As a nation we have begun the journey out of lockdown and, hopefully, that will continue over the next month or so. There has been such a sense of anticipation, and quite a lot of excitement. People have enjoyed being able to meet up with others outside, and even enjoy a meal outside. However, it is so important to go gently.

THE IMPACT OF THE LAST YEAR

What we have been through during this pandemic has been huge – even if, like me, it hasn’t actually affected your day-to-day life as much as it has for others. As someone who already worked from home, my work didn’t really change. However, there was a lot more of it and I was interacting with others working from their homes rather than office spaces.

Even so, I am very aware of the emotional toll this year has taken on me. Feelings of overwhelm seem to strike regularly. Having researched and written articles on the emotional cost of lockdown, as well as having spoken to many others feeling similarly, it does seem that there has been a far-reaching effect that we are going to continue to experience the impact of for years to come. So again, please do go gently.

STRENGTHENED OR STRETCHED?

For those of us that are married – as well as those living with others – our closest relationship(s) will also have been impacted. Encouragingly, recent surveys suggest that many marriages have come out stronger. Couples have recognised the pressure and made a conscious decision to invest in the relationship and support one another well. But for others, the added stress of being with one another 24/7 has put a spotlight on underlying issues. If that is you, can I encourage you to go gently – but not to ignore what has come to light. Talk to one another, try and take positive steps to resolve conflicts – and pull in trusted friends if necessary.

And for all of us, let’s not rush to try and put this incredibly difficult year behind us. If we bury the hard emotions they will simply resurface in weeks, months or even years to come – and not in a good way. 

Go gently… on each other if you notice you have shorter fuses than usual

Go gently… if you notice one of you is feeling overwhelmed and you aren’t sure why

Go gently… if one of you is itching to begin socialising again and the other is reticent. Take time to talk it through – and go at a pace agreed by you both. 

There are many other scenarios I could have picked – but I hope you have the message by now. Please go gently, and take care of yourself and those closest to you.

NB If you feel you would like some additional resources for your marriage, our book Grace-Filled Marriage is publishing in just over a week – we’d love for you to take a look.