Tag: life as a disciple

Truly ‘together on a mission’

This is the first time I’ve had a chance to sit down and reflect on what I learned at the Newfrontiers Together on a Mission conference last week (the reason for that will, in part, be the subject of another blog soon!) It truly was a privilege to be at the bulk of what was the last international conference of its kind. Right from the start there was a sense of expectancy, and God had specific things to say to us as a movement that came through time and time again, through various different speakers.

I always feel so blessed at these events because it reminds me of the wider Newfrontiers family we are part of. I am always struck by the humility of the leaders and speakers, particularly Terry. Indeed that was the main reason we were first attracted to Newfrontiers. And it is great to see how other guys have come through into maturity and authority and are now heading up works within the various continents, but there is still a sense of family across the board. I loved the mixture of both honouring our roots, and founders, but also pressing forward to take new ground.

I was both caught up with and slightly apprehensive of the way that we seemed to hit the ground running. Words came thick and fast about being courageous and having courage as a leader. The natural worrier in me started to wonder what is coming Lord?! But it is so true that as a movement the ‘boys have become men’ and I also felt that challenge me personally. Yes we have stepped up into leadership roles, and my husband has proved he is capable of pastoring the church. I am mentoring and meeting with various younger women… AND YET. Life is going at such a pace am I taking the time to feed myself spiritually? Am I looking after myself and allowing God to speak to me clearly and have that vital input in my life enough? He graciously seems to speak through me when I am ministering to people, but I wonder how much more effective I could be if I carved out a bit more just me and him time…

We were travelling up and down to Brighton each day so usually left at the end of the afternoon session – it meant we could see the kids before bedtime and not get overtired ourselves. But when we heard PJ was to speak on the wed eve we decided to say. And what a great decision that was! I have said in a previous entry that the whole issue of healing is one I can struggle with because of the way my mum suffers, but he gave one of the clearest messages I’ve ever heard on suffering, sickness and healing. Where does sickness come from and where does healing come from were two of the questions he pondered during his own battle in the last year. And God gave him great revelation. Hearing the simplicity with which he explained the relationship between the atonement and healing was refreshing. His talk gave me fresh vision and hope and went some way to lift off the frustration I can often feel when people look at my mum and make a judgement call as to why she hasn’t been healed yet. Definitely a recommendation I have already made to my mum to listen to!

There is so much more I could talk about here but I think there will be plenty more future posts as I manage to grab odd moments to dwell upon my notes.

What family is all about…

I reached yesterday evening tired but happy. It had been a wonderfully enriching day, full of worship, fun and friendship. To be honest, I wasn’t sure how I would feel. As is my usual tendency, when discussing the fact that there were four of us in the church with birthdays the same week, I opened my mouth and suggested hosting a bbq at our house after church with very little thought. Once the idea had been seized upon gladly by others, and I was in the throws of organising food and chasing people up to find out if they were coming and what they could bring, I was beginning to regret my good idea! I knew it would be a mad rush after church too – we were leading worship and my husband was anchoring the meeting so we had a lot on. We are usually the last to leave the building anyway. So I started panicking about how I was going to get it all done. But then I started asking people for help – and discovered that there are many able and willing people out there with such a heart to help. I arrived at church feeling that things were now manageable, and the frustrations of the week faded away as soon as we started worshipping together. God came in a powerful way, our visiting speaker really challenged us and we all felt it had been a significant time.

As soon as the service was over my organising instincts kicked in and I scurried around like a mad person! Friends kindly brought me home and helped light the bbq in next door’s garden (they are also in the church, and it was his birthday too). Some arrived quickly and suddenly all the salads I was down to make were done as they set to work on them. They helped throughout the day. Others arrived with more tasty contributions and suitably summery liquid refreshments. As all the kids played happily in the garden, people popped in and out the gate in our fence that leads through to next door’s garden and others chatted in our garden I took a step back to admire the scene. I realised that this is what family is all about – those of us who feel we have a gift of hospitality opening our homes, but everyone contributing and enjoying spending time together. We had a wonderful afternoon. And I was truly blessed by those who stayed behind and cleared up with us too. My son helped me as well by slowing me down at just the right moment – I had hardly seen him all afternoon and he had been so busy playing he hadn’t had a nap. It was reaching 5pm and he was shattered. He simply came to find me in the kitchen and said ‘mummy sleep, cuddle on sofa’. I took one look at him and, encouraged by the others around me, scooped him up and sat in the lounge with him curled up on me. There he stayed for an hour – the friends who had worked so hard next to me taking a break and chatting with me too. As soon as we sat down, others arrived in the kitchen to continue the tidying. What a great church we belong to! 😉

Feeding the clown while half asleep…

I had a really fulfilling day yesterday. Absolutely manic but I felt I achieved a lot and got on top of loads of things that had been hanging over me. As well as looking after my son I cleaned the whole house from top to bottom, worked on some articles, came up with some more article ideas, did a load of ironing, cooked a nice meal for me and hubby after the kids were tucked up in bed and even managed to watch a film with him too as it was our only night off this week. I went to bed exhausted but happy. I had just snuggled down into the covers, just got myself into that half asleep state, when in padded our little boy saying the rain had woken him up. I got up, told him the rain wasn’t scary, put him back into bed, tucked him in, kissed him good night and prayed with him then left his room while saying there was no need to get back up again till morning. This little routine happened about 8 times over the next 21/2 hours – then he finally fell asleep… only to appear again at 4am. This time I was so exhausted I couldn’t even bring myself to get back up and let him crawl in with us. I never normally do that – and it was a bad decision because then I only got fitful snoozes after that. As our daughter ran in at 7am all bright and cheerful my heart sank, as I knew I was helping at the school fayre all day and really needed to be livelier than I was feeling! I know there are so many other parents out there that have to cope with this lack of sleep on a regular basis. For me, it is one of the hardest things about parenting. It’s at such times, when something out of the ordinary happens, that I realise that the pace I live my life at is only just about do-able. I did really enjoy helping out at the fayre on the ‘feed the clown’ stall but I felt incredibly sick. As soon as we got home both me and my son crashed out on our bed for a couple of hours – actually quite nice but not a luxury I can afford most days. I asked my husband to help me make sure we both go to bed early each night this week – as it was getting later and later and now I’m just past exhaustion. I know I was talking about spiritual spring cleaning the other day – but we also have a responsibility to look after our bodies too – and this one is just plain tired…

Appreciating one another

2 Comments

Many of the thoughts that get me delving more deeply into my brain to ponder an issue occur when I’m doing something mundane. I guess that’s just a reflection of my life as a mum! I was busy dishing up dinner the other night when it suddenly dawned on me that I had probably already prepared, cooked and served up hundreds – if not thousands – of dishes since getting married and that there is no end in sight! We will have been married 18 years in August, our eldest will turn 6 in September, but I will still be clocking up the amount of meals I’ve prepared for us well after the time my husband and I retire! I started to get the hump – started to think about how many jobs a mother – and wife – does that go on behind the scenes, unnoticed. But then something in my spirit stopped me. And I started remembering all the times when my husband had sacrificially given of his time and I’d taken it for granted. And the times when my kids may have done something I’d been trying to teach them to do for ages and they suddenly ‘got it’ – but in my weary state I didn’t seem to praise or encourage them that much. I then started thinking about all the people there are in our church. A church doesn’t function without the help of its members and I wondered how often I’d thanked the welcome team for putting out the chairs faithfully each week for example. And, as I head up the worship team with my husband, I started thinking about all the musicians we are responsible for. How often do I take the time to check how each one of them is? I know I make sure to thank each one that plays alongside me on a particular Sunday, but what about all the other times when I’m not leading – do I still make time to show my appreciation? I know that it would seem forced to thank everyone every week, but I did get stopped in my tracks and just believe it is worth each one of us thinking about this. Do we truly appreciate those people who are around us day by day – the ones that we ‘do life with’? We could all do with some encouragement – why not tell someone how much you appreciate them today?

Spring cleaning your soul

I was busy cleaning my bathroom yesterday when I started thinking about how busy I have been recently. For quite a few weeks my cleaning regime has been rather curtailed due to lack of time. I have made sure that the place is hygienic, but it has been more about tidying up surfaces and making the place look okay rather than doing a thorough clean. As I started scrubbing I suddenly realised that that is how we can often be with our spiritual lives too. The things we do as so-called disciples of God can often be more about making sure we look good on the outside, rather than taking care of ourselves spiritually. Our souls can be crying out for some good nourishment, but we are so caught up with external things that we don’t even notice. I know that there has been much written about not approaching bible reading as something simply to be ticked off a ‘to do’ list, and not to be under condemnation if we don’t manage to read it every day. But I do think we are in danger of cheapening the grace that Christ won for us. Yes He died to set us free, but that didn’t take away our own responsibility to look after ourselves. Our society has a work hard, play hard mentality, which usually involves sessions at the gym or whatever your chosen method of exercise is. But for some reason, while we are happy to come on board the ‘look after your body’ camp, many of us Christians don’t seem to think much about looking after our souls. As we believe that our bodies are temporary (I know we are to look after them!), and that the important part of us is our soul, how come that belief hasn’t filtered down into what we actually do? The book that I was asked to write 8 years ago was on keeping ourselves spiritually fit – and it is just as much of an issue today. I am going to consciously try and take some time this week to honestly look at the state of my spiritual health (there are even some helpful checklists in my book that I will probably go back to! ;). I wonder, when was the last time you ‘spring cleaned’ your soul?