Monday morning. A chance to re-focus after another hectic, but fulfilling weekend of fun and church activities. But this Monday morning is slightly different. Because, as I arrived home from dropping both kids to school and my husband off to the (temporary) church office, I realised that that could have been the last time I ever do the latter. The church office will soon be at our house because there is now less than a week until our pastor retires and my husband takes on the role. We’ve been planning and preparing for months now, and are really caught up in the celebrations we are planning for next weekend to honour our pastor and his wife’s tireless commitment and care to the church. But as I sat down with my Bible and cup of tea it suddenly hit me. That this time next week I won’t just be the associate pastor’s wife – I’ll be the pastor’s wife!

I had a sudden flash of the weight of responsibility, but fortunately the weight didn’t hang around for too long. Over the last couple of weekends we’ve had a chance to meet up with others of a similar age in a similar position, some that my husband did his training with, and it’s nice to know that we are not alone. It’s not that we are forging out by ourselves, blazing a trail that’s never been done before. We’re just doing it in our church, in the way we’ve been called to. Of course there are things on my mind that I’m slightly concerned about, and added stresses that have been creeping up on us both – but mainly on my husband. Life is going to go up another gear – again – and we will have to be really careful and conscious of our family at all times. Because we’ve already discovered in the preparation to this time that leadership can be a lonely place at times – even when you’ve got some good, close friends.

I am really glad we are in the position of having our pastor and his wife continue to attend the church, and indeed, continue to help. After a couple of months off they will be back! 😉 She does so much, including the church’s accounts, and he will be working part time in the office. It will be strange to begin with – there will be a new dynamic as he will no longer have any leadership responsibilities and both he and my husband will have to get used to that. But I know that we will really appreciate having them around. Because, for the moment at least, my husband will be the only full-time member of staff. So there will be lots to do… And they will still be there for those times when we realise that we’ve forgotten to ask about how to do something!

But how do I really feel in this countdown week? Proud – of my husband;of both of us for coming through some really tough years to get to this point; scared – I don’t feel qualified (but if my experiences as a worship leader are anything to go by that’s a good thing!); protective  – of our family time, of our kids (wow the spiritual battle that goes on at times is intense!), of my husband; humbled – that He’s called us for such a time as this for such a church as ours and … tired – well it is Monday morning after all! 🙂