It is Monday and I am absolutely exhausted. It has been a long week, an even longer weekend and now here I am at the start of a new week feeling like crawling back under the duvet! In fact, to let you into a secret, my daughter has an inset day today so we really didn’t get out from under the duvet very early. My son did come and join us at 5.45, but that’s another matter… The reason for my tiredness? Well there are a mountain of reasons, but there is one I have been mulling over since I woke up. A few days ago I felt like writing a blog on leaders stepping up – getting over our own ‘issues’ as there are so many hurting people out there in the world – and in our churches too. They need us! They need us to be in a place where we can serve them, help them and then equip them to help others too. But there’s the conundrum right there. As a leader how do you know when it is time to stop giving out and take some time out for yourself? To be refreshed? How do you give out when you are on empty? People who look to you, and come to you regularly, don’t think about the fact that you are a human being with your own family, and get tired just like they do. (Well, a lot don’t.) I know that we should only do what we are called to do, but if you are so busy giving out how do you have time to stop and hear what it is that God wants you to do? It is so so vital to have that quiet space to just be, and hear, but I have to be honest I’m struggling with that right now. I know Jesus took himself away and if he did that, how much more do I need to!! But if you are a ‘do’er’ like I am, it takes real discipline. And I care about people, and want to help them when they are hurting. I have to keep telling myself that I can’t really help that well if I’m not in a great place myself. There is always going to be that tension of people needing you but you needing space to recharge. I think we all have to work out for ourselves what works for us – I’m just being very challenged because I think I’ve got it wrong this week!
3 thoughts on “The leadership conundrum”
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This is such a common problem! My husband and I struggle with it as well. One of the ways we have dealt with is is to designate one day a week that is our sabbath. It is off-limits for ministry commitments and doing anything responsible. There will always be someone else who needs help, another need to fill, and a task to complete. Jesus took time away during the morning and even traveled specifically to escape the crowds. If the Son of God needed time away to reconnect with His Father, how much more so do we? It’s hard, but it will vastly improve your ministry. 🙂
Yes we have tried to instigate a date night a week – something we teach others but have found gets swallowed up ourselves. So we are trying it again. It is difficult when you are so tired that all you want to do on your one night off is blob in front of a film though! So we do that sometimes, but do try and make an effort just to be with each other at other times. We recently went on the marriage course just to give some time over specifically to us as a couple – was wonderful that our kids were happy to be put to bed by a friend from church and it meant we could make it in time for the meal each week. What are you guys involved with ministry-wise? Our lives have suddenly got even busier as my husband is associate pastor, but our main pastor is on sabbatical so he is basically doing everything for 3 months as there are no other full-timers. We are certainly learning a lot! 🙂
Wow, Claire! That’s such a lot of responsibility! It really can be so hard to get time alone together, and have the energy to enjoy it. 🙂
Right now we’re not in a formal position of leadership. We have pastored a couple of college age ministries in the past, and we’re currently anticipating a move from California to Washington next month. We believe that that move will be the beginning of us doing a church plant. We’re praying and waiting on God to reveal fully what He’s got ahead of us. 🙂