Tag: repentance

Time for a fresh start?

Reflections based on John 21:15–22.

This interaction between Peter and Jesus is one that always causes a heart response in me, because it beautifully reveals how God restores us.

This was the first time that Peter had spoken one on one with Jesus since the resurrection – and since that horrifying day when he had disowned him, and then watched him die an agonising death. Peter had been so sure of himself, so sure that he would stand by Jesus no matter what (see Mark 14) and yet Jesus knew that Peter would deny him three times.

How all of that must have played heavily on Peter’s mind, even after Jesus appeared, resurrected, to them all. He must have felt that he had blown it and yet what does Jesus do in this interaction between them? In a beautiful display of forgiveness and reinstatement, he asks Peter three times: ‘do you love me?’ By the third time, Peter was feeling hurt and yet, although tough at the time, those three questions were for the three denials. Jesus was bringing restoration. As I explain in my book Taking Off the Mask:

‘The first two times, the Greek word he [Jesus] uses for love is agape, which means self-sacrificial love. The first time it is in the context of the group; the second he is focusing on just Peter. The third time the word Jesus uses is phileis, from the word philos, which means beloved or friend. Here Jesus is talking about brotherly affection. I believe, through this process, he is asking Peter to both confront his past mistakes and look honestly at what his true feelings and motivations are. Jesus uses this to redeem Peter and charges him with the task of looking after the church: ‘feed my sheep’ (v.17)’

It may be that during this time of lockdown you have struggled in certain areas. Being in close quarters with family has certainly brought out the best, but also the worst, in all of us in my household, and I know we’ve had to learn to apologise to one another quickly. We have found, as time has gone on, that patience has worn thinner and we have been less gracious towards one another. We have had to recognise our mistakes and bring peace and restoration to our relationships.

One of the things I think God has been stirring in many of us is the necessity of looking at our usual priorities. Do our lives need recalibrating in any way? Are there practises that we need to discard, and new ones we need to put into place going forward?

And what about our motivations? We watched on in horror at the murder of George Floyd, but many of us have since been learning that not being racist is not enough – we must show that we are anti-racist and stand in unity with one another. We need to search our hearts for our own wrong attitudes and actions, and be quick to repentance.

How reassuring it is that we serve a God whose mercies are new every morning, who remains faithful and true – and who provides us with a fresh start when we need one.

Getting real

 

Today I have the huge pleasure of introducing Catherine Parks as a guest blogger on the Unmasked: stories of authenticity blog series. Catherine has written a brilliant, challenging book called Real: the surprising secret to deeper relationships. In it, she describes how she discovered that repentance is the key to creating genuine, authentic relationships. She expands on an extract of the book below to share with us how she learned to cultivate the habit of repentance in her own life.

I’m not generally one to talk about the deep parts of myself – my fears, sins, or even triumphs. I naturally shrug off questions about myself, partly afraid to let others in, distrustful of my motives and heart, and partly because I’m not always aware of what’s really going on in my heart. But thankfully, the Lord has given me two dear friends who, over time, have learned to pull me out of myself. One of these friends moved to my town a few years ago, and we immediately started spending regular time together. After the first few occasions, I noticed that whenever we met up she would ask, “How’s your heart?”

To me, this was an awkward question, and a little strong coming from someone I hadn’t known that long. Not one to go too deep too quickly, I didn’t have a great answer. The first couple of times I just said, “Oh, good, I think. Yeah. Nothing much going on.” And then I turned it back on herand she told me some of the things she was struggling with. She eventually commented on how I was so laid back and must just not be dealing with much. She thought my marriage was perfect. She thought my kids must be angels.

It wasn’t so much that I was trying to hide some secret sin from her; I just didn’t really know how my heart was. But I didn’t want to give her the wrong idea about things, so eventually I started preparingon my way to meet her, trying to figure out what I would say when she asked me. I was motivated by her opinion of me.I wanted her to think I was reciprocating in the relationships, and that I didn’t think I was perfect. I was driven by pride and thinking too much of myself.

While my motivation was wrong, the effect was so good. I started actually examining my heart, praying for sin to be revealed, and then confessing it to another person.I had always analyzed everything around me, but tended to neglect my own heart.

The benefits of this friendship started to affect my other relationships.I was more open with my husband about my struggles because I was actually putting a name to them. I was quicker to admit failure and sin to other friends,particularly one who had waited for years for me to be more forthcoming and transparent. And because I had identified specific struggles, I was learning to recognize my temptations and to pray for help in the moment.

Vulnerability takes time and trust.I could trust my friend because I had spent time with her. I knew she cared about me. I knew she was on my team, helping me to fight my sin. And I saw her own willingness to be vulnerable,which paved the way for me to follow.

Yes, this takes time and trust – but it is worth it. Because ultimately, in relationship with other Spirit-filled, grace-loving believers, confession isn’t about judgment and guilt – it’s an opportunity to rejoice in the gospel together, side-by-side, praising the Savior whose sacrifice brings us the forgiveness and grace we all so desperately need.

Catherine Parks loves to help women build friendships around scripture. She has written for the Ethics and Religious Liberty Commission and Christianity Today. She lives in Nashville with her husband, two children and a cute mutt named Ollie.

 

 

 

 

Becoming an encourager

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‘For those who are led by the Spirit of God are the children of God. The Spirit you received does not make you slaves, so that you live in fear again; rather, the Spirit you received brought about your adoption to sonship.’

Reflections based on Romans 8:1–30.

Today is Ash Wednesday, the start of Lent. Traditionally, it is a time to soberly reflect on our frailty and sinfulness. I come from an evangelical background, so haven’t often been involved with particular set days in the Church calendar. However, I am learning more and more how certain traditions can enrich my faith. I love the fact that, on Ash Wednesday, there is a sense in which we can be honest about our need for repentance collectively. We don’t need to pretend.

I think this fits well with our current weekly devotional on encouragement. Today’s blog is about becoming an encourager, but I sense that many of us can struggle with that idea. If you do, be encouraged that you are not alone! There can be various reasons for this, and today try to be honest with yourself about why that is the case for you.

Some of us can have a natural tendency to be worriers, or to be quite negative. Others can be pretty insecure and so we find it difficult to lift our heads above our problems. It is so easy to accept these natural tendencies, saying to ourselves that it is simply the way we were born. However, although we can acknowledge where we are at today, we can also remember that Lent is a time for reflection – and of looking forward to what Jesus did for us on the cross. Let’s be honest if we struggle with being encouraging – but remind ourselves that God is the ultimate encourager.

Today’s scripture is full of great truth for any of us struggling with the concept of encouragement too. Firstly, there is no longer any condemnation for us (v1), so we don’t need to take on negative thinking about how badly we’ve given or received encouragement in the past. It also says we are set free in Christ; in fact the Holy Spirit reminds us that we are now children of God. We no longer have to live by our sinful nature.

I know that trying to put off your old nature and put on the new in your own strength can be frustrating and somewhat impossible, but the good news is we have the Holy Spirit’s help. With His help, we CAN change. Those of us who tend to be negative and critical CAN be encouraging and positive. Those who allow our thoughts to spiral downwards and end up being somewhat self-absorbed in the midst of difficulties CAN lift our heads and receive comfort and help from the Father. Our passage for today also includes the amazing promise that God is working for our good in all things (v28). What an encouragement to cling to!

Prayer: Lord I am sorry for the times when I seem to be more at home with my old nature. On this Ash Wednesday, I ask You to help me to set it aside and learn how to be an encourager. Give me opportunities to encourage others – and then be encouraged myself when I have done so. Amen.

 

Five reasons why we need to repent more

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The words ‘sin’ and ‘repentance’ seem somewhat old-fashioned don’t they? I’m often told to change them when I’m editing Bible study notes, as people don’t relate to such terminology these days.

It is true that sin and repentance are concepts that seem to go against the grain. Our individualistic society feeds off the thought that ‘I’ should focus on myself – and that ‘truth’ is simply what I believe and how dare anyone challenge that. But that smacks of a hardness of heart – whereas we are called to be softened and malleable in God’s hands.

God has been talking to me a lot recently about how vital our need to say sorry is. I’ve come to realise that repentance actually holds the key to unlocking so much freedom within us as Christians.

We need to say sorry both to God and to others. We need to have the grace to allow others to say sorry to us and forgive when necessary.

It is true that, as Elton John says, ‘sorry seems to be the hardest word’. However, here are five compelling reasons to put in the effort.

1. It reveals a humble, honest heart.

God wants us to be humble enough to acknowledge when we are in the wrong, rather than trying to cover it up. When we come to Him with honesty it shows integrity; we aren’t trying to pretend we are better than we are. Saying sorry and asking for forgiveness demonstrates our continued need of a Saviour. We can’t do everything in our own strength – repenting when we trip up shows that we recognise this and are leaning on God.

I love spending time in the psalms – David is one of my biblical heroes. So much strength, wisdom, depth of feeling and a worshipful heart, and yet he wasn’t perfect. He stooped to an all-time low in his episode of covering up his sin with Bathsheba, but, when the prophet Nathan confronted David his immediate response was ‘I have sinned against God’, and he wrote Psalm 51 to God soon after. Here’s a snippet:

Have mercy on me, O God,

 according to your unfailing love;

according to your great compassion

 blot out my transgressions.

Wash away all my iniquity

 and cleanse me from my sin.

For I know my transgressions,

 and my sin is always before me…

Cleanse me with hyssop, and I shall be clean;

 wash me, and I shall be whiter than snow.

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