Today I welcome Kate Nicholas to the Unmasked: stories of authenticity series. I thoroughly enjoyed her book Sea Changed, and found her insights and courage in the midst of cancer inspirational. She shares here about the need to let go of control and trust Jesus.

For most of my life, I have been a bona fide control freak. It is a tendency honed by years of working in, and with, the media – initially as a journalist then editor-in-chief of business and current affairs magazine and global communications chief of Christian aid agency World Vision.

In the cut and thrust of the newsroom, or the midst of a humanitarian crisis, there is little room for you to be vulnerable. As a leader you have to be seen to be strong, resilient and in control, and in order to survive many develop a mask to hide the child within. My husband used to jokingly refer to the tough persona that I unwittingly developed as Kate Nicholas plc.

It also isn’t easy being a Christian in the media. All too often those with faith are dismissed as too trusting and naive to have the critical faculties necessary for serious journalism. But this view is based on a fundamental misconception about the nature of trust.

Trust isn’t a passive option.It often requires considerable courage. It is the opposite of being in control and learning to trust is sometimes incredibly challenging.

NO CHOICE BUT TO TRUST

It was the summer of 2014 when I was first diagnosed with advanced inoperable cancer that had spread around my heart. My prognosis was not good and I found myself in a situation that was completely beyond my control.

There was absolutely nothing I could do to change it. All I could do was trust that God would do what was best for me. Cancer is a great trust teacher!

From the outset, I felt that God was with me in the midst of my suffering. I had a strong impression that he was telling me to let go, to stop holding on so tightly to my life, and let him take the helm. And it was only when I finally gave in, and surrendered my control freak tendencies, that God was able to do something wonderful and transformative.

LEARNING FROM PETER

The Gospel of Matthew includes a remarkable story about trust. Matthew recounts an incident that took place on the Sea of Galilee. It was a stormy night, and the apostles were rowing through the darkness when they saw what they thought was an apparition walking towards them across the surface of the water. They were understandably afraid and cried out in terror, but then they heard a voice saying, ‘Take courage! It is I. Don’t be afraid.’

They thought it was Jesus but couldn’t be sure so Peter replied, ‘Lord, if it’s you . . . tell me to come to you on the water.’ And when Jesus said simply, ‘Come,’ without hesitation Peter climbed out of the boat and, as the storm raged around him, stepped out in faith towards his Saviour. It is probably the greatest example of breathtaking, inspiring human trust in Scripture.

All too often we focus on the fact that, a few moments later, Peter took his eye off Christ and, looking down at the waves at his feet, began to panic and sink, but this doesn’t diminish the extraordinary trust that he initially displayed. For a moment he put his faith into action and acted on his belief.

To trust is let go of our need for control.Trust isn’t safe. It requires us to step out of our comfort zone and it severely challenges those of us who feel the need to plan every aspect of our lives (and others’) down to the last detail. Trust demands that we, like Peter, be willing to step out in faith into the unknown.

The Hebrew word for ‘to trust’ in the Old Testament is bataach, which means to have a bold, confident security, and the New Testament Greek word pisteuo means to have confidence in the thing believed. Trust requires us to take the risk of believing in that which we can’t yet see,to let go of our own inadequate and incomplete understanding of God’s plans and recognise that he is on the throne.

Living trusting in ourselves is frankly exhausting and ultimately futile, but we will find that when we are willing to truly hand over control to our creator, God will transform us in more ways than we can ever imagine.

Kate Nicholas is an author, broadcaster and consultant with 30 years’ experience working in media and communications. She preaches at the church of St Peter and St Paul, Olney where the world-famous hymn Amazing Grace was written.

Kate’s best-selling memoir Sea Changed (shortlisted Christian Biography of the Year 2017) tells the story of her unconventional journey of faith and healing from advanced cancer. Her latest book Sea Changed: A Companion Guide – Living a Transformed Lifelooks at how God uses the circumstances of our lives to transform us, as well at what the fruits of this transformation look like – including the ultimate transformation that takes place at the end of our earthly life. Her recent 12-part TV series Living a Transformed Life (which aired on TBN UK) can be viewed free on demand at www.katenicholas.co.ukor   https://www.tbnuk.org/vod/watch/living-a-transformed-life/our-god-of-transformation

Kate’s books are available at Christian bookstores and Waterstones throughout the UK and online at eden.co.uk and Amazon worldwide.