Firstly, I must apologise for the break in the weekly blog/devotional series. I know we had just started a new series on timing, which seems a little ironic as my life was turned upside down literally the following week when I got a call to say that my mum was in the final stages of her earthly life.

We had been expecting such a call for a few years; my mum was a strong lady and defied all the experts by living much longer with her degenerative, chronic illnesses than they thought was possible. But a fall a few days previously caused her body to grow even weaker, and she never recovered. 

I spent the next ten days or so sitting by her bedside, along with my dad, sister and nieces, reminiscing, reading to her, telling her how much we loved her – and playing a lot of card games! We laughed and cried, and held one another tightly as my mum made her final journey home to Jesus.

What seemed like terrible timing to me to begin with, began to reveal itself as a blessing in disguise; I was halfway through writing a devotional book on loss and disappointment. When I was first asked if I would write it, I had an inkling that God would walk me through this part of our family’s history and so much of me shrunk back from having to face that. But I knew, deep down, that He wanted me to write the book, and that He would help me do so whatever the circumstances. 

I certainly look back now she has gone and wonder how I managed to write sitting beside her as she slipped away; I know I couldn’t face writing it now as grief’s waves keep engulfing me. But, at the time, it seemed like a fitting tribute to her. She was hugely creative, and enormously encouraging to me with my editing and writing. Her own spiritual wrestlings and insights often made their way into beautifully expressive poetry; she often said that she felt compelled to sit down and write and it was almost like God was giving her a direct download that she was simply the conduit of. The experience of writing the devotional was a little like that – very different from my usual writing method.

So, today I want to honour my mum – over the coming months I may well share some of her poetry with you; for now the purpose of this post was simply to update you and ask for your patience as I process our loss and try to support the rest of my family. The weekly devotionals may or may not make it up – I’ll do my best, but rest assured I am thinking and praying for you all and will be posting whenever I can.