Tag: Prayer

Grief a year on…

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Warning: this is a long and extremely honest look back over my grief journey during the past 12 months. Today marks the first anniversary of Mum’s death. What a year it has been; none of us could have predicted that just after we said goodbye to her, the world would be thrust into a pandemic. That everything we took for granted would suddenly be pulled out from under us. And that a year later, we would still be living under restrictions with the death toll, and mental health toll, continuing to rise each and every day.

MY JOURNEY

I have had many responses over the last year, some probably due to ‘normal’ grief and others directly related to what we are all living through.

A little over a month after Mum died, I led my last worship service in our church building before we shut down. (On Mother’s Day – not great planning to put myself down on that day.) And then we were thrust into the busyness of getting the church online. While my husband (our lead pastor) had a great tech guy helping him as they hurriedly learned new skills, our family was heavily involved week by week. The ongoing pastoring of those in our church was something I gladly undertook with him too. 

Until the times when I felt overwhelmed. And then I began to realise I had a little resentment rising up. Not about helping others, but simply that I hadn’t had the time or space to grieve. And that my grief had actually been overshadowed by our nation’s, by the world’s, grief. From my perspective, that didn’t seem fair. But that was closely followed by guilt for feeling that way, especially when I had had the privilege of sitting next to my mum for the ten days it took for her to go and be with Jesus. 

Night and day I had remained in my parent’s home, and the final night we sat in her room with her until she took her last breath in the early hours of the next day. I know so many have lost loved ones this year without being able to say goodbye in person, and my heart aches for them. I have also thought, too, of those trapped in deep poverty who are dealing with the same kind of chronic illnesses Mum had. Although Mum’s life was difficult, her home was comfortable.

I have railed at God, asking him deep and personal questions about suffering that I have wrestled with over the years. But, for all my railings, there have often been times of being overcome with thankfulness too, that God took Mum when he did. One of the many diseases she had was a respiratory one, and I know she would have been particularly susceptible to, and petrified of, Covid. Just a month later and we may well have been saying goodbye from afar too. And I am so grateful her final days contained no knowledge of what was to come.

RENEWED FAITH

Recently, I have been engaging with the twice daily zoom calls for the young woman Hannah, struck down suddenly with a bleed on the brain. I know her family and husband of just a few short months may have initially opened up those calls to anyone out of desperation, in order to get as many people as possible praying for her. But they have become a source of inspiration, faith and unity for so many, as well as upholding them in their incredible personal journey. 

The honesty and openness with which they have generously shared their raw pain but also huge faith in the goodness of God has been a breath of fresh air and life to me. I am passionate about honesty within the Church, and it is so refreshing to see how willing they are to share. But it has also reawakened faith and stirred up passion in me again. That was something I desperately needed, and hadn’t realised how much it had dulled until it had been reawakened. 

RECOGNISING THE IMPACT

The years of painful, unanswered prayers and the impact that has had on our unsaved dad as well as Mum have taken their toll. As a church leader I have felt guilty for not having huge levels of faith when praying for the sick, although I have always fully believed that God can and is willing to heal miraculously today. I have certainly known the truth of this verse: ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick’ (Proverbs 13:12).

I know that God’s ways are higher than ours, but there are times when we really do wonder what he is up to! I certainly questioned his methods when Mum went to church in a wheelchair and came out running…but it didn’t last. Surely a miraculous, lasting healing would have made more sense and had a bigger impact on Dad? But I have to trust her quiet, determined and immensely strong faith in the midst of such trouble and affliction spoke even louder…

CONTINUED WRESTLING

That is not to say I don’t still have doubts, and questions. It has been incredible to listen to the stories of miraculous healings from others who have come on the zoom calls to encourage and spur on Hannah’s family – stating that because God healed their family member or friend he will do it for her. I do rejoice and my faith does rise, but so too do the questions.

I totally understand that when a young woman like Hannah is suddenly struck down it isn’t right, and the Church should be praying for healing and against any work of the enemy.

But…

It makes me ask – what about those who aren’t healed? What about those dear, faithful Christians who live with chronic illnesses for years. Specifically, what about my mum?

I know she was an older woman, who had suffered tremendously in her last few decades. But she had actually been ill for much of her life. We almost lost her just after I was born – and that certainly cemented the end of her relationship with my biological father. While she did embrace life and did achieve much, my childhood and adolescence were littered with sickness, and life or death operations became all too familiar over the years.

So, there is a deep pain, and many questions there, which I continue to wrestle with at times. 

For Mum the question changed from ‘why me?’ to ‘why not me?’. She felt she needed to give up her right to understand. There were moments when darkness enveloped her but she always clung to the knowledge that God was with her even when she couldn’t sense his presence. 

A CALL TO PRAYER

I do know God is good, and I know that Mum always stood on that truth. I know her resolute faith in the midst of severe, life-altering pain spoke to many, not least me, and I hold on to the promise that her example will one day draw Dad to his own faith. 

Mum clung on to life for many extra months, even when she was desperate to go home, just to see Dad’s salvation. That is, until my sister and I spoke to her of letting go – that we may be the ones to see the fruition of the promise God gave her so many decades ago.

When her strength was fading and her physical abilities shrunk her world to their living room, Mum began to feel useless. Then God spoke to her about the need for her prayers, because so many are too busy these days to be the prayer warriors he looks for. She took up that call and prayed faithfully for all those God placed on her heart. 

That is a mantle I believe God is waking us all up to, and that the situation with Hannah is helping with too. Yes, we have authority as God’s children and yes, our prayers do make a difference. My mum, as her life was ebbing away and she was crippled with pain, refused to stop praying. It became much more difficult but she never gave up. The importance of prayer is something that I have learned from her, and have had emphasised in recent weeks on the zoom calls.

MUM’S LEGACY

I think the best way I can honour Mum’s memory is by being as stubborn in my absolute faith and trust in God as she was – and by going deeper in my prayer life too.

So, while I may still have questions, and while the waves of grief still feel overwhelming at times, I thank God for who my mum was, and the legacy that she has left behind.

PS And, as Steve and I have spent recent days working hard on the final checks and publicity for our book Grace-filled Marriage, I have often paused and smiled, thinking of how I can’t wait to send a copy to Rob and Hannah.

We have stories from other couples in the book, who have faced unexpected difficulties and pain and seen God’s grace uphold and sustain them. They too will have an incredible story to tell about one of the most challenging periods of their married life and what God did in and through them…

Waiting well

Reflections based on Luke 2:21–40.

‘He was waiting for the consolation of Israel, and the Holy Spirit was on him’ (v25).

In Luke 2, we read about Mary and Joseph taking the baby Jesus to be presented to God at the Temple. Inside the Templeare two elderly servants of God – Simeon, a devout, righteous man, and Anna the prophetess, aged 84, who had been widowed after only seven years of marriage. The Holy Spirit had revealed to Simeon that he would see the Messiah before he died. I wonder what his expectations had been before that day – I can’t imagine that he had envisaged a young baby born to a poor couple.

It was vital that Simeon heard the prompting of the Holy Spirit, both in leading him to the Temple on that particular day at that specific time, and also in recognising who Jesus truly was. How much time must he have spent in preparation for that day? In prayer, waiting on God, listening to His voice? Did he wait patiently? Did years pass uneventfully before God prompted him on that day? We are not given such details.

And, for Anna, the pain of losing her husband so early on in her marriage must have been excruciating. The details we are given of her really challenge me – right from that moment up until the age of 84, she spent each day worshipping, praying and fasting. Both were faithful in their waiting, and it took many years for them to reach this moment of joyful recognition of their Saviour.

Whatever age you are, God wants you to hear His voice. If He makes a promise to you a period of waiting may be involved, and the answer may not come in the way you expect.

Perhaps, like me, you’ve become quite tired of the lockdown: the endless monotony of days stuck at home, juggling work with ensuring the kids are doing their school work too. Evenings are then taken up with zoom meetings and FaceTime, as well as preparation for church meetings. Life actually seems to be more intense and busy than usual, with little space to process what is going on. The cry of my heart has been, in recent days, ‘How much longer, Lord?’ As well as, if I’m being totally honest, ‘I’ve had enough – I can’t do this anymore!’ For some of you, a similar cry will have gone up, but for very different reasons. Perhaps you have spent lockdown alone, and are desperate to see people in the flesh again. Or maybe you are a key worker, pouring yourself out daily for those around you, but tired to your bones and in need of proper, extended rest.

I know that God is moving in this intensely difficult time, and that the waiting, however painful, is not being wasted. There is so much we don’t understand, but many of us are re-evaluating, having been stripped of what usually brings us security. We don’t like what we are seeing all around us, our hearts are bleeding for the huge losses and resulting heartbreak, but God is at work even in the midst of this horrific crisis. There seems to be a new hunger for prayer – but, alongside that, some of us are having to try and find new ways of connecting with God as we don’t have the same opportunities that we used to. For others, a kind of stagnation has taken place, as we struggle to find the impetus for anything, let alone prayer.

Please know that, whatever stage you are at, you are not alone. There will be others feeling like you do. And God hasn’t left you, however it feels right now. I can’t imagine how hard it must have been at times for both Simeon and Anna to keep on going, keep on holding on to the promises God had whispered to their souls. And yet the joy of that day, when they finally saw Him, the Saviour of their souls!

My prayer for each of us is that we will remain faithful as the lockdown and the necessary waiting get harder, that we will hear God’s voice and notice the prompting of His Spirit. While our world seems to have changed almost beyond recognition, thank God that He remains the same yesterday, today and forever…

Learning to ignore the ‘urgent’

Reflections based on Mark 1:29–39; Luke 5:12–16.

‘crowds of people came to hear him and to be healed of their illnesses. But Jesus often withdrew to lonely places and prayed.’ (Luke 5:15–16)

I love being busy and so often fill my days to the full. However, over recent years God has been talking to me about being overly tired. I think it can be a challenge, particularly when we can see so much need around us, to choose not to get involved with those things we discern God hasn’t asked us to.

But those urgent needs can be pressing, much as the crowds Jesus faced were. We need to learn from Jesus – even though He was faced with huge needs every day, He still took time out to rest and be alone with His Father in order to be refreshed, renewed and refocused. If we do not do that for ourselves, and instead continually respond to every ‘urgent’ need, we will eventually ‘burn out’. I have certainly experienced this.

It feels all the more poignant to be writing about this today, as it would have been my mum’s 75th birthday. Before she died (just over a month ago) she wrote to each one of us. I had helped her write those letters a couple of years ago, when she seemed close to death. But she had hand-written something extra in mine, something that we had actually spoken about the last time we had visited as a family. She told me she was worried about how I always seemed so tired, and always so busy. She urged me to slow down, to pare back. I was able to express to her that God had been saying the same thing to me, and that I’d actually been learning about the need for better balance for a few years. I’ve started on that journey…but I know I still have lots to learn.

Jesus was clearly able to step back from the urgent demands and in so doing discerned clearly His priorities, which in this case meant moving on to somewhere new, leaving needy people behind. We might find that really difficult to do, so what can we learn from Him?

It seems that Jesus learned the difference between the urgent and the important. One extreme example from his life was when he purposefully delayed going to see His dying friend Lazarus (after receiving an urgent plea from his sisters) to do what was God’s will – raise Lazarus from the dead (John 11).

While we may never have such a dramatic choice to make, we still need God’s wisdom to help us prioritise our time. Too often we take up many hours of our days spending ourselves on what may seem urgent, but they are, in fact, not the most important tasks God has for us.

Reflection: Carve out some time with God today to evaluate what is most important in your life and honestly assess the proportion of time you are devoting to those things. Ask Him to show you any ‘urgent’ demands that are not actually yours to meet. Then ask Him what changes you may need to make to your daily routines. 

A prayer of hope

Reflections based on 1 Samuel 2:1–21.

What a prayer! Hannah has just left her son with Eli, giving him back to God as she promised she would. How hard that must have been, and yet she goes away with her heart overflowing with the goodness of God. She knows she can trust Him not only with her own future, but with her son’s very life. This prayer is full of hope for all of us. It offers truths about who God is and what He does: ‘those who stumbled are armed with strength’, ‘those who were hungry are hungry no more’, ‘he… lifts the needy from the ash heap’.

Later in the passage we see Hannah’s hope bearing fruit once more. Juxtaposed against the sin that Eli’s sons were committing, we are told that ‘Samuel was ministering before the Lord’ (v.18). Hannah hadn’t had to give him up entirely – she got to visit him each year, no doubt watching him grow up to be the mighty man of God he became. But of course she had to return home without him, which must have been painful every time. However, God graciously blessed her with five other children. She couldn’t have expected that! 

Can you remember a time when you have had to wait patiently for something but then have seen how God’s timing was not only perfect but He also provided unexpected blessing too? I have seen God’s faithfulness time and time again in my own life. It doesn’t mean there aren’t hardships and frustrations – and I can’t say I like the waiting either! But I am beginning to understand that if we hope in God, He will fulfil all He has promised. Maybe not in the way we expect, but He knows best.

For prayer and reflection: Thank you God that you are totally trustworthy. I thank you for this reminder of how you do us good. Help me to remember these truths always.

Learning to trust God for our children – again!

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As soon as he came out of school my heart sank. His shoulders had dropped, and his whole demeanour oozed sadness…

That was back in July and became the start of an exceedingly difficult few months with our son, who is 9. We had been told that the two classes in his year group were going to be mixed up for the new academic year, but had been assured that friendship groups would be taken into consideration.

He had just found out that he didn’t have any of his three close friends in his class. And he was literally devastated.

What followed was weeks of crying himself to sleep and he ended that school year a different boy – less confident, no longer wanting to go back to school, questioning the point of prayer. His behaviour over the summer holidays we’ve just had was challenging in a way we’d not seen before too.

He really struggled to deal with the change emotionally – and we struggled to parent him through it at times.

TURNING TO PRAYER

As soon as we had heard that the classes were going to be mixed up, we had prayed – with, and for – our son. We had talked about new opportunities for friendships, and also reassured him that God was with him and that the Bible says: “we know that all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28, KJV), which means we can trust God – whatever the outcome.

So when the news rocked him to the core, of course we started asking God why it had happened – because he was asking us and we didn’t have any simple answers. We also wondered whether we should complain, or simply trust that the right course of action had happened.

It was tricky navigating this whole aspect, because we’d said to our son he could trust God would hold him, and work things out in a way that would ensure God’s purposes for his life, and yet here he was faced with what he viewed as a truly negative turn of events.

I am quite an emotional person, and when something happens that either upsets my family, or me, I can find it hard to hear from God about it. So I did struggle and, in the end, simply asked God whether he would show me if it was right to talk to the school. An opportunity naturally arose, but it didn’t change the decision.

FACING THE NEW TERM

We prayed together the night before our son went back to school and his prayers revealed that he had grasped the understanding that he needed to give it a chance. While he was fairly resigned to the situation as he travelled into school, I think perhaps I found it more difficult waving him off than he did going in!

And in those first few days I saw God’s hand at work, for both my son and me. He was able to play with his friends at break and lunchtime, enjoyed being in a class with his new teacher and even came out one day saying that it was a nicer class overall!

On the first day, his teacher was on the gate when I dropped him off so I was able to chat to him. And the next day his teaching assistant was there. She has been with him for a few years, and was able to reassure me that she thought it was the best thing that could have happened to him. That his best friend, who has consistently been competition for him in a good way (they’ve helped motivate each other), had actually started becoming a distraction in the last year. So she felt it was good they had been split up.

I immediately felt flooded with peace when I heard this – and also felt a little nudge in my spirit. I had had an inkling that there may have been something like that behind the decision; whether that was simply my parental instinct or me hearing from God I can’t say for definite, but in that moment I certainly felt a confirmation that God has been looking out for our son all along.

GOD IS ALWAYS AT WORK

Of course, I know the truth that God loves my kids even more than I do, and that part of my job as a parent is to learn to entrust them more and more to him, but I also know that is a work in progress and I don’t always get it right (and it’s easier said than done sometimes).

I’m so glad our son is settling into school well so far, but I know there will still be challenges ahead. While he may be throwing himself into tackling the new situation at school head on, his behaviour at home still isn’t great and we are navigating the whole ‘disciplining with lashings of grace’ right now.

But I am really grateful for the glimpse of seeing God at work in our son’s life – and I know I definitely needed the reminder to trust God with my kids (especially as the oldest one has just become a teenager! 😉 )

 

 

 

Prayer provides natural opportunity

Today I have the huge privilege of guest blogging on Like Minded Musings, as part of the 30 day, multi-contributor, Raising Godly Girls series. Not only that, the post is mainly written by my amazing daughter 🙂 Please do click the photo below to head across and check it out.


 

I also want to give you the opportunity to grab the ebook created from another blog series Lee Felix of Like Minded Musings organised (and which I was a part of). It’s particularly for parents of tweens (but great to get now if your children are younger – I can assure you it will be a great help in years to come!). Do click below if you would like to download it.

30 Days of Tween Parenting Encouragement Blog Party e-book

What I learned about distance in Christian marriage

I am delighted to welcome Tiffany Montgomery as a guest blogger today – she shares insights from when she discovered her part in creating distance in her marriage, and what God prompted her to do about it. That forms the basis of a new online course she is launching, Finding Hope and Joy in My Marriage – and there is one free place up for grabs below!

Do you remember when you were courting your husband?  (or he was courting you 😉 ).  Our romance began with long nights playing cards, drinking coffee and talking about our hopes and dreams, fears and failures of the past.  We were so close, the best of friends. What happened?  

We don’t talk like that anymore.  Distance. It came with time and hurt and life.

I don’t always tell him things and he forgets to tell me things. Now we have to have a time on the calendar to talk deeper than schedule things and kid things.  When did that happen? There was a time – in the past – when wild bulls could not have kept me from calling him to talk about the joys and sorrows of life.

As a woman I feel the pain of that distance deeply, but it never crossed my mind that he feels it too.  He put distance between us at some point – just like I put distance between him.

The man I love – who once worked day and night to make me happy – his need for respect is as real as his need for air.

When he feels disrespected, when his pride is hurt again and again, he starts putting up a wall to protect himself – from me.  I think of it as a dam – with walls that are high and wide – behind which he can hide the well springs of his heart.

My man is human – a natural mixture of good, neutral, and bad character traits – just like me.  And, just like me, he puts distance between himself and hurt.

Proverbs 21:19 says: “It is better to live in a desert land than with a contentious and vexing woman.”

This scripture describes a wife with a mouth that can maim her husband.   Can you relate to the conviction in those words?  

When I am not a safe place for my husband, he puts up a wall between us.

When I challenge him for the leadership role in our home, he builds that wall higher.

This wall grows and grows over the years until he has a built a huge dam.  Our husbands are protecting themselves from the pain of not being good enough for the most important person in their world… his wife.

When I think of it this way, my very soul is laid bare.

I created this unsafe place for him?  My words, my nagging, my putting my preferences first, my business and forgetfulness, my fear and taking the wrong side…  Have you created a similar place?

Did I really crush him so much that he can’t trust me with his heart?  I see the distance and know it is true. Can you see your husband’s lack of trust in you?  His uncertainty of how you will react to his flaws?

I just want to add a note here that the way he is responding is not all on us.  You must not take responsibility for his every mood swing. Often there is more going on in his world.  Hurts from his past create some of his behavior; wrestling with God can create some of it as well. He may struggle with insecurity or any number of other things.  I want to be sure you understand here that we are only to deal with what our attitude and actions are affecting.

Over the course of the past decade God has shown me how my words affect my husband –deeper than he lets on.  I have to look to how he responds to see the real results of years of nagging and disrespect. It took so much to heal this hurt and get my husband to let down the wall to the dam over his heart.

How did I create a Safe Place to remove the Distance in our Christian Marriage?

These I the things that I did, which I humbly suggest could help you too:

  1. Accept him – flaws and all.
    • This required a lot of forgiveness. Forgiving the past hurts.
    • It also required a lot of prayer – because some of those flaws are hard to live with.  I am now trusting God to change my husband in His time – instead of trying to change him in my time.
  2. Showing respect with my words and taking complaints and concerns to God instead of my husband.
    • Did I mention prayer?  Taking my words to God first –- letting Him be my filter – has changed the entire dynamic in our home!
    • God deals with the emotional side of what I want to say, then hubby and I can clearly communicate when there are problems.  And we can have more fun when there are not problems – because I am trusting God to handle the bigger things for me!

My Husband put distance between us because I was not a safe place for him to be real – flaws and all.  

Bit by slow bit I am trying to be a safe place for him.  To love him the way I want to be loved.

Does that fix all of our problems?   Nope.  He still hurts me sometimes and I still hurt him sometimes.  But we are accepting the humanness of ourselves and we can work through things now because neither of us expects the other to be perfect!

Are you longing for Hope and Joy in your Marriage?

God took me through a journey of re-learning how to live as a wife with a biblical worldview.  It is a joy for me to teach and mentor locally and I am thrilled to launch this new Online Course.

In this 9 week course we will dig into the Bible and find out how to restore our marriages – rebuilding them to last a lifetime!

This Marriage Course will include:

  • 10 self paced video lessons on:
    • Love
    • Forgiveness
    • Desires Vs. Preferences
    • My Mouth
    • Appreciation & Admiration
    • The Leader
    • Understanding Men
    • Respect
    • My Priorities
  • 9 weeks of personal study
    • 5 days each week that should take 10-15 minutes
  • 45 days of prayer prompts

I am excited to give away one spot on the course!

To Enter Click this Link.

 

 

Tiffany is a Kentucky Jesus Gal with a passion to encourage and equip wives and moms through practical biblical discipleship on her site HopeJoyInChrist.com. She loves to connect with other women to help grow their Christian marriages inside her growing Facebook Community. She shares: “My heart’s desire is to encourage the women – if we walk this life together we can do it better”!

Thanking God for ALL experiences

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gratefulpic

A reflection and response…

As we looked at previously, 1 Thessalonians 5:18 talks about the fact that we need to learn to ‘give thanks in all circumstances’. Certainly the apostle Paul was a great example of this, praising God even while in chains. However, when we think about thanksgiving we don’t often turn to those situations that we find difficult or painful. And yet that is precisely the place God wants us to get to – being able to love and thank Him whatever is going on around (and to) us.

I find the hymn I’ve put below interesting because it does just that. Rather than only focusing on thanking God for the good times the writer has juxtaposed the positive with the negative: pleasant weather – and life experiences – with stormy, comfort with pain, roses with thorns.

Think back: how often have you thanked God for the difficulties in your life, as well as the easy times?

Read through this hymn, really reflecting on the individual images it contains. Try and place yourself in the hymn, and make yourself the protagonist. For example, what memories do you want to bring up and remember? What tears that you thought were now forgotten have brimmed up again? What storms have you weathered? When did you feel His comfort amongst the despair? What requests are you glad He denied? In what ways have you felt His hope?

Thanks to God for my Redeemer,

Thanks for all Thou dost provide!

Thanks for times now but a memory,

Thanks for Jesus by my side!

Thanks for pleasant, balmy springtime,

Thanks for dark and stormy fall!

Thanks for tears by now forgotten,

Thanks for peace within my soul!

Thanks for prayers that Thou hast answered,

Thanks for what Thou dost deny!

Thanks for storms that I have weathered,

Thanks for all Thou dost supply!

Thanks for pain, and thanks for pleasure,

Thanks for comfort in despair!

Thanks for grace that none can measure,

Thanks for love beyond compare!

Thanks for roses by the wayside,

Thanks for thorns their stems contain!

Thanks for home and thanks for fireside,

Thanks for hope, that sweet refrain!

Thanks for joy and thanks for sorrow,

Thanks for heav’nly peace with Thee!

Thanks for hope in the tomorrow,

Thanks through all eternity!

(Written in 1891 by August Ludvig Storm, of the Swedish Salvation Army. Translated in 1931 by Carl E. Backstrom and set to music by Swedish composer Johannes Alfred Hultman.)

Take some time to ask God to reveal to you experiences that are still locked away that you’ve never thanked Him for precisely because they were difficult. Ask for His revelation about them, so that you can see them through His eyes. Wait, seek His wisdom and then speak out a prayer of thanks, acknowledging the part they have played in shaping you. If there is pain or hurt that needs dealing with sit before your Father and ask Him to pour His healing balm on you, opening yourself up to His love and care.

You might like to try writing or drawing a juxtaposing poem or image yourself, picking up on both the good and not so easy things you want to thank God for. Keep whatever you create near you for the rest of the week so that you can use it as a starting point for reflective prayer.

Thankful for the cross

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crossandsky

Today we are going to focus specifically on thanking God for the cross. You might find it helpful to get hold of either a picture of a cross or a small physical cross that you can place in front of you to concentrate your thoughts.

Meditation: Start by simply looking at the cross and then think about what Jesus dying on that cross has done for you, for your life, for your everyday ‘going about’. Speak out a few of your thoughts slowly, mulling over the words and truly allowing them to sink in and impact you.

Here are some thoughts you may like to utilise (and personalise) during your meditation:

Whether good, bad, enemies or friends, we each deserved to die as we cannot stand before God in our own righteousness.

And yet, through Christ’s death we are transformed – given a new identity and new standing before God.

We are dressed in Christ’s royal robes rather than our filthy rags.

And we are now free! Free from the clutches of sin and death, free from our enemy’s hold on us.

We can now choose to walk in that close relationship with our loving heavenly Father each moment of every day.

Finish your time of meditation by turning some of the thoughts you had into prayers of thanks to God.

What I have been reading: winter

Here is a selection of books that I’ve read over the last few months – including those I saved for the Christmas holidays to enjoy at a relaxed pace.

pete-greig-dirty-glory-highDirty Glory
By Pete Greig

I have read Pete’s previous books, so was eagerly anticipating this one. The follow on from Red Moon Rising, which charted the first five years of the 24-7 Prayer movement, this book picks up where that one left off and comments on the subsequent 15 years.

Pete is extremely honest in this book, in which he shares the struggles, miracles and insights both he and others in the 24-7 team have learned.

This is a real faith-building book, as it is full of inspiring stories – often in the unlikeliest of places. As Pete himself said: ‘There are stories in this book that will fry your noodles!’

Pete talks about how they have remained faithful to their calling through extremely difficult times, such as his wife’s illness and those moments when pioneering was no longer exciting. He also shares some of his insights into what prayer actually is, and how important it is to be real with God.

I learned a great deal from this book, laughed and cried – and bought it for friends for Christmas. It’s definitely a life-changer.

listening-to-godListening to God
By Joyce Huggett

Another book on prayer, this is a classic that I had never actually read before. Pete Greig actually endorsed the 30th anniversary edition that I read – saying that there are many books on talking to God but few about listening to Him. That is so true, and I found Joyce’s disarming honesty about her own journey so helpful and compelling.

Joyce offers much practical advice for anyone who is stirred to journey further with God, to understand how to better listen to Him. This is another book I would recommend to anyone who hasn’t read it before.

becoming-reverend-front-cover-hi-res-imageBecoming Reverend
By Matt Woodcock

This is an amusing, heartfelt, honest – and sometimes irreverent – book charting Matt’s journey from journalist to vicar. Written in diary form, the reader journeys with him, as he expresses all the highs and lows of following his calling – and what that means for him and his family. (Some may be offended by his opinion of ‘vicar school’, as he calls it – just a little warning!)

At the same time as attending theological college, Matt and his wife were struggling with infertility, and the failure of IVF. The book includes the gut-wrenching pain they went through – as well as the soaring celebration when they finally got pregnant and then gave birth to twins (although there were still struggles to come).

Being married to a pastor myself, there were moments that really resonated with me. If you like quirky, comedic but also really honest writing then I would suggest you might like to try reading this book.

barefootBarefoot
By Sharon Garlough Brown

Wow. Just wow. I LOVE Sharon’s writing, having already devoured her previous two titles in the ‘Sensible Shoes’ series that this is a part of. I really feel like I know the four main characters, Mara, Hannah, Charissa and Meg and so was desperate to find out what happened next in their intertwined lives.

Sharon is a spiritual director, and she uses the fictional stories of these four women to share real wisdom and insight into journeying with God through the real ups and downs of life. She tackles issues such as divorce, unfulfilled dreams, dealing with the difficult choices a daughter has made and makes the characters so ‘real’ in their responses. As they each discover spiritual exercises for themselves, Sharon also provides further details for the reader – I have found those really helpful.

It is actually some of the dialogue between characters and God, or with each other, that have affected me most profoundly – I have written out quotes from them in my journal and go back to them time and time again.

If you haven’t already read Sensible Shoes, the first in the series, start there – and then devour the three books just like I have. This is definitely the most spiritually forming and instructing set of fiction books that I have ever read. I am excited (but also saddened as it means the series is coming to an end) that there is one more book to come.

knowing-annaKnowing Anna
By Sarah Meyrick

This is a really interesting and unusual book, which starts just at the moment when the title character dies of cancer. She asks her close family and friends to embark on a pilgrimage after her death, and we pick up the story as they begin walking the Pilgrims’ Way towards Canterbury. Each one has memories and aspects of themselves that they wrestle with, and the various chapters focus on different characters. The priest that is leading them offers up reflections for their moments of silence each day, and the way that the individuals respond to that provides much more depth to the story.

This isn’t the sort of book I read usually, and I was intrigued by it. I found I turned the pages quickly, eager to find out what happened. There were a few elements that I found slightly unnecessary, but that’s just a personal thing (such as the language, and certain parts of people’s stories). But, overall, it was a book that kept my interest, and also made me think.

sinister-student-photoSinister Student
By Kel Richards

This is one that I saved to read during the Christmas holidays, as it seemed like a nice light read. I loved the fact that the main characters included C.S. Lewis and J.R.R. Tolkien. It is a murder mystery – and I discovered that it is one of a whole series of books with C.S. Lewis acting as an aide to the police’s investigations.

I did enjoy this book, but I was actually a little put off by the sub-plot. All the way through, the other main character, Morris, who is an atheist, had an ongoing debate with the others about how gruesome he felt the cross is as a symbol for Christianity. Now I’m all for writing fiction that subtly addresses issues of faith so that it reaches a wide audience, but this was not subtle at all and I found myself annoyed when it interrupted the flow of the story. If a Christian like me is annoyed by it, I cringed to think how those who do not share my beliefs may respond to this aspect of the book. Better than I did I hope! I had intended to check out the rest of the series – but I’m now in two minds about doing so…

alabastarAlabaster
By Chris Aslan

One of the discoveries that I have made, since I started reviewing books and therefore am sent a whole variety of genres, is that I enjoy biblical fiction. When I first started reading this book, I thought it was based in biblical times, and had used biblical stories as inspiration. It took me a while to realise that it was a retelling of an actual biblical story! Having realised, I then wasn’t sure about the back story that has been created. It is very imaginative, but I’m still hesitant. I definitely empathised with the characters, and the book did give a different perspective that challenged my preconceived ideas and made me look at the story afresh. So, in that sense, I guess the book has done its job. It’s certainly beautifully written and I was fully immersed in the story, eager for free moments to read more.