Tag: trusting God

His timing

Today I am celebrating the publication of the above devotional in eBook format (it will be available in print by September). It was the book I was in the middle of writing when I heard that my mum was close to dying, and so the rest of it was written sitting next to her as she took her journey to be with Jesus.

As it is a devotional, and there is an entry called ‘His timing’, which fits with our current weekly series, I thought I’d give you a sneak preview of the contents. The following is taken from day 18 (and is also a passage I have preached on recently – click here for the full preach, or here for a shortened version):

Reflections based on John 11:17–27.

Jesus stayed away when He heard that Lazarus had become ill, because He knew God wanted to work a miracle. But what about Mary and Martha, Lazarus’ sisters? They were not privy to such information. Jesus was a good friend – they had reached out to let Him know about their brother, so must have expected Him to return. They must have been so confused and disappointed when He didn’t appear. And then they suffered the loss of their beloved brother… Lazarus had been dead for four days by the time that Jesus arrived. While Martha went out to see Him, Mary did not. I think I would have been inconsolable by this point – and probably very angry. 

I find it so interesting that Jesus asks Martha to exercise her faith to express who she believes He is before her brother is raised. Often it is in that waiting time – when we can also be dealing with a lot of pain – that displaying our faith is the most difficult, and yet He is still the Messiah, He is the resurrection and the life.

There are many instances in our lives when we don’t understand God’s timing, when He seems to wait to answer our prayers – or perhaps doesn’t even seem to answer them at all. I was really moved and challenged by a eulogy I heard recently. Speaker and writer Priscilla Shirer’s mother had died; she tweeted a video of her brother speaking at the funeral. He had been wrestling with God as to why He let her die and described what God said back to him:

‘There was always only two answers to your prayers. Either she was going to be healed, or she was going to be healed. Either she was going to live, or she was going to live. Either was going to be with family, or she was going to be with family. Either she was going to be well taken care of, or she was going to be well taken care of.’ I certainly found that challenged my perspective.

Prayer: Lord, there are times when I really don’t understand what is happening, and feel the pain acutely. Help me to continue to trust You. Amen.

If you are interested in finding out more about my devotional, please click here.

God’s life-changing interruptions

Reflections based on Luke 1:26–49.

‘“I am the Lord’s servant,” Mary answered. “May it be to me as you have said.”’ (v.38)

As we continue to look at how God’s supernatural timing affects our lives, we turn now to the story of Mary. God certainly cut across her plans – to marry Joseph and set up home together. She was a young betrothed teenage girl, full of hopes for her future; she would never have imagined the scenario she now found herself in. And yet. She still submitted herself totally to God’s will and timing. However, she must have been wondering how her parents, Joseph and wider community would react to her pregnancy.

Today, we can look back at her story, knowing that God chose her, a virgin, to fulfil Old Testament prophecy concerning the Messiah’s birth (Isa. 7:14). He knew her character – her love for Him and His purposes, and her obedient, servant heart.

Many other biblical figures experienced God breaking supernaturally into their lives, such as Moses, Gideon, Samuel. So might we. Sometimes this happens because our plans are not quite He had in mind. We can be very focused on our own well-being, but God wants us to be a part of His ongoing story of salvation and love – to be His hands and feet to reach this world.

This global pandemic has interrupted all of our lives in ways unimaginable just a few short months ago. Alongside the bewildering grief and pain, it has also provided a huge opportunity for the Church to be scattered once more; to reach neighbours and friends perhaps in a completely new way.

We cry out to God to break in and stop the devastation the relentless virus is causing. What if He also wants to break into our lives afresh, and to the lives of those around us – perhaps through us?

Mary willingly submitted to God when He interrupted her plans to reveal His plan for her life. How will we respond, if He breaks into our lockdown experiences? 

Prayer: Lord we don’t understand fully what is going on in the world today, but we know we don’t have to understand to be able to trust You. We pray for Your mercy and Your love to reach far and wide. And help us to be attentive to what You are doing in this time. Help us to recognise when You do break in – and to be humble enough to do what You ask of us. Amen.

God’s timing in our times

I’m excited to share the first in a new series with you today! As we are still near the start of a new decade, it seems an appropriate time to focus on just that – time. Looking at how our times are in God’s hands – and that we can trust His timing, even when we don’t understand it.

Reflections based on Psalm 31:1–9,14–24.

‘But I trust in you, O LORD; I say, “You are my God.” My times are in your hands …’ (vv.14–15)

David was an unexpected choice for a future king. He was a shepherd boy, who was left out in the fields by his family when Samuel visited in order to anoint the future king (see 1 Samuel 16:1–13). But God’s choice is often the unexpected one.

After he was anointed by Samuel ‘the Spirit of the LORD came upon David in power’ (v.13). Then a very long and difficult wait ensued, during which time David served the current king Saul well, but Saul became increasingly jealous of him and eventually he had to flee for his life.

Even during this confusing time, David trusted that his ‘times’ and life circumstances were in God’s hands. He insisted on waiting for God’s timing to become king, even when it looked like Saul had been delivered into his hands. David and his men were hiding from Saul when Saul appeared in the same cave there were in in order ‘to relieve himself’. David refused to kill Saul even though his men urged him to do so. He knew it was only right to wait for God’s timing (see 1 Samuel 24:1–22).

David is a wonderful example to us, and his story provides a great reminder that God’s timing is perfect – however irrational and perplexing that that timing might appear. I’m not sure that I can say the same, but that is how I long to be too.

Prayer: Lord help me to trust, as David did, that ‘my times’ are truly in Your hands. Help me to understand more of Your timing in my life. Amen.

Hoping in the wrong things

Reflections based on Psalm 37:1–11 and 1 Timothy 6:17.

‘Command those who are rich in this present world not to be arrogant nor to put their hope in wealth, which is so uncertain, but to put their hope in God…’ (1 Timothy 6:17)

If we are honest with ourselves, it is so easy to take our eyes off of God and focus on our circumstances, surroundings, peers etc. We can also spend ourselves going after a promotion / new job, a better car or holiday – even starting a family. None of those things are wrong in themselves, but if we put all our energies into them we also inevitably start putting our hope in them too. And that’s when it is easy to get our hopes dashed.

If we are overlooked in our career and see those that we believe are much less deserving take what we feel was our rightful place, then we can become bitter. Like Israel, we can easily forget what God has done for us, and compare ourselves to our ‘enemies’, feeling they are better off than us. But really it all boils down to who are we going to trust. Where does our hope lie? In our career, home, family, leisure activities?

The writer of Psalm 119 shows us where we should be putting our hope: ‘I rise before dawn and cry for help; I have put my hope in your word.’ (v147) How often do we turn to the Bible for inspiration and guidance when our hopes are disappointed? Is it our natural response – or the last port of call when desperation comes knocking? 

I love the reminder in Psalm 37 that, if we commit to trusting in God, we do not need to fear for our future, even when evil seems to flourish. We can take hold of the promise that we will inherit the land. We need to learn to keep our hope focused God and what He says rather than material things or earthly relationships.

For prayer and reflection: Think about anything you know you have put your hope in over and above God. Now pray and repent of doing that, asking God to help you to trust only in Him.

When things seem hopeless

Photo by mateen kazi from Pexels

Reflections based on Job 6:2–21.

‘What strength do I have, that I should still hope? What prospects, that I should be patient?’ (v.11)

I want to look at one more biblical character in our study on hope. I was drawn to Job, partly because I was surprised to see so many scriptures on hope within the book (although many are about the loss of hope). But it was mainly because, having looked at Hannah and David, I still had one more question. How do we keep hoping in God even when everything around us falls apart or is taken away?

Job was a righteous man that Satan said was only faithful because he hadn’t been tested. So God allowed him to take everything away from Job – his children, animals, servants – and afflicted him with painful sores. Even then he remained steadfast (see 2:10). It was when his friends started saying he must have sinned that Job began to question why he was suffering so much.

Job’s friends just didn’t seem to know how to cope with Job at this point. They believed he must need to repent and said that if he would put his trust back in God: ‘You will be secure, because there is hope; you will look about you and take your rest in safety.’ (11:18). How often do we judge our friends, thinking that perhaps the difficulties they are facing are the result of sin? While it is important to challenge each other when necessary, we need to be careful that we don’t make wrong assumptions.

Look again at 6:8–13. Have you ever been in a place of suffering that is so bad you just longed to be allowed to give up? I have watched my mother suffer such constant physical pain that I know death would be a relief – and yet still she clings to her hope in God. She is an inspiration to me, and has taught me so much about trusting God through difficulties.

For prayer and reflection: Help me Lord not to judge my friends unfairly, or to lose hope in You when things around me are becoming difficult.

Learning to trust God for our children – again!

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As soon as he came out of school my heart sank. His shoulders had dropped, and his whole demeanour oozed sadness…

That was back in July and became the start of an exceedingly difficult few months with our son, who is 9. We had been told that the two classes in his year group were going to be mixed up for the new academic year, but had been assured that friendship groups would be taken into consideration.

He had just found out that he didn’t have any of his three close friends in his class. And he was literally devastated.

What followed was weeks of crying himself to sleep and he ended that school year a different boy – less confident, no longer wanting to go back to school, questioning the point of prayer. His behaviour over the summer holidays we’ve just had was challenging in a way we’d not seen before too.

He really struggled to deal with the change emotionally – and we struggled to parent him through it at times.

TURNING TO PRAYER

As soon as we had heard that the classes were going to be mixed up, we had prayed – with, and for – our son. We had talked about new opportunities for friendships, and also reassured him that God was with him and that the Bible says: “we know that all things work together for good to them that love God” (Romans 8:28, KJV), which means we can trust God – whatever the outcome.

So when the news rocked him to the core, of course we started asking God why it had happened – because he was asking us and we didn’t have any simple answers. We also wondered whether we should complain, or simply trust that the right course of action had happened.

It was tricky navigating this whole aspect, because we’d said to our son he could trust God would hold him, and work things out in a way that would ensure God’s purposes for his life, and yet here he was faced with what he viewed as a truly negative turn of events.

I am quite an emotional person, and when something happens that either upsets my family, or me, I can find it hard to hear from God about it. So I did struggle and, in the end, simply asked God whether he would show me if it was right to talk to the school. An opportunity naturally arose, but it didn’t change the decision.

FACING THE NEW TERM

We prayed together the night before our son went back to school and his prayers revealed that he had grasped the understanding that he needed to give it a chance. While he was fairly resigned to the situation as he travelled into school, I think perhaps I found it more difficult waving him off than he did going in!

And in those first few days I saw God’s hand at work, for both my son and me. He was able to play with his friends at break and lunchtime, enjoyed being in a class with his new teacher and even came out one day saying that it was a nicer class overall!

On the first day, his teacher was on the gate when I dropped him off so I was able to chat to him. And the next day his teaching assistant was there. She has been with him for a few years, and was able to reassure me that she thought it was the best thing that could have happened to him. That his best friend, who has consistently been competition for him in a good way (they’ve helped motivate each other), had actually started becoming a distraction in the last year. So she felt it was good they had been split up.

I immediately felt flooded with peace when I heard this – and also felt a little nudge in my spirit. I had had an inkling that there may have been something like that behind the decision; whether that was simply my parental instinct or me hearing from God I can’t say for definite, but in that moment I certainly felt a confirmation that God has been looking out for our son all along.

GOD IS ALWAYS AT WORK

Of course, I know the truth that God loves my kids even more than I do, and that part of my job as a parent is to learn to entrust them more and more to him, but I also know that is a work in progress and I don’t always get it right (and it’s easier said than done sometimes).

I’m so glad our son is settling into school well so far, but I know there will still be challenges ahead. While he may be throwing himself into tackling the new situation at school head on, his behaviour at home still isn’t great and we are navigating the whole ‘disciplining with lashings of grace’ right now.

But I am really grateful for the glimpse of seeing God at work in our son’s life – and I know I definitely needed the reminder to trust God with my kids (especially as the oldest one has just become a teenager! 😉 )

 

 

 

Accepting God’s adventures

In the run up to the school summer holidays our daughter was able to take part in the special celebrations the Guides were having due to their 100th anniversary. She has been part of Brownies for almost three years now. Her first weekend away with them happened to coincide with my 40th birthday so I endured a weekend of worrying and wondering how she was!

My daughter is so much like me it can be quite scary. Confident, chatty and sociable within circles of people she feels secure with, she becomes a totally different person out of her comfort zone; shy, fearful and so, so quiet. She won’t take risks, drawing back into herself to keep safe.

So when it came time for this year’s adventure weekend she wasn’t sure she wanted to go. I really encouraged her to because it was a special celebration and I didn’t want her to miss out (and we had paid a fair amount of money for it!). Well, she totally blew us away with the vigour in which she grabbed hold of every element of the weekend.

Her leader captured her mood brilliantly in a picture that shows her dangling from a harness having just stacked and climbed crates – her face is beaming with a huge smile and she looks like she’s full-belly laughing. It was a joy to see – and even better when she said that that was what she had been like all weekend. She commented, “I now know the real girl, the one you’ve been telling me about all this time.”

A few weeks later, the Brownie pack spent a day in Windsor, bungee trampolining and zorbing. Again, I wasn’t sure how much she would join in, but apparently it was all brilliant fun and “zorbing was the best”!

Knowing that our daughter grabbed all the opportunities set before her and enjoyed them so much gave us such pleasure. And that’s how God responds when we really enjoy something He’s invited us to partake in.

To read the rest of this article please click here.

The fickleness of freelance life…

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This week is stretching before me as a long, black hole of nothingness, making me feel somewhat fed up and disillusioned. Why? (And yes I know I’m being overdramatic – but that’s how I’m feeling today. Please cut me some slack.) Because only a few weeks ago I was busy – far too busy – writing for various clients, enjoying new opportunities and so so grateful to God for allowing my career to develop in such a way. But the life of a freelancer is rather fickle and here I am with only unpaid work to do for the foreseeable future. Don’t get me wrong, I’m grateful for the chance to write for everyone that I do write for, and I know that each piece I do is helping to create my portfolio, and ‘gets my name out there’ (a very strange concept I still struggle with!). But for someone like me, who yes, loves to write, but is also doing it in order to help pay the bills, having weeks with no paid work is really frustrating. And it also immediately raises questions in my mind – ‘am I really good enough?’; ‘have people decided they don’t like my writing?’. I know, in my rational head, that it isn’t down to me when opportunities dry up – more often than not it is due to budgets or the fact that there are so many other writers out there trying to do the same thing. But in my irrational head there can be a torrent of self-doubt that threatens to flood my very soul…

I know, over and above everything, that the opportunities that have come my way have been granted by God. I also know that it is in these leaner times that I have to believe and trust that God has my back – He knows where the next paying job is coming from and He isn’t going to lead me so far just to let me fall flat on my face. I also know I’m not the only freelancer to feel like this. It goes with the territory. Just last night I was with all our neighbours for a Jubilee Street Party planning meeting and one lady was talking about how next week is pay day, just in time for the long weekend. I can’t remember the last time I was paid my wages regularly, so that I knew both the amount that was coming in every month and which day it would appear. That is one of the benefits that you give up when you become freelance. I’m not moaning about that, as I feel that freelance life is perfect for me and my family. However, it can be frustrating when you do a piece of work but then have to wait months to be paid for it. Let’s face it – some clients are really good at paying, and others aren’t. But, again, I need to trust God that He knows what money I still have owed to me – and He knows what my family needs in order to survive. I’m very much a person who likes to be in control, and also likes ‘doing’ – so that I feel I’ve contributed. So perhaps I’ve been called to this fickle freelance life because it constantly changes and, in doing so, knocks the rough edges of self-sufficiency and control freakishness off of me. I don’t like it when I don’t know where the next job will come from; I don’t like it when I don’t know if I’ll be paid for any work this month or not. And yet, I’m still very grateful to be able to do a job that I love, that I believe utilises God-given talents in me. So, I will pick myself up, speak to my soul, and get on and do every piece of work I have this week to the best of my ability…