Tag: encouragement

Balance for better

#BalanceforBetter is the theme for International Women’s Day, but is a year-long campaign, not just for today. I knew I wanted to mark and celebrate IWD, but, having written about it most years, I wasn’t really sure what angle to take. That is, until a good friend of mind commented on the following scripture (which she read within my YouVersion Bible study – shameless plug there! 🙂 ):

God has placed the parts in the body, every one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be?  As it is, there are many parts, but one body. The eye cannot say to the hand, ‘I don’t need you!’ And the head cannot say to the feet, ‘I don’t need you!’
(1 Corinthians 12:18-21 – but do read vv12-27 if you have time!)

It is so important that we accept, love, encourage, support, challenge and champion one another. There is absolutely no room in God’s family for us to turn to someone and say ‘I don’t need you’, whether on the basis of gender, race, age or any other reason. The Church needs to be leading the way in showing how, as the IWD campaign puts it: ‘Everyone has a part to play – all the time, everywhere.’

Now, as today is International Women’s Day, I want to take the time to give a shout out to some of the women who have stood by me, shaped me, helped make me who I am today – and who continue to challenge and spur me on. But, in the spirit of this year’s theme, I’m also going to include some of the men that have had a big impact on my life too:

My mum: I know I’ve shared before that she has taught me the most about resilient faith. These last few years have been so unexpected, and so so hard, as she continues to battle for every breath. It is amazing to see her faith remain as strong as ever even though she gets weaker and weaker.

My husband: he really is the solid, steadfast anchor of our family. We have been through a lot, but I have watched him grow and develop into the wonderful father and church leader that he is today. And he really champions me, even though what I’ve feel led to do in recent years has necessitated him being more vulnerable than he was comfortable being.

My sister: the last few years have been so incredibly painful and difficult for her, but she has dug deep and shown a strength I have rarely seen. It has been such a privilege to walk more closely alongside her – and to enjoy the delightful results of her incredible cooking too!

My dad: he has shown such generous and selfless love right back from the day he chose to take on us two little girls when he married my mum. Today, more than ever, he is pouring himself out selflessly caring for my mum 24/7. The tenderness in their relationship is so tangible – and beautiful – now.

John: this is the guy who encouraged me to pursue joining a worship band, and who spent hours helping me to build my confidence. He was also the one person who said ‘there but for the grace of God go I’ when I made a huge mistake that impacted so many of us. He is an all-round incredible musician, but also wise, generous and humble guy – that I don’t see often enough now!

Accountability friends: we have been through so much over the years – cried many tears and laughed until we cried too. Thank you for always being there – and for fighting for depth in our friendships, even when it has been such a raw and painful process. You really are people I couldn’t do life without.

Book study group: it is such a delight to be a part of this group. Thank you for persevering through those awkward moments, as we learned to build trust. And thank you for your honesty and vulnerability. Shared stories really do break shame and bring freedom – and I love the way you support one another in being more open.

Fellow writers: thank you for your support, especially through the ACW Facebook page. I love the way we interact (including the banter) and really appreciate those of you who have particularly taken the time to help and encourage me personally (such as Wendy, Amy, Jennie, Fiona, Claire, Philip, Cathy, Sheridan, Jo and many, many others).

Anna and the kingdom ambition WhatsApp group: for years I had longed for a group of women leaders to share more deeply with. Thank you Anna for listening to that nudge from God and inviting me to join your group. And thank you all for the way you share and interact with one another, speaking truth and bringing love through your messages. I don’t know you that well yet, but already I feel a connection with you.

I know I have missed many amazing people who have shaped my life and been a huge support, but I need to stop before this becomes a book rather than a blog post! Can I just encourage you, this International Women’s Day, to thank the women – and the men – who have championed you, and brought better balance to your life. And also think about how you can bring better balance in the spheres of influence that you have.

Encouraging each other

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‘Let’s keep a firm grip on the promises that keep us going. He always keeps his word. Let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out, not avoiding worshiping together as some do but spurring each other on.’ (The Message)

Reflections based on Hebrews 10:19–39.

This is the final blog in our series on encouragement, so let’s remind ourselves that God calls us to journey together in order to encourage each other in our walk with God – to keep going even when it gets tough. The examples in this passage are pretty extreme aren’t they – friends being thrown in prison and enemies seizing belongings – and yet the believers all stuck together through the hard times as well as the easier ones.

I love the way that The Message version of this passage of Hebrews does some encouraging of its own in the language used: ‘let’s see how inventive we can be in encouraging love and helping out’. It just speaks to me of God’s creativity – that there are so many new and inventive ways we can find to be encouraging to one another. That’s the challenge I’d like to leave you with, along with the prayer found in 2 Thessalonians 2: 16–17: ‘May our Lord Jesus Christ himself and God our Father, who loved us and by his grace gave us eternal encouragement and good hope, encourage your hearts and strengthen you in every good deed and word.’

I do pray that you will have gained encouragement from this series on encouragement, and have experienced in an even deeper way how God strengthens us through the work of his Son and the Holy Spirit, in order that we may be strong in our faith and reach out to those around us. Let us be those that, like David and Paul, continue to find our encouragement in God and champion those he has brought into our lives, helping them to do the same.

Prayer: Thank You Lord that You are the Source of all encouragement. Help me to draw on You even more deeply. You also set us in families and churches so that we can build one another up – help me to champion those around me.

Choose to speak and act positively

 

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‘For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit … Let us therefore make every effort to do what leads to peace and to mutual edification.’

Reflections based on Romans 14:1–23.

When you act and speak, you make a series of (often subconscious) choices. This passage encourages us not to make ourselves a stumbling block to those who think differently to us (or are perhaps ‘weaker’ in their faith). Paul was referencing some of the inevitable disputes that occurred in the Early Church. Some believers, for example, felt free to eat anything whereas others did not want to unknowingly sin so ate only vegetables. They were possibly worried that they could unknowingly eat meat sacrificed to idols, as often the sacrifices were only partially burned and the rest of the meat was sent to market to be sold. While some believers knew idols were worthless and unreal anyway so were free from any sense of guilt, others (possibly those who had previously been idol worshippers) found it unhelpful. What I think we can learn from this is not to be judgemental or critical but rather to be aware that what we do and say affects those around us, and we should seek always to build people up.

Church is also the last place this should happen, but it can also be full of comparison. Try and keep a check on any subtle criticisms you may engage in as they are so unhelpful.

Of course we need to be honest – life is full of problems and as Christians we aren’t immune to them. And yet, if we aren’t careful, all we see are the problems. Even when we think we are empathising with someone, we can have a tendency to join in with negativity rather than lifting the conversation to more positive words of hope and encouragement. Proverbs 10:11 reminds us that ‘the mouth of the righteous is a fountain of life’, so let’s use ours in that way.

Prayer: Lord help me not to be a stumbling block to anyone around me, but to be one that encourages and builds up. Teach me to keep a check on the words I say and the actions I take.

Words that bring life

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‘But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions—it is by grace you have been saved.’

Reflections based on Ephesians 2:1–22.

We have been focusing on the power of our words, and how we can give encouragement through them. Encouragements can simply be words of thanks when something goes well or when somebody’s actions were a real blessing to you. But, actually, the greatest words of encouragement that we can not only receive but give to others are the truths about our identity in Christ. A quick word to someone who is having a bad day, reminding them that they are God’s child, loved and accepted and full of His Spirit, can do wonders to affirm them.

I think it is important that we remind ourselves regularly of who we are in Christ too. That is why I picked out this passage in Ephesians. It is stuffed full of truth about what our identity is now that we are in Him. I’m going to quickly highlight some of them for you: we were once dead in our sin but we are now alive. God has seated us next to Jesus. We have this gift through grace – we don’t deserve it nor is it because of anything that we have done or need to do. We were once far away but are now near God. Jesus is our peace. We are now citizens of heaven and members of God’s household, part of His body in which the Holy Spirit dwells.

Isn’t that all amazing?!

To top it all off, the previous chapter of Ephesians reminds us that we are not just part of God’s household, but we are children of God: ‘In love he predestined us for adoption to sonship through Jesus Christ, in accordance with his pleasure and will’ (v5). I don’t know about you, but soaking in those truths really lifts my spirit!

Prayer: Lord I thank You so much for the new life that I have in Jesus; for the standing and authority that You have lavished upon me because of Him. I stand in amazement before You today.

 

 

The power of the tongue

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‘the tongue is a small part of the body, but it makes great boasts. Consider what a great forest is set on fire by a small spark. The tongue also is a fire.’

Reflections based on James 3:3–12.

Firstly, apologies that this is a day later than usual. Yesterday I had the enormous pleasure of co-presenting a seminar with a counsellor I have co-authored three books with (the Insight Guides described on my writing page). It was a busy day, but hugely rewarding.

Let’s get stuck into the next instalment of our study on encouragement. Last time, we looked at how important it is to have those that spur us on. One of the obvious ways in which we can give encouragement is through what we say. But how often do we actively think about the ratio of positive and negative words that come out of our mouths? So often we can speak without thinking (I know I do!) and yet today’s passage reminds us about the power our words hold.

James uses incredibly vivid imagery, comparing the tongue to the rudder on a ship or the small spark of fire that destroys a forest. It might be a tiny part of our bodies, but it truly can control us. He ends with a challenge: our mouths should not be bringing forth both praise to God and negativity towards others.

We could feel condemned after reading what James has to say, and yet surely all of us can think of someone who is constantly negative and cutting – and what a terrible atmosphere they create in a room. We have a choice about what comes out of mouths. Yes the tongue is a powerful instrument but Proverbs 18:21 reminds us that it ‘has the power of life and death’. So not only can the words we say destroy a person, they can also build them up.

How important it is to use the tongue to speak out encouragement! We can assume that someone is doing so well at something that they don’t need our positive words. And yet RT Kendall talks in his book Your Words have Power about the fact that he still needs affirming each time he preaches – and he experienced first-hand the fact that the great preacher Martyn Lloyd-Jones needed it too! It is a universal truth that we all thrive under encouragement.

Challenge: If, like me, you find giving words of encouragement doesn’t come naturally to you, spend some time practicing today. Choose a couple of people and speak something encouraging to them.

Be each other’s fan club!

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‘Do not let any unwholesome talk come out of your mouths, but only what is helpful for building others up according to their needs, that it may benefit those who listen.’

Reflections based on Ephesians 4:1–29.

This chapter in Paul’s letter to the Ephesians is focused on unity, and every believer playing the part that God has called them to. It follows on from our last devotional reading about putting off the old self and living in the way of the Spirit. It is interesting that verse 29 zeros in on our speech and how we should use it intentionally for the building up of those around us. We certainly need the encouragement of one another – perhaps more so than at any other time in history. There are more people suffering from depression than ever before – 85,000 deaths worldwide occur each year due to depression. We each desperately need people who are rooting for us.

Dr Gary Chapman, renowned marriage counsellor and the author of the bestselling The Five Love Languages, recognises how much difference it makes in a person’s life. Indeed, in his book The Family You’ve Always Wanted he says, ‘‘From the smallest child to the oldest adult, when our fan club applauds us, we try harder.’

We do have a responsibility to live as children of God, not by our old sinful nature. We don’t have to strive to do it in our own strength, though, as we have the Holy Spirit’s help. This chapter reminds us that we are grafted into God’s family too, with his Son at the head. Verse 16 says that, ‘From him the whole body, joined and held together by every supporting ligament, grows and builds itself up in love…’ Note the imagery: we each make up a part of the supporting framework of the body. We need one another’s support and encouragement. We are not meant to journey in this life alone, but alongside others who will spur us on to be the best we can be.

Reflection: Do you have those in your life that encourage you? If so, find a way to thank them today. If not, ask God to bring encouragers into your life. Look out for ways you can encourage others today too.

Becoming an encourager

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‘For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.’

Reflections based on Romans 8:1–30.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. Traditionally, it is a time to soberly reflect on our frailty and sinfulness. I come from an evangelical background, so haven’t often been involved with particular set days in the Church calendar. However, I am learning more and more how certain traditions can enrich my faith. I love the fact that, on Ash Wednesday, there is a sense in which we can be honest about our need for repentance collectively. We don’t need to pretend.

I think this fits well with our current weekly devotional on encouragement. Today’s blog is about becoming an encourager, but I sense that many of us can struggle with that idea. If you do, be encouraged that you are not alone! There can be various reasons for this, and today try to be honest with yourself about why that is the case for you.

Some of us can have a natural tendency to be worriers, or to be quite negative. Others can be pretty insecure and so we find it difficult to lift our heads above our problems. It is so easy to accept these natural tendencies, saying to ourselves that it is simply the way we were born. However, although we can acknowledge where we are at today, we can also remember that Lent is a time for reflection – and of looking forward to what Jesus did for us on the cross. Let’s be honest if we struggle with being encouraging – but remind ourselves that God is the ultimate encourager.

Today’s scripture is full of great truth for any of us struggling with the concept of encouragement too. Firstly, there is no longer any condemnation for us (v1), so we don’t need to take on negative thinking about how badly we’ve given or received encouragement in the past. It also says we are set free in Christ; in fact the Holy Spirit reminds us that we are now children of God. We no longer have to live by our sinful nature.

I know that trying to put off your old nature and put on the new in your own strength can be frustrating and somewhat impossible, but the good news is we have the Holy Spirit’s help. With His help, we CAN change. Those of us who tend to be negative and critical CAN be encouraging and positive. Those who allow our thoughts to spiral downwards and end up being somewhat self-absorbed in the midst of difficulties CAN lift our heads and receive comfort and help from the Father. Our passage for today also includes the amazing promise that God is working for our good in all things (v28). What an encouragement to cling to!

Prayer: Lord I am sorry for the times when I seem to be more at home with my old nature. On this Ash Wednesday, I ask You to help me to set it aside and learn how to be an encourager. Give me opportunities to encourage others – and then be encouraged myself when I have done so. Amen.

 

Encouraging yourself in God

 

Reflections based on 1 Samuel 30.

‘David was greatly distressed because the men were talking of stoning him; each one was bitter in spirit because of his sons and daughters. But David found strength in the Lord his God.’

Encouragement gives us fresh hope, as well as the courage to carry on. David is a great biblical character to show us how to find encouragement in God. At this point in his story (covered by chapters 27, 29 and 30), he had decided to escape King Saul’s pursuit of him and went to live within the Philistines’ land. He ended up serving a Philistine king, which must have been bizarre for them all (as he had previously killed the Philistine giant Goliath)! Indeed, not all of the king’s men accept him and eventually David and his men are sent back to Ziklag, where their wives and children were. While they had been away, Amalekites had raided and taken their women and children captive.

At this point, David’s men begin to turn on him. What was David’s response? He didn’t despair, run or try to plead with them; we are told he ‘found strength in the Lord’ and then asked for the ephod so he could ask God what to do. How did he encourage himself in God? It isn’t spelt out in scripture but, given what is revealed about him in the psalms he penned, I think he probably brought to mind past examples of God’s faithfulness and stood firm on God’s promises. A look through psalms 34–41, for example, shows that David wasn’t afraid to be honest about his circumstances and emotions, and yet he always turned to praise, reminding himself how trustworthy and faithful God is. I love the tone of Psalm 37 – it is as if David is revealing what he has learned over the years: ‘I was young and now I am old, yet I have never seen the righteous forsaken’ (v25). In other psalms he tells his downcast soul to look to God. I think we can learn a lot about how to encourage ourselves through reading the psalms he penned.

Meditation: Spend some time thinking about ways that you can encourage yourself in God today.

The ultimate encourager

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Reflections based on John 14:15–29.

‘the Advocate, the Holy Spirit, whom the Father will send in my name, will teach you all things and will remind you of everything I have said to you. Peace I leave with you; my peace I give you.’

As we saw last time, it is vital to remember that God is the one who offers us comfort and encouragement. Psalm 10:17 says: ‘You hear, O Lord, the desire of the afflicted; you encourage them, and you listen to their cry’. I can’t imagine how the disciples must have been feeling during this, their final meal shared with Jesus, but I think I would probably have been feeling pretty lost when He explained that He would soon be leaving. However, Jesus reveals that it is actually better for Him to go in order that the ultimate paraclete (comforter, encourager, helper) could be sent to dwell with believers for all time (indeed earlier in the chapter Jesus said that anyone who believes in Him would do greater things than Him because He was going to the Father (v12)!).

It is an amazing truth that the Holy Spirit is the promised comforter who reveals the truth of God to our hearts and encourages us from within, even in the midst of difficulties. In this passage Jesus unveils the wonderful mystery of what life as a believer truly means: the Holy Spirit lives within us, so is with us constantly, Jesus is in the Father, we are in Jesus and Jesus, by His Spirit, is within us. Just spending time focusing on the truths contained in His words can really encourage our spirits! If we are honest, there are times when we all feel alone, lost, despairing. And yet, we have the reminder here that the Spirit of Jesus dwells within us and His specific reason for being there is to be that advisor, reminder of God’s words, to provide us with peace and to be our ultimate encourager.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, how amazing it is to have Your constant encouragement coming from within. Help me to be attentive to Your whisperings.

Encouraged in order to encourage

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Reflections based on 2 Corinthians 1:1–11.

‘Praise be to the God and Father of our Lord Jesus Christ, the Father of compassion and the God of all comfort, who comforts us in all our troubles, so that we can comfort those in any trouble with the comfort we ourselves receive from God.’

I believe this passage provides an immensely helpful, rounded picture of the role of encouragement in our lives. Paul begins his letter by offering praise to the ‘God of all comfort’. The word comfort comes from the Greek paraklēseōs, which means providing aid, including encouragement.

Paul explains that, just as our suffering can sometimes be because of our faith, so our comfort comes from the Source of that faith too. He explains that both he and his companions have suffered greatly, and yet it has taught them how to rely on God alone for their hope. I think that’s a lesson that we can continue to learn throughout our lives. I can be exceedingly quick to get into self-sufficiency mode when faced with pressures and difficulties. Leaning on God can sometimes only happen once I’ve exhausted my own resources, which is not how God intends us to live.

This latest season in my life has included some fairly big difficulties, which threatened to floor me, but I’ve really experienced God’s care and comfort. And, already, just sharing with others has opened up that sense of encouragement and support – not only for myself but I have been able to offer it too. That is how God wants us to live: coming to Him for our encouragement and then reaching out to those around us. When we allow Him to fashion and mould us through our difficulties we can reach out to others that we find come across our paths at a later date who are going through a similar thing. Just being able to shout encouragement from the sidelines, revealing that we’ve been able to get through to the other side of something they are struggling with is such a gift – both for the recipient and the one who gives the support.

Prayer: Have you considered the cycle of encouragement before today? Thank God that He ministers His comfort to us and gives us opportunities to give out what we receive to others.