Category: Guest posts

A profound encounter with God

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I am thrilled to welcome Kate Nicholas back to my blog, as her new book releases. I had the privilege of reading an early version, endorsing it and also interviewing Kate at her launch event. This book is well worth getting hold of…

How do you write about an experience of God that goes beyond words? This is the challenge that I faced when writing my latest book To The Ocean Floor.

When I was first diagnosed with Stage IV breast cancer in 2014, I was given a piece of scripture from Psalm 118:17, ‘I will not die, but live and declare the works of the Lord.’ And when, against all odds, I survived I dedicated to myself to this mission. During the following seven years of glorious remission, God opened amazing doors for me as an author, broadcaster and preacher, and I began to get used to the idea that I was going to live.

Then in 2021, in the midst of the pandemic, a routine mammogram revealed that the cancer had returned with a vengeance. Within weeks of starting chemotherapy I became desperately ill, and on one of the toughest days of that journey, I sank beneath the waves of consciousness – where I had a profound encounter with God.

Recapturing that deep connection

As I recovered, I was left with a powerful yearning for that connection and as I sought to recapture the intensity of what I call my ‘ocean floor’ experience. I began to explore a contemplative practice that dates back to the dawn of Christianity, which points towards a more intuitive connection with God – the kind of connection that I had experienced in the depths.

In this new book, I recount my exploration of a meditative tradition that goes all the way back to the Apostle Paul, Desert Fathers, Celtic Christians and Medieval mystics; a tradition that has been since been developed by modern monastic spiritual masters such as Bede Griffiths and John Main.

Never alone despite isolation

One of the things that I became acutely aware of on this journey was that God was all around me. Perhaps it was because I was so isolated for much of this time (Covid and chemo-induced lack of immunity are not a great combination) that every interaction with the staff and fellow patients at my local hospital seemed charged with meaning.

On the wards, I was astounded by the wonderful staff of the NHS whose compassion, professionalism and resilience never failed to amaze me. I knew that somehow Christ was in that place, in the healing hands and the patience but also the cries of pain and fear; unseen but all pervading.

Facing death – finding God

There’s no doubt about it, the road I travelled was not easy and it brought to the very verge of death. But it has also been a time of profound discovery; an inner journey into the mystery of God and what one reviewer called ‘the richness to the be found at the border of life’s journey’.

There is an innate paradox in writing a book about an experience of God that defies description. But when the poignancy of the moment seemed to outweigh my ability to express myself, I found that the Spirit took over and words began to arrange themselves in unexpected ways; prose sometimes morphing into poetry.

While I write openly about some quite difficult experiences as I went through cancer treatment, this is ultimately a book about hope. It’s about the fact that our reality is far more mysterious and exciting than we can ever imagine and reveals a deep and profound connection with our creator.

It’s my prayer that To The Ocean Floor will provide reassurance those who have wondered where God is in the face of challenges and inspire readers to go deeper in terms of their own intuitive connection; to be still and know in the deepest core of their being that He is God.

To find out more about Kate Nicholas’ books, TV series, courses and blog visit www.katenicholas.co.uk

Unity in diversity

I have had the pleasure recently of being involved in a multi-contributor project: The Jesse Tree Anthology. The brains behind the project, Rachel Yarworth, has provided a guest blog today, revealing more about how the idea developed, the ups and downs of the process – and why she is so grateful to God for it. I heartily recommend it as an Advent resource – both for individuals but also for families.

There’s a window in Coventry Cathedral that is simply breathtaking. I say ‘a window’ – it’s actually an 85-foot-tall collection of 198 panels of beautiful stained glass. Each panel has its own beauty when you look at it in isolation, but when you stand back and look at the whole window, it is glorious. And I don’t use that word lightly. No two parts are the same, but the whole is made even more glorious because of the variety. For me, that’s the beauty of unity.

It’s a common biblical theme. Think of the “great cloud of witnesses” of Hebrews 11 and 12 – that vast collective of men and women of faith whose different voices and stories all witness to God’s faithfulness. Or the Body of Christ in 1 Corinthians 12 – each part having its own purpose that serves the whole. Or think of the precious anointing oil in Psalm 133:2 – that precious combination of olive oil, myrrh, cinnamon, calamus and cassia, all contributing to make one powerful blend. So it is when God’s beautifully diverse people unite together for the express purpose of glorifying Him.

It was with these ideas in mind that I embarked on my latest publication: The Jesse Tree Anthology. While considering the possibility of writing a ‘Jesse Tree’ resource that specifically focused on how each Bible story pointed to Jesus, I came across an article about taking part in an anthology as a way for self-published authors to get their books before a wider audience. When I read that, I immediately thought of my writer friends who might benefit in this way. And as the anthology concept and the Jesse Tree subject came together, it seemed to be a match made in heaven.

The Jesse Tree explained

You see, the Jesse Tree tradition is all about using the Advent season to retell key stories of Jesus’ ancestors and forerunners: multiple unique accounts of men and women of faith, each revealing the glory of God in a slightly different way. So what better way to present the richness of those multiple stories, than by using multiple different voices to tell them? Voices of modern men and women of faith! Unity in diversity! Like a weaver intertwines multiple strands of warp and weft to form a single piece of beautiful fabric, I pictured the many strands of ancient stories woven together with the many strands of modern voices to make one God-glorifying piece of art.

The process unpacked

Of course, that’s a romantic picture. In practical terms, keeping track of 25 different authors, and what stages they were each at, was a distinctly prosaic reality. Suggesting corrections to writers with more experience than I required me to face up to the crippling shame of Imposter Syndrome. Editing and re-editing and re-editing again relegated the project at times to the realm of sheer hard work.

But eventually we got there, and when I held the first print copy of the book in my hands, I felt fully blessed. I am thrilled with what we have created, and the way all of our hard work has come together to form something beautiful. What is even more precious to me – and I dare suggest, maybe to God too – is the unity that was displayed behind the scenes. When two people needed to withdraw along the way, it was done in grace with no offense held, and God quickly provided others to take their place. When I was at the height of feeling I wasn’t up to leading the project, some of the contributors (who had no idea how I was feeling) contacted me to say they were praying for me and they believed God’s hand was on it all. When the book was almost ready to be printed and I was feeling exhausted and overwhelmed by publicity demands, some of the contributors started posting their own promotions of the book, which brought me to tears by reminding me of the original vision and how they were all carrying it too. 

Each contributor gave of their best to add a lovely, God-glorifying piece of writing, for which I am utterly thankful. But what I appreciate even more is the way they each gave of themselves in diverse ways reflecting their individual graces, to come together as one and produce a unity truly precious in God’s sight. The book is great – I love it. But the unity? That’s been truly glorious.

Rachel Yarworth is the author of Friend of God: The Miraculous Life of an Ordinary Person and The Jesse Tree Anthology. Rachel lives in Worcestershire with her husband Mike, their three sons and their miniature labradoodle. When not writing, Rachel can usually be found home educating her younger two boys, leading a home church or going for long walks in the countryside.

How to be a valuable Christian

I am delighted to welcome Liz Carter onto my website today, with a guest post as part of the blog tour for her fantastic new book Valuable. I was thrilled to read an advance copy of it, and delighted to endorse it too. The book shares such a vital message to us all – I thoroughly recommend it to you.

I was really sick again. I’d been prayed for so many times through my life of illness, and I had not been healed. I was still in pain. Somebody in the group prayed for me with these words: ‘Father, please heal Liz so she can be useful again. So you can use her again.’

I felt like I was falling apart as those words churned in my mind. Useful again. Useful. Useful. It seemed to me that in order to be useful to God I must get better, and because I wasn’t getting better, I was useless. I was not valuable to God. I went out of that meeting with my head hung low and my heart heavy. Would I ever be of use to God? Even when people told me God could use me I couldn’t make those words mean good things for me. I couldn’t be used, because I wasn’t well enough. And did I want to be used, anyway? Was being used by someone a good thing?

Let’s look at the words we use

Language is so important, and as Christians we sometimes forget this and we use words and phrases that some might call ‘Christianese’; incomprehensible to the world around us. When we talk in terms of being useful to God, or of God using, people on the outside of faith may look on and raise their eyebrows at the idea that ‘God using’ is positive language. After all, when we talk about a guy using a woman, we don’t mean it in a positive way, do we? We mean he has used her for his own ends. So why do we talk about God like this?

It’s one of those things that we think must be in the Bible, but when we look into it it actually isn’t (a bit like unhelpful phrases like ‘God helps those who help themselves’). The verb ‘to use’ with us as objects and God as the user just doesn’t appear anywhere at all. There are some great pictures about us as honoured vessels, created by God for good purposes, but not to ‘be used’ by God. What if there is a different way of thinking about how God works in us and through us – a way that more accurately describes the love-relationship God longs for with us and has created us for?

What God values v what society does

God’s kingdom is an upside-down kingdom. While the world values productivity and usefulness, God values us for who we are: his beloved children. We do not have to earn God’s love, and we are not God’s tools, picked up and then discarded when the job is over with. Instead, God partners with us and joins with us (John 15) and is delighted in us (Zephaniah 3:17). In God’s economy, we are all loved and all equal (Galatians 3:28). The picture Paul shared of us all being equal parts of the body of Christ (1 Corinthians 12:27) was astoundingly radical and counter-cultural in a time where power was valued and the weak were thought of as lesser. It still speaks to us today in a society where ‘doing’ often seems to count more than ‘being’.

Even in church we can find this narrative has taken hold: we see how the useful, the strong, are valued above the weak, and so people who are weak can feel lesser. It plays into the way we talk about healing, too, as I said at the start: somehow we have come to believe that healing and ‘wholeness’ will make us more useful to (and used by) God. Somewhere along the line we have forgotten that God is not interested in how much we do, but in how much we love him and how much we respond to his transformative grace and power. For a disabled, chronically ill person like me, this is so liberating: I am found in Christ and freed in Christ, not for how much I do but for who I am created to be.

So when those kinds of prayers are prayed over me, I am free to say no, I do not need to be healed to be useful to God. I find God working in me and through me within my pain, and I do not have to always be trying harder, or getting better, or striving away to earn my place in God’s kingdom. I’m so grateful.

Knowing your value

My new book, Valuable: Why your worth is not defined by how useful you feel digs into these ideas and reflects on our stories in God, stories of his infinite love over us rather than stories of how useful we are to him and to those around us. It is my prayer that as you read it, you will find yourself set free from the narrative that you are not enough, and be assured that you are of more worth than precious gems.

That you are valuable.

Liz Carter is a writer and poet from Shropshire, UK. She is the author of Catching Contentment, Treasure in Dark Places and Valuable. You can find her on Twitter @LizCarterWriter, on Instagram, Facebook and TikTok @greatadventureliz, or at her website.

Labyrinths

I am delighted to welcome Fay Rowland to my blog, as part of the blog tour for her new book 40 Days with Labyrinths. Here she explains what labyrinths are, why she loves drawing them and how you might like to utilise the labyrinths she provides in her book.

I launched my book at the beautiful Launde Abbey in Leicestershire. If you have a chance to visit Laude, I heartily recommend it as it is a place of peace and beauty, where 900 years of prayer have soaked into the very stones and give off a timeless scent of serenity. They also do fabulous cakes!

One of my favourite parts of Launde is the large grass labyrinth behind the kitchen garden. It’s based on the famous design in Chartres Cathedral, and it’s a delight to see it changing with the seasons.

Labyrinths explained

A labyrinth is different from a maze, although they look similar. A maze is a puzzle that tries to trap and confuse you. It has dead ends and wrong paths and you have to battle the maze and try to beat it. A labyrinth is entirely the opposite.

A labyrinth has only one path, which twists and turns, but always leads to the goal. Because of this, a labyrinth guides and relaxes you. You cannot make a mistake and you cannot get lost. Walking a labyrinth is similar to the soothing rhythm of knitting, as the path leads to and fro and you do not have to worry about where to go next; just follow the path and trust.

Utilising labyrinths in our spiritual lives

This aspect of labyrinths makes them an excellent model of the Christian life, where we cannot determine what the future may hold, but we can trust that God know what he’s doing and walk life’s labyrinth path in his company.

When full-sized labyrinths are not available, drawn ‘finger’ labyrinths are perfect for slowing down and giving ourselves the excuse to spend some time resting in God’s company.

The idea behind my book

I love to draw labyrinths. The act of creating the patterns is very restful, and afterwards I can trace the path with a finger or with colouring pencils and pause at the turns to breathe and reflect – a soothing walk with God. The above picture is a watercolour I made of Launde Abbey’s labyrinth and it was as much a delight to paint as to walk. Labyrinths work especially well with the intricate ‘zentangle’ designs you often see in grown-up colouring books.

I had the idea of combining my love of drawing labyrinths with gentle Bible reflections, allowing people to ponder as they ‘walk’ or colour the drawings. The lovely people at Darton, Longman and Todd have done a fabulous job of making the idea a reality.

Engaging with the labyrinths in the book

The book has 40 short Bible readings groups into topics (eg Bread, Water, Home, Wonder) each with a reflection and short prayer. They’re all written in accessible, relevant language that echoes the hopes, doubts and concerns of real people living real lives. The readings are accompanied by hand-drawn labyrinths, including the popular Celtic knot designs, traditional ‘classical’ labyrinths that have been drawn for thousands of years, and contemporary patterns designed especially for this book.

There are also suggestions for how you might like to walk the labyrinths, although there is no ‘right’ or ‘wrong’ way. Some people like to pause at the turns and say a short prayer; perhaps a line of The Lord’s prayer or a short phrase such as ‘Come, Lord Jesus’. Another way is to imagine placing your guilt and regrets along the path – you could draw them if you wish – and reaching the centre as John Bunyan’s Pilgrim, free of your burdens. Ask God’s forgiveness and walk back out of the labyrinth, leaving the rubbish at the side of the path. Or, very simply, you can use the labyrinths as an excuse to sit in stillness for a while and ponder the passage or listen to God – busying your hands to still your mind.

Fay Rowland is a mum and mathematician, Trekkie and theologian, scientist and sewing ninja. She writes intergenerational Christian resources, including a number of books, and her interests include the overlap of science and faith, children’s spirituality and beautiful algebra. She lives in the English Midlands with her pet dragon.

To find out more about Fay, and read more from her, visit her website.

Writing as an act of worship

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I am delighted to welcome Rob Seabrook to my blog, as part of the blog tour for his book Beneath the Tamarisk Tree, which is a fictional retelling of the story of the penitent thief who met Jesus on the cross. Awaking in heaven, he is welcomed by Jesus and looks back over his story… At the start of the book Rob provides a ‘Note from the Author’, in which he says: “This book is ultimately an act of worship, to bring glory to God. It is attempting to help us understand more of who God is and what he had to endure for each of us.” Over to Rob…

Reflecting God’s creativity

I am not musical in any way, I cannot sing well and I am certainly no dancer! But I like to think I can write, and even if no one else likes my writing then at least it gives me pleasure to be creative. And creativity is a reflection of God. It is His very nature to be creative, infinitely creative. His imagination is unlimited, displayed in the endless creativity we see around us, as well as the way He has created each of us to be unique. Billions of souls, all made in His image but all unique. What depth of imagination that takes. So to me it makes sense that our imaginations are a gift from Him, which, if well directed, can be used as an act of worship to bring the glory back to Him.

The power of storytelling

This concept of my writing being an act of worship was new to me when I began the writing process. As the story developed, the characters became real to me, the images of each scene began to grow in my imagination and I began to see how the creation of a novel could be an act of worship. Especially if I kept hold of the overall mission, which was to communicate the good news of Jesus to the reader and help to bring them on in their relationship with God. After all, storytelling was a tool that Jesus often used to communicate His message, each time bringing the focus back to the Kingdom of God. For millennia, people have used storytelling to communicate important truths…stories grab our attention, spark our imaginations, engage us in the narrative and help us to associate with the message.

Writing biblical fiction

My chosen genre for my first novel was ‘biblical fiction’ – two words that Christians don’t really like to put together! I certainly felt the responsibility of creating a work that in no way presented an alternative narrative to the Bible, that did not detract from the Word or add to it (Deuteronomy 4:2 and Revelation 22:18-19 are quite clear on this). However, I read quite a lot of other biblical fiction books as a part of my research, mostly very good but a few that made me wince as I read them, and I began to see a way through it. The genre can certainly be used to expand the reader’s understanding of a Bible story and bring deeper understanding. In many cases, when it is well researched, it brings cultural context that is often not clear to us as we read the Bible text, and hence it can clarify the meaning and improve our understanding.

Asking for feedback

There was one element that I found especially hard to write, which was when Jesus needed dialogue. Who am I to put words into the mouth of Jesus? I felt the weight of responsibility to pitch this right. As much as I could I tried to keep the dialogue brief, but using sentiment and phrases that were aligned to His words as quoted in the Bible. At all times I kept in mind the character and intentions of Jesus, and how He was most likely to have approached the conversations. And then I read, re-read, edited and re-edited many times, then ensured that a number of much more qualified theologians than me read it and gave me whatever feedback necessary to fine tune it. My measure of success was that they would read it and the words would not grate, or feel out of place. They indicated that they were the sort of words they could imagine Jesus speaking. I was thankful for a great team to support the writing process.

Leading others

I would like to encourage others to use their God-given gifts to create worship. Our first thought is so often that worship is for others to lead us into, but those of us who like to write can do so with a clear purpose to bring glory to God and help to lead others into a place of worship. Short stories, novels, teaching books, poems, prayers, blogs, newspaper articles and even church newsletters – all can be written as an act of worship.

Rob Seabrook lives and works in beautiful Devon, is married to Gemma, with three grown-up children, Bruno the dog and some chickens. As foster carers, together they have gained insight into the impact of trauma on children, and have seen that rebuilding a life takes endless patience, full acceptance, love and care, and there is always room for second chances. It is this experience that part inspired the context for Beneath the Tamarisk Tree.

A keen reader, after a few years of procrastinating he finally felt challenged to have a go at writing a book for himself. Beneath the Tamarisk Tree is his first novel.

Visit Rob’s website and/or follow him at: Instagram: @rob_seabrook, Facebook: @authorrobseabrook, Twitter: @SeabrookRob

Rob is running a giveaway up to 15th February, offering five copies of the book or eBook to new subscribers.

Staying authentic while telling my story

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I am delighted to welcome Rachel Yarworth to my blog as part of her blog tour for her recently released book Friend of God: The Miraculous Life of an Ordinary Person. Here she focuses on how she felt the need to keep her writing authentic, despite the (very good) advice from others.

Not feeling good enough

When I started writing my book, I felt like a total imposter. Successful authors are eloquent and skilled at their craft (I have my moments in blogging), but surely becoming published would require functioning at an even higher level: one where you are accepted, endorsed and promoted by people who know what good writing is. I felt sure I was not good enough. But I bolstered myself with the kind words of fellow writers who reassured me that the one thing most successful authors have in common is Imposter Syndrome. And I kept writing.

Advised to make changes

When I finally plucked up courage to send my manuscript to beta-readers and potential editors I was given a lot of encouragement about my writing generally, but also told that if I wanted a publishing deal, or even just to sell lots of copies, I would need to change my book: to focus on the more sensational parts of my story; to narrow my target audience down; to ‘show not tell’. All very good advice.

I tried to satisfy each of these demands – I really, really tried. But the problem was, each time I tried, I felt I was betraying my own story and somehow becoming inauthentic. It was important to me that my book was not purely sensational. Yes, there are some amazing miracles in it, but I didn’t want it to be just about those – I wanted to show how God has been just as good a friend in the mundane, everyday messes of life.

I didn’t want a narrow audience either: I felt compelled to make it as accessible as I could, to as wide a range of people as possible. I was a bit more successful at improving the ‘show not tell’ aspect, with the help of a writing coach – but still, I was very aware of not excluding those in the neurodivergent community I love, who can struggle when things aren’t clearly told. So while a small voice inside kept whispering not to give up, I pursued my book with a horrible feeling of ‘getting it all wrong’ constantly hanging over me.

Telling my story

My breakthrough came one day when I was praying about it, feeling miserable that I couldn’t make myself write as the professionals told me I should, and that my chances of my book being accepted for publication were next to nothing. How could I obey the call I had felt to write? Was I letting God down? As I prayed, I felt God speak gently into my heart to offer me a loving choice: did I really want to conform to the world’s ‘should’s of polished perfection? Or did I want to be authentic, simply telling my story to the best of my ability and leaving the rest to Him? I smiled, and peace was restored to my heart. The pro-writer dream is an appealing fancy, but deep down in my heart I don’t care if I never become a ‘successful author’” in the world’s eyes – I just want to do what God asked of me, to get my story out there, for Him.

So I’m OK if my book is not a masterpiece. I don’t think I would ever have published it if I had continued with that pressure on myself. But since it was published, I have received feedback from readers saying how relatable, inspiring and encouraging my story is, and several customers have bought multiple copies so they can give them as gifts to people who wouldn’t normally read Christian books. In short, the things I did ‘wrong’ have become the things that people appreciate! 

We all have authentic stories

And that’s the point. God’s kind, wise words weren’t just about my book, and they weren’t just for me. We may not all be writers but we all have stories to share. And as Christians we don’t have to be somehow better than we are before sharing them – God likes working through our flawed humanity. We don’t have to portray a more polished version of ourselves to be accepted by the world. It turns out, most people can’t relate to that kind of inauthenticity. We just need to be what the world needs: imperfect but truthful witnesses of what we have seen Him do and who we have experienced Him to be. We don’t need to be polished or clever – just honest. Authentic.

Note from Claire: I have a whole series of guest posts from others sharing their authentic stories. Click here to read them.

Rachel lives in Worcestershire with her husband Mike, their three miracle sons and their miniature labradoodle. When not writing, Rachel can usually be found home educating her younger two boys, leading a home church or going for long walks in the countryside.

Her first book, Friend of God: The Miraculous Life of an Ordinary Person, was published December 2022. It is available on Amazon, and can also be ordered in good bookshops. For more from Rachel, you can go to her website or follow her writer pages:
Facebook: Rachel Yarworth, Writer
Instagram: rachelyarworthwriter
Goodreads: Rachel Yarworth

Unmasking Christmas: Find your way to hope through honesty, gentleness and joy

Photo by Tessa Rampersad on Unsplash

It is my absolute delight to welcome Abby Ball to my website today, as she shares how we can ‘unmask’ Christmas to find hope. This guest blog comes as she launches her latest book, Contemplating Christmas. I am thrilled to have endorsed it as it is such a refreshingly honest read that I would encourage you to get hold of for this Advent (I have included my endorsement at the bottom). So, over to Abby…

The Christmas adverts have been with us for weeks now, and they are very good at reminding us what Christmas is meant to look like. There’s supposed to be a happy family who loves spending time together in a beautifully decorated house. There’s meant to be a delicious feast, with an enormous pile of gifts under the tree. Everything is supposed to be sparkly and merry and fun. 

But what if it’s not? What if you’re facing difficult family issues? What if you’re living with grief and Christmas highlights your heartbreak and loss? What if you’re living with a chronic illness that won’t take a break for the holidays? What if you’re already overwhelmed, worn down and weary before the season has even fully begun? What might Christmas stories have to offer those of us who are hurting, exhausted and in despair?

I’d like to suggest three invitations, or practices, the Gospel stories offer us when things are hard, to help us find our way back to hope.

Be honest

With all the cultural expectations of happiness and fun that surround Christmas, it can be easy to pretend everything is OK, even when it isn’t. We can be tempted to put on a mask, fake our smile and act like we’ve got it all together. But the nativity stories of the Bible don’t do this. Luke’s Gospel opens with the painful story of Elizabeth and Zachariah’s long-term infertility. Then we hear about Joseph, who faces the heartbreak of thinking his fiancée has cheated on him. Still later in the story, we encounter the mothers of Bethlehem, whose babies have been murdered by the evil Herod. 

These are very personal, very painful stories and the Bible makes room for them. It doesn’t gloss over them or pretend they didn’t happen and God isn’t asking us to do that with our pain either. If you’re struggling this Christmas, you don’t have to pretend. Find a trusted person and tell them how you really are. Just saying those words “I’m not OK” can bring us a small measure of relief. 

Be gentle

This time of year we remember the way that Jesus, who was fully divine, fully God, came to earth and was born as a tiny baby. Jesus began his life on earth in exactly the same way we do. He was totally helpless and vulnerable, completely dependent on the care and kindness of his parents. This story of God-become-man helps us to understand that being vulnerable and having needs isn’t weakness, it’s just part of what it means to be human. Jesus had the same needs as we do: the need for food, shelter and warmth; the need for rest, safety and affection; the need for meaning, purpose and relationship with God. 

Of course, as we grow up, we take responsibility for meeting our own needs. But be very gentle with yourself, and remember that it’s OK to ask for help. It’s OK if you haven’t got it all together and can’t do it all on your own. It’s hard to be vulnerable and admit to our own needs sometimes, but having needs is part of what it means to be fully human. 

Find joy

Sometimes it feels like joy is beyond our grasp. We want to feel happy but we’re still waiting for our big breakthrough, or changed situation. And sometimes joy can even feel inappropriate in the midst of so much suffering and grief in the world. 

But I think joy is closer that it might seem. There are big celebratory moments in the Christmas stories, but there are quieter ones, too. I think about the quiet moments between Mary and Jesus. I think about the shepherds, contentedly tending to their sheep. I think about light shimmering from that bright star leading the wise men. 

Joy was never meant to invalidate, or erase, our sorrow, but it can help us carry it with more ease. It can help us to find delight, even in the midst of what’s hard. Joy dares to believe there are good, beautiful things worth celebrating, and that suffering isn’t the end of our story. Advent is a great time to lean into small joys because there are so many of them around! The taste of a mince pie, the sound of a favourite carol, the sparkle of fairy lights or the tiny glow of warmth from a lit candle. Use your senses and see what small delights the day might hold for you.

A genuine hope

We can find hope this Advent through being honest, being gentle with ourselves and finding small moments of joy. It’s a genuine hope that doesn’t ask us to pretend, and doesn’t leave us to struggle along on our own. At Christmas we remember that Jesus is Immanuel, God with us, and he can make all things new.

Abby Ball was a primary school teacher for many years and now works as a freelance writer. Her work has been published in Fathom Mag, The Mudroom and Teach Primary. She lives in the UK with her husband, Tim, and their cat, Otta. Find more of Abby’s work at abbyball.substack.com, or on social media @abbyballwrites

Here is my endorsement of Abby’s book: ‘Abby has a beautiful, poetic style of writing that draws the reader in immediately. She has also managed to create a refreshingly different Advent devotional that is honest about the struggles and difficulties of life, but also invites us to push past the consumerism and cultural expectations of the season to draw closer to Jesus – even in the midst of our questions and hurting. Her reflection questions are insightful, helping the reader to really think and apply what they have been reading about, and the breath prayers are wonderful, easy takeaways to use throughout the day. This is a rich resource that offers a gentle yet powerful accompaniment to Advent.’

I have a series of blogs on hope on this site. For a sample of one click here.

Issy Smugge joins the Sandwich Generation

I am delighted to welcome Ruth Leigh to my blog today, to talk about the sandwich generation on the publication day of her latest Issy Smugge book: The Continued Times of Isabella M Smugge. (For Ruth’s previous guest blogs click here and here.)

Google the phrase ‘sandwich generation’ and a fairly dispiriting set of definitions comes up. Under the headline, ‘Sandwich generation moms feeling the squeeze’, the American Psychological Association has this to say: 

Mothers caring for both children and aging parents often feel overextended…the ‘sandwich generation,’ ages 35-54, feel more stress than any other age group as they balance the demanding, delicate acts of caring for growing children and their aging parents. Nearly 40 percent of those aged 35-54 report extreme levels of stress (compared to 29 percent of 18-34 years old and 25 percent of those older than 55). This stress takes a toll not only on personal relationships—83 percent say relationships with their spouse, children, and family is the top source of their stress—but also on their own well-being as they struggle to take better care of themselves.

The phrase was first used in the early 1980s as the baby boom generation began to retire, life expectancy increased and people were leaving it till later to start their families. These days, it’s a fully-fledged demographic, and even starry Instamum Isabella M Smugge, with her full complement of staff and plenty of money, is feeling the squeeze.

Issy’s experiences as part of the sandwich generation

At the end of my second book, The Trials of Isabella M Smugge, our heroine’s mother had a serious stroke. Poor Isabella had already had a rough year, what with an unplanned fourth baby, losing her right-hand woman and devoted au pair Sofija and becoming a single parent. She and her mother had always had a fractious relationship, but in spite of that, she didn’t hesitate when offering her a home at her gracious abode the Old Rectory. At the end of “Trials”, Mummy was ensconced in the best bedroom and her daughter was bracing herself for a challenging future.

The new book, The Continued Times of Isabella M Smugge, opens with Isabella struggling with her new daily routine. Not only is she being kept up at night by a teething baby, but also startled into wakefulness by her mother banging on the floor with a stick and demanding round the clock service:

In addition to my actual baby, my mother is behaving like a child. She refuses to use the walking frame I sourced and insists on having her stick by the side of the bed, not to aid mobility, but to attract my attention. I was jerked awake at 5.32 this morning by loud and repeated banging, having only just nodded off from my earlier wake-up call from Milo. Stumbling crossly into her room, I found her scowling at me and requesting more cucumber water. If she wants twenty-four-hour room service, she should check into The Savoy. I may have mentioned this. It didn’t go down well. Using bad language is very wrong and unladylike, but sometimes it must be done.

As in art, so in life

While writing this book, I found myself becoming the filling in a responsibility sandwich, with three teenagers in various stages of work, relationships and education, a household to run, a marriage to maintain, a burgeoning career to encourage and two very elderly and frail parents in need of increasing care. Unlike Isabella, I don’t have a gardener, housekeeper and manicurist between me and complete meltdown. There were many times when, head in hands, I felt that I was being pulled in a million different directions at once. 

There were doctor’s appointments to make, taxis to book and pay for, a weekly shop to do, hospital bookings to chase up, social lives other than my own to organise (oh no, hang on, I haven’t got one of those any more), medication to order, hair, chiropody and massage slots to book plus all the other things I have to do as a busy mother of three. OK, I started my family relatively late (36) but then so did my parents (36 and 40). The combination of a blamelessly healthy lifestyle and great genes (them) and a Type A over-achieving personality, pretty good genes and three lively teenagers (me) was always going to lead to a whole heap of responsibilities. 

Using humour to highlight the difficulties

I put in lots of jokes in Continued Times. Mummy is probably only in her late sixties and an unexpected twist of fate finds her recovering from her stroke at top speed. However, there was plenty of scope for writing about the difficulties of multi-generational living, especially when there are lots of unresolved issues in the relationship. Reader reviews so far have mentioned this particular storyline a lot – it seems to resonate.

Isabella’s connection with her community and church is helping her through some very difficult times in this third instalment of her life. Mummy makes an unlikely friend and there are plot threads left hanging for book four. In real life, away from the Smugge-i-verse, there are thousands of exhausted people trying to care for the generation above and below. It’s wearing, often thankless and goes largely unnoticed, but I do hope that by shining a light on it (albeit in a humorous way), it might help a few of my readers through what is undoubtedly a very challenging time of life.

#issysayskeepgoing #ohmummy #tired 

Ruth Leigh is a freelance writer, novelist and book reviewer. Married with three children, a cat, one husband and assorted poultry, she is a recovering over-achiever.

The Continued Times of Isabella M Smugge is published today. It can be found online at Waterstones, Eden and Amazon, on Kindle, at Woodbridge Books, Halesworth Bookshop and Dial Lane Books in Ipswich and from Ruth’s website.

Soul story

Image by Gerd Altmann on Pixabay

I’ve had the pleasure of hosting Kate Nicholas on my blog twice before and am thrilled to welcome her back to describe how we each have a soul story to share, as she launches her book Soul’s Scribe.

How do you feel about talking about your walk with God? The idea of sharing our faith with others can certainly be quite daunting, particularly if we feel that we don’t know enough about the Bible or worry about being asked questions we just can’t answer. However, we don’t have to be theologians to witness convincingly. All we need to be able to do is to talk about how we have personally experienced God — to tell our ‘soul story’.

You may think that your life story isn’t particularly dramatic or interesting but the reality is that each us also has a soul story to tell – a unique story about that part of us that connects with God.

Understanding my soul story

I only began to understand my own soul story when facing a cancer diagnosis. As my life ground to a halt under the onslaught of chemotherapy, I looked back over my 50 plus years and for the first time began to see how God had been at work. I recalled my early childhood belief in the unseen, my rebellion years, as well as my first tentative steps back to him, which were followed by a remarkable blossoming of faith in middle age. I remembered the giddy mountain-top moments as well as the sense of his presence in the challenging valleys and, for the first time, recognised how he had guided into my life through scripture, circumstances, encounters and a series of inexplicable synchronicities or God-incidences. As I looked back, I recognised that the seemingly random occurrences of my life were pregnant with meaning and that my own story was far more mysterious than I had ever imagined.

All too often it seems to take a crisis in our lives for us to look back like this, but doing so is so valuable as it helps us to see life as an adventure full of meaning and purpose. Aristotle once wrote that ‘Memory is the scribe of the soul’ and God wants us to understand our soul story because it is here that our narrative is woven with his own. When we look back we will also see how our relationship with God changes over time – whether we grew up in a Christian household or only came to know him later in life. Some of us may have had a Damascene conversion, while others may experience what St Paul called an anaikonosis, a gradual renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2). In early adulthood we may have questioned the teaching of the Church but later may have found a way to co-exist with some paradoxes of faith and been able to full mystery of God.

Sharing our soul stories

God also wants us to share our soul stories. Throughout the Bible, God’s people are encouraged to declare the works of the Lord. In an increasingly secular society it is even more important to speak of all that God has done for us.

When I was first ill, I kept on being given a passage from Psalm 118:17: ‘I will not die but declare the works of the Lord’. So when, against all odds, I survived I wrote an account of my unconventional faith journey called Sea Changed and went on to share my soul story with churches and Christian groups all around the country. I have also now written a guide to understanding and sharing your soul story. Soul’s Scribe draws on scripture, developmental psychology – to help people understand how God has been at work through the different stages of their life – and provides the kind of tools used by professional communicators to help people have the confidence to step out and tell their stories in a way that will inspire and encourage family, friends and others.

The power of your story

Last year, just as I was gearing up for the launch Soul’s Scribe, I was once again diagnosed with cancer. Everything was put on hold while I went through treatment but God has been good to me and I am once again in remission, Praise the Lord. 

While I went through 18 months of chemotherapy, bio-targeted treatments and surgery, I continued to share my experience of God through my blog Faith, Life and Cancer, the responses to which have only reinforced my belief in the key message of this book – that God wants us to understand and share our soul story.  

Your soul story may also include times of challenge and even doubt (the surest path to faith isn’t always a straight line) but this is what makes your soul story so powerful. Because your authentic experience of God can resonate with even those who might disagree with your theology. 

You don’t need to be a public speaker or an author (although I do offer an online course called Write Your Soul Story for anyone who wants to take the next step and to write an autobiography or memoir). You just need to be willing to step out in faith, and tell your tale and God will do the rest. 

Kate Nicholas is a preacher, author and broadcaster with over 30 years of experience as a national journalist and editor. She wrote her first book Sea Changed – an account of her unconventional journey of faith and healing – while being treated for cancer. She has gone on to share her message of hope through her books, blog Faith, Life and Cancer, and her TV series Living a Transformed Life on TBN. Her latest book Soul’s Scribe – a guide to understanding and sharing your soul story – is now available. For more information on Kate, her books and her online course Write Your Soul Story visit www.katenicholas.co.uk

He holds our tears in pain

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I know and trust Sarah Walton’s writing, as she has such integrity, living the truth of her words. I’ve also had the honour of her and her husband contributing to our book Grace-Filled Marriage. So I was delighted when she offered an edited extract of her new book, Tears and Tossings. It is longer than my usual posts, but well worth reading through. Sarah lives with chronic illness, as do her children and they have faced many other challenges as a family. Here, she focuses on finding hope within the pain.

I am no stranger to pain. As the years go by and chronic pain is a constant, I long for relief. This body often feels more like my enemy than my ally. Of all the difficulties and trials that I’ve faced, physical pain is often the most relentless and debilitating.

I’ll be the first to admit that physical pain can quickly bring us to the end of ourselves. At first, we may persevere with the hope and confidence that answers and healing are just around the corner, just waiting to resume life as normal. But when they aren’t, and we watch the life, abilities, and enjoyments we once had fade into the distance, disappointment, grief, despair, hopelessness, and bitterness can quickly seep into our veins. The questions are often not far behind: what did I do to deserve this? What purpose is there in a life consumed by pain? Is God punishing me for something? What hope do I have if this is the rest of my life?

There are certainly no simple answers or quick fixes, but over time, I’ve learned that there is hope to be found even in this place.

One true remedy

If you’ve dealt with any form of chronic pain or illness for very long, I’m sure you could share countless experiences of those who have shared dos and don’ts, treatments options, or bullet-proof solutions that healed their Uncle Bob or friend Judy. Although most people have good intentions, without fail those comments always come across as “you just haven’t done enough,” or “if you just do what I did, things will improve.” While we do need to be open and teachable to the wisdom and experiences of others, these solutions are never a guarantee and they always fall short of true comfort. There is only One who knows exactly what we need, when we need it, and how to provide it—God himself.

We can and should seek help when and where possible, but our hope can’t be in a doctor or treatment—because they’re never a guarantee. Our hope can’t be in “better days” ahead of us— because that may or may not come in our lifetime. And our hope can’t be in our own strength, resources, or wisdom—because we’re limited in our understanding and abilities.

But there is a remedy that never fails.

We can bring our pain to the One who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. And if he created us, certainly he wants what’s best for us.

Clay pots

It helps me to think of it this way: in the Bible, God is described as the Potter and we as the clay. The Bible tells us that God carefully and lovingly creates and shapes each of us into form, with unique looks, talents, personalities, and purposes. Whether we know it or not, we all belong to him, the Potter. But after God created the world and us, we rejected him and rebelled against his good plan for us. Since that day, the cracks of sin, pain, suffering, and weakness have entered our lives. We try to mend those cracks with anything we can find, but the defect still remains. 

I’ve experienced the cracks made by my sinful choices, but I’ve also felt the painful cracks of illness and suffering of various kinds, simply from living in this sinful world. I can try to ignore that the cracks are there, or do what I can to fix them, but the reality is that I’m the pot—I simply can’t fix myself. Instead, I need to humble myself, admit that I’m broken and cracked, and return to God, my Potter, to be restored as he intended me to be.

As painful and frustrating (perhaps even debilitating) as these cracks may be, we are not hopeless because we still have access to the One who created us and wants to heal us. That doesn’t mean he will remove the crack of pain in this life, but when we’re restored back to the Potter, he promises full healing will one day come. In the meantime, he also assures us that those cracks won’t be wasted and pointless.

There’s a man in the Bible named Paul, who experienced countless forms of pain. Even after all of his suffering, he confidently wrote, “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

Centuries ago, people would use clay pots for many daily purposes, but when a pot would break, they wouldn’t throw it away as we might. Strangely enough, they’d use it to hold their most treasured possessions. That way, if thieves broke in, they’d likely ignore the broken and seemingly useless pot, missing the treasure it held inside.

What we see as irreversible weakness and pain, and cracks that render us purposeless, God sees as an opportunity to fill us with his power and strength to shine through those cracks. He gives us not just the privilege of having Jesus’ strength in us, but the treasure of his presence to shine through us to others.

Practical care in our pain

There are days when even though I believe God loves me and will not waste this pain in my life, the pain screams louder. I admit, there have even been days when life felt too bleak to go on.

But in these moments, I’ve also seen how practical and close God is to me. He doesn’t tell me to toughen up and deal with it; he meets me in practical ways that show he cares about my pain—giving me what I need to endure it.

There have been seasons when I felt beaten down and discouraged, only to have someone show up at my door, unannounced, with a lavish dinner that made us feel spoiled. At a time when I felt isolated and convinced no one could see my pain, a friend called just to say they were thinking of me and asked if they could visit to see how I was. And there have even been times when I felt crippled by pain, unsure of how I was going to fulfill a commitment, but then was miraculously pain free for the exact amount of time I needed to accomplish it—with the pain returning shortly after. Then again, at other times, I’ve still felt the pain, but somehow had the strength to endure it—a strength that was beyond myself.

There’s no sugarcoating how life-altering chronic pain can be. And we should always use whatever means God gives us to improve our situation. But whether we find physical relief or not, this truth and hope about God’s compassion and provision remains the same.

We may have cracks running through our lives—even some that threaten to break us completely. But these cracks are not meant to destroy us and render us useless. Rather, they are meant to lead us to the One who created us and is the only One who can fully heal, restore, and provide for what we need.

Your painful cracks don’t have to have the last word. Bring them to the Potter. For that’s where you will find healing for eternity, and strength and rest for today.

Tears and Tossings is available now, published by 10ofthose. Sarah’s other books are Hope When it Hurts and Together Through the Storms.