Feeding the clown while half asleep…

I had a really fulfilling day yesterday. Absolutely manic but I felt I achieved a lot and got on top of loads of things that had been hanging over me. As well as looking after my son I cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, worked on some articles, came up with some more article ideas, did a load of ironing, cooked a nice meal for me and hubby after the kids were tucked up in bed and even managed to watch a film with him too as it was our only night off this week. I went to bed exhausted but happy. I had just snuggled down into the covers, just got myself into that half asleep state, when in padded our little boy saying the rain had woken him up. I got up, told him the rain wasn’t scary, put him back into bed, tucked him in, kissed him good night and prayed with him then left his room while saying there was no need to get back up again till morning. This little routine happened about 8 times over the next 21/2 hours – then he finally fell asleep… only to appear again at 4am. This time I was so exhausted I couldn’t even bring myself to get back up and let him crawl in with us. I never normally do that – and it was a bad decision because then I only got fitful snoozes after that. As our daughter ran in at 7am all bright and cheerful my heart sank, as I knew I was helping at the school fayre all day and really needed to be livelier than I was feeling! I know there are so many other parents out there that have to cope with this lack of sleep on a regular basis. For me, it is one of the hardest things about parenting. It’s at such times, when something out of the ordinary happens, that I realise that the pace I live my life at is only just about do-able. I did really enjoy helping out at the fayre on the ‘feed the clown’ stall but I felt incredibly sick. As soon as we got home both me and my son crashed out on our bed for a couple of hours – actually quite nice but not a luxury I can afford most days. I asked my husband to help me make sure we both go to bed early each night this week – as it was getting later and later and now I’m just past exhaustion. I know I was talking about spiritual spring cleaning the other day – but we also have a responsibility to look after our bodies too – and this one is just plain tired…

Appreciating one another

Many of the thoughts that get me delving more deeply into my brain to ponder an issue occur when I’m doing something mundane. I guess that’s just a reflection of my life as a mum! I was busy dishing up dinner the other night when it suddenly dawned on me that I had probably already prepared, cooked and served up hundreds – if not thousands – of dishes since getting married and that there is no end in sight! We will have been married 18 years in August, our eldest will turn 6 in September, but I will still be clocking up the amount of meals I’ve prepared for us well after the time my husband and I retire! I started to get the hump – started to think about how many jobs a mother – and wife – does that go on behind the scenes, unnoticed. But then something in my spirit stopped me. And I started remembering all the times when my husband had sacrificially given of his time and I’d taken it for granted. And the times when my kids may have done something I’d been trying to teach them to do for ages and they suddenly ‘got it’ – but in my weary state I didn’t seem to praise or encourage them that much. I then started thinking about all the people there are in our church. A church doesn’t function without the help of its members and I wondered how often I’d thanked the welcome team for putting out the chairs faithfully each week for example. And, as I head up the worship team with my husband, I started thinking about all the musicians we are responsible for. How often do I take the time to check how each one of them is? I know I make sure to thank each one that plays alongside me on a particular Sunday, but what about all the other times when I’m not leading – do I still make time to show my appreciation? I know that it would seem forced to thank everyone every week, but I did get stopped in my tracks and just believe it is worth each one of us thinking about this. Do we truly appreciate those people who are around us day by day – the ones that we ‘do life with’? We could all do with some encouragement – why not tell someone how much you appreciate them today?

Spring cleaning your soul

I was busy cleaning my bathroom yesterday when I started thinking about how busy I have been recently. For quite a few weeks my cleaning regime has been rather curtailed due to lack of time. I have made sure that the place is hygienic, but it has been more about tidying up surfaces and making the place look okay rather than doing a thorough clean. As I started scrubbing I suddenly realised that that is how we can often be with our spiritual lives too. The things we do as so-called disciples of God can often be more about making sure we look good on the outside, rather than taking care of ourselves spiritually. Our souls can be crying out for some good nourishment, but we are so caught up with external things that we don’t even notice. I know that there has been much written about not approaching bible reading as something simply to be ticked off a ‘to do’ list, and not to be under condemnation if we don’t manage to read it every day. But I do think we are in danger of cheapening the grace that Christ won for us. Yes He died to set us free, but that didn’t take away our own responsibility to look after ourselves. Our society has a work hard, play hard mentality, which usually involves sessions at the gym or whatever your chosen method of exercise is. But for some reason, while we are happy to come on board the ‘look after your body’ camp, many of us Christians don’t seem to think much about looking after our souls. As we believe that our bodies are temporary (I know we are to look after them!), and that the important part of us is our soul, how come that belief hasn’t filtered down into what we actually do? The book that I was asked to write 8 years ago was on keeping ourselves spiritually fit – and it is just as much of an issue today. I am going to consciously try and take some time this week to honestly look at the state of my spiritual health (there are even some helpful checklists in my book that I will probably go back to! ;). I wonder, when was the last time you ‘spring cleaned’ your soul?