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Where are you God?: Themes from The Stranger

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I am delighted to welcome Joy Margetts to my blog today, with a guest piece that looks at the themes of her latest book: The Stranger. Joy is a fantastic writer: do check out all of her books. She wrote about the themes in her first book, The Healing, and her journey to getting it published on my website back in 2021 so it is wonderful to welcome her here again.

I wonder if you have ever asked: Where are you God? If we are honest, we have all been in that place of not sensing God’s presence. Perhaps that has been combined with the other big question, ‘Why God?’

Life is not always easy. Bad things happen – loss, grief, trauma, pain and sickness are all real. Sometimes when we are in the middle of the worst experiences of our lives, when we really need to feel God’s closeness, to hear his comforting voice, to know his peace, suddenly he seems incredibly far away.

A lonely journey

The Stranger tackles those themes. At the beginning of the story we meet Brother Silas, a man broken by life’s circumstances. The great service for God that he had poured everything into lies in ashes at his feet. Once a man full of faith, now he feels God’s absence and questions everything. He runs – from his home, his vocation, his faith and from God. The journey Silas takes is a lonely one, but there are glimmers of hope along the way, as he meets people that he finds connection with, as he experiences miraculous happenings, and as he reunites with an old acquaintance. As his physical journey comes to an end, as one of my reviewers put it, Silas rediscovers that the faith he thought he had lost, he had never really lost at all.

Drawing on personal experience for The Stranger

As in all of my fiction, in writing The Stranger, I was writing from my own experience. There was a season in my own life where everything suddenly changed. A sudden illness became a chronic condition and it robbed me of many things: a ministry role that I was flourishing in, a job that I loved, the joy of travel and discovering new things, being the wife and parent I wanted to be. I couldn’t understand why God had allowed it, especially as it came at a time in my life when I was contented and looking forward to the future with excitement. I begged him for healing, believing wholeheartedly that he would answer me. My loved ones prayed with faith, too, but nothing changed. I started to question everything, and soon hopelessness and despair took over. God seemed a million miles away – if he were there at all.

I had been a follower of Jesus all of my life. I had seen God do miraculous things, change people’s lives radically. I had experienced sweet times of feeling his tangible closeness, heard his voice speak clearly and yet in the time when I needed him most, I could not find him. The temptation to run, from everything I had ever believed in, was real.

Finding hope again

I was able to write The Stranger recently, some years later, because actually it is a story of hope. I think there are many reasons why we can struggle to hear God or feel his closeness. Fear, doubt, disappointment, anger, sin – these things can all create a barrier between us and our Father. Has he really left us when we needed him most? I don’t believe so. He promises in his Word, ‘I will never leave you nor forsake you’ (Hebrews 13:5, NKJV). My testimony is that of course he had not abandoned me. I could not trust my feelings, or my understanding during that traumatic time. I had to choose to believe his promises.

Like Brother Silas, God brought people into my life to demonstrate that he was real, and that he cared about me. He spoke through his Word, and eventually I began to hear the sweet whisper of his voice again, as I repented for building a case against him. In hindsight, I can look back at so many times when God was obviously there. 

My healing still hasn’t come fully. I still have some of the same struggles, but my God is faithful. He loves me, and he will work all things together for my good (Romans 8:28). I don’t have to understand what that looks like, I just have to trust him, and enjoy being loved by him.

In The Stranger I portray human brokenness, but I also write with understanding about a God who never leaves his beloved children. Even when they try to run, he will pursue them, gently and persistently, until they finally find themselves fully back in his embrace.

Joy Margetts loves writing and loves the Word of God. A retired nurse, mother and grandmother, she also has a lifelong interest in history. Her works of Christian historical fiction are inspired by her own faith journey, and set among the beautiful Welsh landscapes of her adoptive homeland.

Her books are available on her website , The Stranger can also be bought direct from the publisher  and all are widely available elsewhere online and through good bookshops.

Christmas Voices

I am delighted to share my latest book with you: Christmas Voices. I can’t believe that I forgot to post about it here! It is a wonderful book filled with 25 reflections written by me, alongside contributions by 40 other ‘voices’. I do have some copies available, so do contact me directly if you live in the UK and would like to buy a copy from me (happy to sign it too). It is also available on the publisher’s website. Carry on reading for a sample of the reflections…

Day 2 Stretched by a promise

Genesis 12:1–4

The Lord had said to Abram, ‘Go from your country, your people and your father’s household to the land I will show you.

‘I will make you into a great nation,
and I will bless you;
I will make your name great,
and you will be a blessing.
I will bless those who bless you,
and whoever curses you I will curse;
and all peoples on earth
will be blessed through you.’

So Abram went, as the Lord had told him; and Lot went with him. Abram was seventy-five years old when he set out from Harran. 

God loves to speak to his people – and to give them promises. Noah, for example, was shown a rainbow as God promised never to send a flood again; Moses was given the promise that God would free his people from slavery in Egypt.

Often God’s promises make us uncomfortable, or necessitate action from us. Here, Abram was given an incredible promise – that he would become a great nation and that God would be behind him all the way – but he had to leave all he had known in order for that promise to take place. As we know, his faithfulness and hope in that promise was tested to the limit (and he made huge mistakes along the way), but God always provided – just perhaps not in the timeline Abram and those in his household wanted! Have you ever experienced that? A promise from God that you have had to cling on to and perhaps step out into in a way that is uncomfortable or slightly scary? The idea of the promises of God seem so appealing, but often the fulfilment of them stretches us in ways we couldn’t have imagined beforehand.

Too often the promise of our coming saviour is sanitised too…into a beautiful nativity scene. I am sure the reality was very different for his parents – tired and dirty, confused and disappointed that there was no room for them anywhere. Jesus was born into messy circumstances – physically but also politically and spiritually.

What reassures me is that God loves to involve us in the outworking of his promises, and he doesn’t disown us when we fail. It is incredible to think that Abram did indeed become Abraham and that through his line Jesus the messiah came. But day to day, Abram wouldn’t have seen the fulfilment of all that God had said to him, although he did receive the promised son and heir he longed for. He is mentioned in the ‘faith hall of fame’ in Hebrews 10, where it also says: ‘They did not receive the things promised; they only saw them and welcomed them from a distance…they were longing for a better country – a heavenly one.’

Let us not settle this Christmas season, but press on even when we feel uncomfortable.

Prayer: Lord I thank you that you give us promises; help me not to shrink when you are urging me to action or stretching me. Amen.

International Women’s Day 2023

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Happy International Women’s Day 2023! It actually seems sad to me that, in this day and age, we still need a day specifically focused on women to raise the issues so many continue to face. However I know that it is so important that we celebrate all the incredible achievements of women, but also highlight discrimination around the world. This year’s theme is #EmbraceEquity. Here is the explanation as to why (from the official website):

Equity isn’t just a nice-to-have, it’s a must-have.

A focus on gender equity needs to be part of every society’s DNA.

And it’s critical to understand the difference between equity and equality.

The aim of the IWD 2023 #EmbraceEquity campaign theme is to get the world talking about why equal opportunities aren’t enough. People start from different places, so true inclusion and belonging require equitable action.

It’s not an equal playing field

Just this week I was shocked to read new stats that reveal the gender gap on pensions. ‘The gender pensions gap is estimated to be more than twice the size of the gender pay gap, while women’s retirement wealth averages only one-third of men’s in the UK’ (Now: Pensions).

And there is so much more sobering news, both in this country and further afield. Gender-based violence, slavery, girls forced to marry young and give up their education, those trapped in poverty. The world can feel like a dangerous, horrible place for women – and it can seem utterly overwhelming and paralysing. If International Women’s Day puts these issues at the forefront of people’s minds afresh then I am all for it!

Do what you can

It is when I wonder what on earth I can do to make a difference that I turn to prayer. I cry out for those God puts on my heart. But we need to take action too. Some of us are being called to get involved in changing unjust systems; all of us can give support to those who are (giving, signing petitions etc). But I also want to bring this back round to what I often consider on International Women’s Day: who are the women I can encourage, champion and support? I am raising a hugely courageous daughter, and am so proud of her. I know it is my job to be there for her in whatever way she needs. But I can also offer my kindness, practical advice and listening ear to many other women in my life.

Championing others

We can all get so blinkered in the midst of busy and challenging lives. For International Women’s Day 2023 think about who you can come alongside and cheer on. I LOVE the cover of the current issue of Woman Alive. It shows a striking woman, but making up the background are images of the women who have had a huge impact on the contributors’ lives. My mum appears, which is wonderful as she would have been so excited to be a ‘cover girl’!

That image makes me think of all the women that are behind each individual woman, supporting and encouraging her to be all she can be.

Let’s be those who are quick to champion others, rather than competing or being jealous. There are so many ‘one another’ing verses in scripture: why not look at a few and think about how you can show love to the women in your life today?

I am going to practice what I preach now and champion a wonderful woman: Claudine Roberts. She has written an important work on Violence Against Women, which I was thrilled to edit. And she has a blog over on the Woman Alive website I’d love you to take a look at.

Books for Christian women this World Book Day

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Happy World Book Day! Over on the Woman Alive blog, myself and the Woman Alive book club members have put together a list of ‘10 books every Christian woman should add to her reading list this World Book Day’. I was inundated with brilliant suggestions, so decided to continue the celebration of books here. So please find another 10 books recommended by us!

A Grace Disguised by Jerry Sittser (Zondervan)

I first came across this book when my mum died in 2020. It is an honest account of a horrific car accident in which Jerry’s wife, mother and daughter died. He describes how he wrestled with his own grief as well as caring for his children but found a new spiritual depth as he did so. I found it profoundly helpful as did Elayne: “I read many books dealing with bereavement after my husband died suddenly, leaving me a widow aged 40 with three teenagers and this was the one I found most helpful.”

All Along You Were Blooming by Morgan Harper Nichols (Zondervan) 

Morgan is an artist, poet and musician, with a huge Instagram following. This collection of poetry and prose is beautifully presented. Amanda says the book is: “really helpful for anyone struggling with their mental health (or not), to only do what we can, to take one day at a time; to learn self-acceptance.”

Boundaries by Dr Henry Cloud and Dr John Townsend (Zondervan)

This New York Times bestseller teaches how to say no (and yes) and protect healthy boundaries while still upholding biblical principles. Lorraine says: “Boundaries changed my life; it was the first time I got validation, coming from a narcissistic home.”

Emotionally Healthy Spirituality by Peter Scazzero (Zondervan)

Peter asserts that you can’t be spiritually mature while remaining emotionally immature. Having learned this the hard way as a pastor, he encourages us all to take note of our emotional health and to integrate it with our spiritual health by slowing down and learning principles such as letting go of power and control, and breathing by practising Sabbath and rest. Laura explains: “Emotionally Healthy Spirituality is one of only a few books where I have sensed the Holy Spirit working within me as I read it. I was convicted of unhealthy areas of my mind / past and enabled to move forward in a closer relationship with Jesus.”

God Isn’t Finished With You Yet by Catherine Campbell (IVP)

In this book, Catherine retells biblical stories of those such as Abigail, John Mark and the Samaritan woman who had difficult lives and perhaps struggled to see God’s path for them. There are also ‘Life lessons’ sections, which provide key helpful biblical teaching around the theme of each story and reflection questions. Wendy comments that this helps us to “know God is here whatever our struggle”.

Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World by Joanna Weaver (Waterbrook)

This book has sold over a million copies. It was one of the first books that I read with my physical book club and we all found its gentle approach about a life of intimacy with God opened up a lot of conversations about striving, needing to learn to rest in him and not worry about what others think of us. Laura says: “I first read Having a Mary Heart in a Martha World when I was overwhelmed with juggling young children, work and ministries at church. It was very easy to read but very challenging in a gentle way and shepherded me back to a more intimate relationship with Jesus, offloading various burdens on the way.”

One Thousand Gifts by Ann Voskamp (Zondervan)

This book has sold more than one and a half million copies. It invites the reader on a journey of discovering God’s blessings in everyday life, of being present to God in all circumstances. Liza says: “One Thousand Gifts was given to me by a friend who said: ‘This could be life-changing.’ And she was right. It looks at how we can give thanks in the midst of suffering and open our eyes to all the ways God loves us. I was struggling in lots of areas and it made me see the goodness all around me.”

Reason for God by Tim Keller (Hodder & Stoughton)

Liz describes this book: “In 1 Peter 3:15 we are encouraged to be ready to give answers for the hope we have. In our culture today it’s more and more difficult to speak truth. The Reason for God by Tim Keller helps us to not only think about how we would form answers to difficult questions, but also speaks into the places where doubts linger in ourselves. It’s assuring, encouraging and motivating with rational arguments that address big questions like suffering, origins, the intersection of science and faith and how we can, as Christians, apply God-given reason to matters of faith. It’s also bursting with hope: this book doesn’t outline arguments in the dry and theoretical way of many theology tomes but helps readers connect good apologetics and the deep emotion of knowing and being known by the God who is the creator of the universe. It left me both more certain in my faith and thirsty for more of God.”

Surprised By Hope by NT Wright (SPCK)

Leading theologian Tom Wright outlines the present confusion about future hope in both the church and world, explains the bodily resurrection of Jesus and explores the biblical hope for the ‘new heavens and new earth’. He convincingly argues that what we believe about life after death directly affects what we believe about life before death. Fiona says it “Gave me a reason to remain a Christian when I was tempted to walk away. Gave me hope” and Amy comments: “Tom Wright has deepened my faith so much.”

The Power of a Praying Woman by Stormie Omartian (Harvest House Publishers)

Stormie has written a whole series of ‘The Power of a Praying…’ books, which have sold more than 28 million copies! This one is a bestseller, selling more than two million, and focuses on the fact that many of us can find it easier to pray for friends, family and church family but God wants us to talk about our own lives with him too. Stories, scriptures and prayers are included to encourage women of all ages to find hope and purpose in their everyday lives. Stormie’s books are a real provocation to turn to God in prayer in every situation and circumstance of life.

We know there are so many other books we could have included. Why don’t you let us know in the comments section below what would make it into your Top 10 for World Book Day? And if you’d like to join the Woman Alive book club please do – it is totally free to do so and we’d love to have you! You can get more information here.

Spiritual practices for this year

I had a wonderful time sharing at a local women’s group this last weekend. We looked at some of the spiritual practices that have helped me hold on to God during a particularly difficult few years. In this mini series, I am going to share some of that material with you. I hope and pray that there is something that you would like to try out in your own life.

Why spiritual practices?

I don’t know how your year has begun, but I have to say for my family and I it was nothing like we expected! My husband is the pastor of our church and, while we had a quiet Christmas, we had a busy weekend of New Year’s celebrations planned – a church party New Year’s Eve followed by a café-style church brunch service the following day. When I started feeling ill towards the end of the previous week I didn’t think too much of it – until I got really quite poorly. I was shocked when my Covid test was positive – I hadn’t had it at all up until that point.

So I spent the whole weekend and beyond isolating. When a new year comes round, many people – myself included – take the opportunity to look back over the previous year (although it took me a few extra days before I could get started on this), to thank God for all the good things and let go of the bad, and also resolve to go deeper with him in the next year. Perhaps Bible reading has become lax or there are other ways we haven’t done as well as we could – and we ask for his help to do better. But while Paul does talk about training like an athlete in 1 Corinthians 9 I think we can falsely believe we need to do certain things in order for God to love us. That’s just not right. If you know you can fall into that mindset, take a moment now to simply be in God’s presence, and be aware of his love for you.

I do think we’ve all been affected by the pandemic and January is a good time to refresh our spiritual lives anyway, in terms of what we do regularly to keep ourselves spiritually fit. It can sometimes feel like a new year stretches out before us, full of unknowns, but spiritual practises help to ground us, and draw us closer into God’s presence. I’d like to share about some perhaps lesser known (or at least lesser spotlighted) spiritual practices, which have held me during a period when I simply couldn’t do much more than get through each day.

Introducing lament

The Bible is full of lament, and it is an important way of processing difficulties. Lament simply means crying out to God, presenting our requests to him and sharing with him our pain and anguish.

Each one of us will face disappointments (such as being let down by those we love, hurt by the church), bereavement, negative circumstances that may be the result of our own sin or someone else’s. And many of us will face intense suffering, such as physical pain and/or mental ill health. 

Jesus himself said: “In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.” (John 16:33). So why do we find it so difficult to accept that? And why do we seem to be ill-equipped to deal with it in a healthy way? How do we take heart?

Life is hard – we do have the promise that one day: ‘He will wipe every tear from their eyes. There will be no more death or mourning or crying or pain’ (Rev 21:3-4) but, until then, God doesn’t expect us to hide our difficulties away. 

In fact he ensured that the songbook created for his people the Israelites contained plenty of examples of how to express the pain we feel in our difficulties. They actually sang laments together as a corporate body using these psalms. And we also have the books of Job and Lamentations.

Throughout the Bible we can see many examples of tears alongside prayers – including Jesus’ example in the Garden of Gethsemane – lament is very much a part of the biblical narrative. 

Our need to lament

God invites us to voice our struggles because he knows that if we don’t express our laments, we can become totally consumed and distracted by them – or ignore them, which can result in physical ailments as the emotional pain has no other way of being expressed and we are total, whole beings – our spiritual, physical, emotional beings all tied up and affecting one other.

I first connected with the psalms of lament in a time of intense pain and sin in my own life (which I talk about in my book Taking Off the Mask). When I read the words ‘My wounds fester and are loathsome because of my sinful folly. I am bowed down and brought very low; all day long I go about mourning…I am feeble and utterly crushed; I groan in anguish of heart’ (from Psalm 38:5–6,8) it was like the writer was describing exactly where I was at, and it helped me to reach out to God while I was in such turmoil.

Back then, it was a revelation of my own sinfulness and the resulting pain that caused me to lament. But in more recent years, it has been a cry from deep in my soul that has been almost unstoppable. It has become a way I have desperately tried to remain connected to God through circumstances that have threatened to engulf me or those I dearly love. Some days it can sometimes feel like all hope is lost – and yet lament is the bridge that helps me find my way back to God when he seems distant or hidden. Lament is, ultimately, hope-filled. It helps us to vocalise our determination that, despite circumstances that are totally bewildering, we refuse to turn away from our heavenly Father. We know he is good and has understanding way beyond ours. And so we can pour out our anguish and tears, alongside our praise, before him, knowing that he sees, hears, understands and is with us.

Next time we will look at how we can utilise psalms of lament in our everyday lives.

Soul story

Image by Gerd Altmann on Pixabay

I’ve had the pleasure of hosting Kate Nicholas on my blog twice before and am thrilled to welcome her back to describe how we each have a soul story to share, as she launches her book Soul’s Scribe.

How do you feel about talking about your walk with God? The idea of sharing our faith with others can certainly be quite daunting, particularly if we feel that we don’t know enough about the Bible or worry about being asked questions we just can’t answer. However, we don’t have to be theologians to witness convincingly. All we need to be able to do is to talk about how we have personally experienced God — to tell our ‘soul story’.

You may think that your life story isn’t particularly dramatic or interesting but the reality is that each us also has a soul story to tell – a unique story about that part of us that connects with God.

Understanding my soul story

I only began to understand my own soul story when facing a cancer diagnosis. As my life ground to a halt under the onslaught of chemotherapy, I looked back over my 50 plus years and for the first time began to see how God had been at work. I recalled my early childhood belief in the unseen, my rebellion years, as well as my first tentative steps back to him, which were followed by a remarkable blossoming of faith in middle age. I remembered the giddy mountain-top moments as well as the sense of his presence in the challenging valleys and, for the first time, recognised how he had guided into my life through scripture, circumstances, encounters and a series of inexplicable synchronicities or God-incidences. As I looked back, I recognised that the seemingly random occurrences of my life were pregnant with meaning and that my own story was far more mysterious than I had ever imagined.

All too often it seems to take a crisis in our lives for us to look back like this, but doing so is so valuable as it helps us to see life as an adventure full of meaning and purpose. Aristotle once wrote that ‘Memory is the scribe of the soul’ and God wants us to understand our soul story because it is here that our narrative is woven with his own. When we look back we will also see how our relationship with God changes over time – whether we grew up in a Christian household or only came to know him later in life. Some of us may have had a Damascene conversion, while others may experience what St Paul called an anaikonosis, a gradual renewing of the mind (Romans 12:2). In early adulthood we may have questioned the teaching of the Church but later may have found a way to co-exist with some paradoxes of faith and been able to full mystery of God.

Sharing our soul stories

God also wants us to share our soul stories. Throughout the Bible, God’s people are encouraged to declare the works of the Lord. In an increasingly secular society it is even more important to speak of all that God has done for us.

When I was first ill, I kept on being given a passage from Psalm 118:17: ‘I will not die but declare the works of the Lord’. So when, against all odds, I survived I wrote an account of my unconventional faith journey called Sea Changed and went on to share my soul story with churches and Christian groups all around the country. I have also now written a guide to understanding and sharing your soul story. Soul’s Scribe draws on scripture, developmental psychology – to help people understand how God has been at work through the different stages of their life – and provides the kind of tools used by professional communicators to help people have the confidence to step out and tell their stories in a way that will inspire and encourage family, friends and others.

The power of your story

Last year, just as I was gearing up for the launch Soul’s Scribe, I was once again diagnosed with cancer. Everything was put on hold while I went through treatment but God has been good to me and I am once again in remission, Praise the Lord. 

While I went through 18 months of chemotherapy, bio-targeted treatments and surgery, I continued to share my experience of God through my blog Faith, Life and Cancer, the responses to which have only reinforced my belief in the key message of this book – that God wants us to understand and share our soul story.  

Your soul story may also include times of challenge and even doubt (the surest path to faith isn’t always a straight line) but this is what makes your soul story so powerful. Because your authentic experience of God can resonate with even those who might disagree with your theology. 

You don’t need to be a public speaker or an author (although I do offer an online course called Write Your Soul Story for anyone who wants to take the next step and to write an autobiography or memoir). You just need to be willing to step out in faith, and tell your tale and God will do the rest. 

Kate Nicholas is a preacher, author and broadcaster with over 30 years of experience as a national journalist and editor. She wrote her first book Sea Changed – an account of her unconventional journey of faith and healing – while being treated for cancer. She has gone on to share her message of hope through her books, blog Faith, Life and Cancer, and her TV series Living a Transformed Life on TBN. Her latest book Soul’s Scribe – a guide to understanding and sharing your soul story – is now available. For more information on Kate, her books and her online course Write Your Soul Story visit www.katenicholas.co.uk

He holds our tears in pain

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I know and trust Sarah Walton’s writing, as she has such integrity, living the truth of her words. I’ve also had the honour of her and her husband contributing to our book Grace-Filled Marriage. So I was delighted when she offered an edited extract of her new book, Tears and Tossings. It is longer than my usual posts, but well worth reading through. Sarah lives with chronic illness, as do her children and they have faced many other challenges as a family. Here, she focuses on finding hope within the pain.

I am no stranger to pain. As the years go by and chronic pain is a constant, I long for relief. This body often feels more like my enemy than my ally. Of all the difficulties and trials that I’ve faced, physical pain is often the most relentless and debilitating.

I’ll be the first to admit that physical pain can quickly bring us to the end of ourselves. At first, we may persevere with the hope and confidence that answers and healing are just around the corner, just waiting to resume life as normal. But when they aren’t, and we watch the life, abilities, and enjoyments we once had fade into the distance, disappointment, grief, despair, hopelessness, and bitterness can quickly seep into our veins. The questions are often not far behind: what did I do to deserve this? What purpose is there in a life consumed by pain? Is God punishing me for something? What hope do I have if this is the rest of my life?

There are certainly no simple answers or quick fixes, but over time, I’ve learned that there is hope to be found even in this place.

One true remedy

If you’ve dealt with any form of chronic pain or illness for very long, I’m sure you could share countless experiences of those who have shared dos and don’ts, treatments options, or bullet-proof solutions that healed their Uncle Bob or friend Judy. Although most people have good intentions, without fail those comments always come across as “you just haven’t done enough,” or “if you just do what I did, things will improve.” While we do need to be open and teachable to the wisdom and experiences of others, these solutions are never a guarantee and they always fall short of true comfort. There is only One who knows exactly what we need, when we need it, and how to provide it—God himself.

We can and should seek help when and where possible, but our hope can’t be in a doctor or treatment—because they’re never a guarantee. Our hope can’t be in “better days” ahead of us— because that may or may not come in our lifetime. And our hope can’t be in our own strength, resources, or wisdom—because we’re limited in our understanding and abilities.

But there is a remedy that never fails.

We can bring our pain to the One who created us and knows us better than we know ourselves. And if he created us, certainly he wants what’s best for us.

Clay pots

It helps me to think of it this way: in the Bible, God is described as the Potter and we as the clay. The Bible tells us that God carefully and lovingly creates and shapes each of us into form, with unique looks, talents, personalities, and purposes. Whether we know it or not, we all belong to him, the Potter. But after God created the world and us, we rejected him and rebelled against his good plan for us. Since that day, the cracks of sin, pain, suffering, and weakness have entered our lives. We try to mend those cracks with anything we can find, but the defect still remains. 

I’ve experienced the cracks made by my sinful choices, but I’ve also felt the painful cracks of illness and suffering of various kinds, simply from living in this sinful world. I can try to ignore that the cracks are there, or do what I can to fix them, but the reality is that I’m the pot—I simply can’t fix myself. Instead, I need to humble myself, admit that I’m broken and cracked, and return to God, my Potter, to be restored as he intended me to be.

As painful and frustrating (perhaps even debilitating) as these cracks may be, we are not hopeless because we still have access to the One who created us and wants to heal us. That doesn’t mean he will remove the crack of pain in this life, but when we’re restored back to the Potter, he promises full healing will one day come. In the meantime, he also assures us that those cracks won’t be wasted and pointless.

There’s a man in the Bible named Paul, who experienced countless forms of pain. Even after all of his suffering, he confidently wrote, “We have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God and not from us. We are hard pressed on every side, but not crushed; perplexed, but not in despair; persecuted, but not abandoned; struck down, but not destroyed.” (2 Corinthians 4:7-9)

Centuries ago, people would use clay pots for many daily purposes, but when a pot would break, they wouldn’t throw it away as we might. Strangely enough, they’d use it to hold their most treasured possessions. That way, if thieves broke in, they’d likely ignore the broken and seemingly useless pot, missing the treasure it held inside.

What we see as irreversible weakness and pain, and cracks that render us purposeless, God sees as an opportunity to fill us with his power and strength to shine through those cracks. He gives us not just the privilege of having Jesus’ strength in us, but the treasure of his presence to shine through us to others.

Practical care in our pain

There are days when even though I believe God loves me and will not waste this pain in my life, the pain screams louder. I admit, there have even been days when life felt too bleak to go on.

But in these moments, I’ve also seen how practical and close God is to me. He doesn’t tell me to toughen up and deal with it; he meets me in practical ways that show he cares about my pain—giving me what I need to endure it.

There have been seasons when I felt beaten down and discouraged, only to have someone show up at my door, unannounced, with a lavish dinner that made us feel spoiled. At a time when I felt isolated and convinced no one could see my pain, a friend called just to say they were thinking of me and asked if they could visit to see how I was. And there have even been times when I felt crippled by pain, unsure of how I was going to fulfill a commitment, but then was miraculously pain free for the exact amount of time I needed to accomplish it—with the pain returning shortly after. Then again, at other times, I’ve still felt the pain, but somehow had the strength to endure it—a strength that was beyond myself.

There’s no sugarcoating how life-altering chronic pain can be. And we should always use whatever means God gives us to improve our situation. But whether we find physical relief or not, this truth and hope about God’s compassion and provision remains the same.

We may have cracks running through our lives—even some that threaten to break us completely. But these cracks are not meant to destroy us and render us useless. Rather, they are meant to lead us to the One who created us and is the only One who can fully heal, restore, and provide for what we need.

Your painful cracks don’t have to have the last word. Bring them to the Potter. For that’s where you will find healing for eternity, and strength and rest for today.

Tears and Tossings is available now, published by 10ofthose. Sarah’s other books are Hope When it Hurts and Together Through the Storms.

International Women’s Day

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This International Women’s Day, I have taken part in a blog by the Woman Alive team that focuses on the women who have inspired us. Here is my entry – you can read the rest of the post over on the Woman Alive website.

Drawing of my mum by my very talented daughter.

I want to honour the incredible woman my mum was, and the huge impact she had on my life. She, more than anyone, taught me about having resilience in my faith, about being open and honest about my wrestling but also to cling to God despite the questions. I have had two years without her now and still, every time I face a difficulty, my heart pangs as I long to speak to her – to get her wise take on the situation but also to enjoy her prayer support. Despite being isolated in her home, crippled with pain and fighting for every breath in her final years, she was a faithful prayer warrior.

Regarding her ongoing suffering, rather than asking “Why me?” she said “Why not me?” I hope I can continue her legacy of having a stubborn, strong, determined faith and being a loving, supportive, praying wife/mother/friend/colleague to those around me.

Let us not forget

I watched my mum struggle and suffer but never lose her dignity. I know there are many women in vastly different situations around the world today who are nevertheless doing exactly the same. While it shouldn’t take a day like International Women’s Day to prompt us, can I use this opportunity to urge us to remember them all each and every day. Let’s not stop fighting and praying for an end to the unjust suffering so many are experiencing.

Gratitude can completely shift your perspective

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

I was first challenged to cultivate gratitude by a friend leading a session in a mother/toddler group I attended when my son was younger. Struggling with postnatal depression at the time, I often awoke with a feeling of hopelessness. I decided to take up the challenge, although I wasn’t sure what difference it would make. However, having the goal of thanking God for the day as soon as I woke up did help to shift my perspective, even though it was difficult at times (and wasn’t a ‘magic cure’ for my depression).

The challenge also included thinking of five different things to be thankful to God for daily. I couldn’t always think of five, but didn’t get hung up on that. The practice helped me to remember to thank God and gave me much more of an awareness of his hand of grace in my life at I time when his presence often felt pushed out by the depression. 

Being intentional

As the years have passed, I haven’t kept up the practice religiously, but I do go back to it every so often. Back in 2017, for example, I realised that my attitude wasn’t as positive as it had been previously. I was busy writing a book, and was grateful for the time I’d had set aside to do so, but I was beginning to get anxious about the fact that I hadn’t had much paid work. The lack of income was definitely weighing heavy on my mind.

I found that taking the time to intentionally thank God for what he was doing in my everyday life shifted my focus off of the ‘what ifs’. As a result, I was more grateful, and generally more at peace. I look back now with great thankfulness for that period, as I had the time and space to write without distraction, and God supplied all our family’s needs too.

Gratitude is an anchor for our lives

Thankfulness has also been an anchor for me in the toughest of times, and so I have been encouraging my kids to choose daily gratitude too. Not only is gratitude a biblical concept, but science has discovered the wisdom behind it in recent years. Research has proven that if you write down at least three daily gratitudes for 21 days it rewires the brain and improves your overall mental wellbeing. One of them has been struggling in that area recently, so has made it a priority to say three things each night that they are grateful for. As I say goodnight, we discuss them and then pray, thanking God. 

This is a practice that is full of positives – why not give it a try?

Incorporating thankfulness into each day

  • On waking, thank God for your breath, for those close to you and for the chance to serve him for another day.
  • Before going to bed each night, write in a journal five reasons to thank God.
  • Just before switching off the light at bedtime, thank God for the way he has revealed his love and care to you.

If you would like a further thankfulness challenge, set an hourly alarm on your phone. Each time it goes offthank God for his presence, and for the fact that he is interested in every part of your life.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

This is part of a mini series on spiritual disciplines. Read about choosing a word for the year, and utilising the Daily Examen.

Exploring the Daily Examen

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The Daily Examen may sound intimidating but I have discovered that it is an amazing – and simple – way of connecting with God. Here I share how I first came across it and how I have come to value it.

Practising the Daily Examen allows you to evaluate your day, and God’s presence in it.

It was reading the Sensible Shoes fiction series that compelled me to try some spiritual disciplines for the first time. The series is written by Sharon Garlough Brown, and tells the story of four women who attend the same spiritual formation group at a retreat centre. Sharon is a spiritual director herself, and manages to weave into the women’s stories ways to connect with God deeply during everyday life. As the women are introduced to new spiritual practices by their course facilitator, so too is the reader as Sharon provides instructions for each one. It was in her books that I first discovered the Daily Examen.

The origins of the Examen

Ignatius of Loyola developed the Daily Examen in the 16th century. He believed it was a gift from God to be utilised twice daily (at noon and at the end of the day). It focuses on prayerfully reflecting on the day’s events to discern God’s presence and his will for our daily lives.

My experience with the Examen

As someone who usually sets aside time with God in the morning, it was interesting to switch to the end of the day, looking back over its events. I was particularly intrigued by a quote from the character and course leader Katharine: ’Pay attention to your strong reactions and feelings, both positive and negative. The Spirit speaks through both.’ I have certainly found that to be the case. While I don’t utilise the Examen every day, I have found it to be an enlightening and enriching experience.

Using the Daily Examen

It can be helpful to view the Examen as a way of sitting with Jesus and talking through what happened during the day. It is about slowing down to pay attention to the details of our lives, which we might otherwise overlook. Therefore, you might find it helpful to visualise snapshots of your day in your mind.

  1. Be still and become aware of God’s presence. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and begin looking back over the day. It can be helpful to clarify times of being particularly aware of his presence. Were there any times when he seemed absent?
  2. Review the day with gratitude. Thank God for any of the special gifts he provided, looking out for the smallest details such as interactions with friends, food, nature.
  3. Pay attention to your emotions. We can detect the presence of God in our emotions, so it can be helpful to think about when you felt most alive and energised, and when we felt drained or anxious. Where there times when you resisted God? Why? God may bring to mind things that need confession, and, once you have done that, you can receive his grace and forgiveness.
  4. Concentrate on one feature of the day. There may be something that seems to be particularly highlighted – perhaps because God wants to teach you something. It could be positive or negative; the important thing is to stay with it, and pray as God leads.
  5. Look forward to tomorrow. You can take the lessons from one day into the next, bearing in mind how you have responded and worked with the Holy Spirit today. If there are any challenges you know you will face tomorrow, prayerfully bring them before God before asking for hope and a sense of his love.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

This is part of a mini series on spiritual disciplines. To read about choosing a word for the year, click here.