Tag: Valentine’s Day

The Father’s Valentine

Our church book group is working through The Father’s Kiss by Tracy Williamson at the moment. As it is Valentine’s Day, I asked her whether she could write a guest blog about the Father’s love. I’m sure you will agree that her personal story of God’s cherishing of her is a wonderful reminder to us all to look out for evidence of His loving care in our daily lives.

Today when I opened my inbox, I found dozens of adverts for Valentine’s gifts: lovely bunches of red roses, beautiful necklaces, yummy chocolates…precious gifts from the lover to cherish their beloved. Lovely, but it made me feel a bit sad, as I am single and, apart from a short romance when I was 19, I have never experienced being cherished on Valentine’s Day.  

Suddenly, even as I became aware of that sadness, the thought came to me: ‘but I cherish you! You are my number one!’ 

I knew this was the Lord, my loving heavenly Father speaking to comfort me and give me the joy of being beloved, even though I am single. And I realised that only His love is truly cherishing and life-giving to us all. While those of us who are single or in loveless relationships may feel left out on Valentines’ Day, our loving Heavenly Father never misses any of us out. John 3:16 says ‘For God so loved the world…’

His wonderful love is for us all whether married or alone, young or old….

I wonder if you know how much He cherishes and delights in you? I believe that today He wants to show you His love in a special way. He knows each of us inside out, which means the ways we experience His love will be varied but all will contain true blessings, rainbow moments of knowing He is watching over us, providing for us and delighting in us.  

When I felt that momentary sadness at not being part of Valentine’s Day, I responded to my Heavenly Father by asking: ‘So how do you want to cherish me Father? Please show me your love today.’  

Some really precious things then happened while I was on a journey with my blind friend Marilyn. I am deaf and partially sighted myself and also have some balance difficulties. We had a heavy suitcase and were having to travel in the rush hour. I was a bit concerned how we would manage, as it was essential we got a certain train.  

Father whispered in my heart, ‘see how I cherish you’. To my amazement, at every step of the 4-hour journey He lavished care on us. One lady went out of her way to carry the case up and down stairs to the underground so that I could guide Marilyn and hold onto the rail myself too. People gave up their seats on the tube and when we went to the info counter at Euston the staff were kind and helpful and amazingly put us into the first class compartment!  

Then, to cap it all, there was an announcement to say there would be a complimentary breakfast in first class. We thought: ‘that’s nice but won’t apply to us as we haven’t got first class tickets’. But they did give it to us, so we enjoyed lovely posh food on china plates and tea and coffee in china cups! Afterwards Father whispered in my heart: ‘that was all just a tiny part of my Valentine’s kiss of love to you today. There’s much more to come!’

Father loves you and rejoices over you. He wants to kiss you with His blessing of care and love today. Ask Him to show you His cherishing love in a way that will be just right for you and He’ll delight to answer that prayer. 

Tracy Williamson

Tracy is an author and speaker working for MBM Trust with Marilyn Baker, the blind gospel singer. Tracy recently published her latest book The Father’s Kiss  (Authentic Media).



Love is… forgiveness and grace

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steveand-i-christmas2016I am sharing this post today to commemorate National Marriage Week as well as Valentine’s Day. I know that the latter is an over-commercialised event, but my husband and I grab it as an opportunity to take time out to spend with one another. I also wanted to share this post as it my story of grace – which is the subject of my friend James’ new book, Mosaic of Grace, released yesterday (you can check it out here). What I share below is taken from my own book, which will be published later this year. I first wrote this for Amy Boucher Pye’s Forgiveness Fridays blog, but feel it is an appropriate way to celebrate my own marriage today. If it weren’t for my husband’s forgiveness and grace extended towards me there is no way we would still be journeying together today…

 

Our lives were shattered – lying about in little pieces on the floor. And the worst thing was that it was pretty much all down to me. I had chosen to believe the lies, especially the one that whispered that my husband didn’t care about me. I believed it because he worked around the clock in a recording studio and there was little left of him when he was at home. I believed it because my heart was hurting and I was lonely…

Vulnerable and foolish

As a woman who had grown up with self-esteem issues, I didn’t deal well with feeling abandoned. When I came before God with my feelings that I didn’t matter to my husband, His answer was that He wanted to take care of me and show me how to lean on Him completely. But I threw it back in His face. I needed someone who could hug me – and God just didn’t seem physical enough at the time.

But this put me in danger of allowing my emotional needs to be fed by other sources. Eventually, a friendship with another man in my church, which had started innocently enough, resulted with us deciding to leave everything behind and to start a new life together. With our actions we devastated the lives of my husband, the man’s wife and all the other members of our close-knit church community.

Lost

Two weeks later he chose to go back to his wife. I was left reeling, feeling totally deserted – but also knowing I deserved it all. Tellingly, it was my husband whom I rang once the other guy left. After all, my husband had been my best friend since I was a teenager so it seemed natural and I called him without thinking. How hard it must have been for him to take me back home, watch me huddled in the foetal position, sobbing endlessly. The next day he moved me, and a lot of my belongings, to my parents’ home where I was to stay until I had healed enough to discover what was next for my life.

I had lost everything by wrongfully pinning my hopes on another human being rather than God. And I was like a wounded animal at times – licking my wounds, lashing out, wanting to be left alone. I can’t imagine what it must have been like for my husband going home, getting up for work each day and not knowing whether our marriage was salvageable.

Of course, we had deep issues that needed dealing with within our marriage. But I had to get to a place, first, of believing there was a future there. That I could look past all the years of hurt and misunderstanding and repent as well as forgive, and move on.

A taste of real love

When my husband visited me, at times I felt a little suffocated, as I knew he was trying his best to win me back. But, most of the time, he was gracious, gentle and loving, knowing also when to give me space. How he responded to me during that horrific time of limbo taught me what real love is. He showed me Jesus’ love for me in a very tangible way.

I had used him terribly – basically turned my back on him – and all our friends knew about it. And yet he was there, whenever I felt I could see him, a solid anchor who remained firm. He showed me that, even though I had done the worst thing I could to him, his love for me hadn’t faltered. He proved, over and over again, that he wanted our marriage to work.

Yes, we had counselling. And yes, we both had to face up to our failings, to understand the responsibility we had for one another and the changes that needed to occur. But his gentle patience during that time melted my hardened, broken heart. Even after I was back home, there would be moments when I would be wracked with emotional pain all over again and he would just hold me, caring for me through the tears.

Salvation through sacrifice

I know it must have been so, so excruciatingly difficult for him, and he certainly laid down his life for me. He also spoke to his bosses about what was going on, and the result was a miracle: studios always work around the clock but they agreed to put into practise the unheard of rule that the studio my husband ran would close by 8pm. Yes, his sacrifice saved our marriage – and revealed another layer of God’s love to me in such a powerful way.

Although this period of time was more than 16 years ago now, I can’t help but think of my husband’s loving sacrifice anytime I ponder the concept of forgiveness. You can read more of our story, and the passion for authentic openness that it birthed inside of me, in my forthcoming book: Taking off the mask: learning to live authentically.

Let’s celebrate – and fight for – marriage

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As we are in the middle of Marriage Week in the UK, and Valentine’s Day is fast approaching, I spent time reflecting on what marriage means to me in my latest column for Christian Today. To read the article please click here. If you enjoy it, or find it useful, please could you indicate by using the ‘like’ button on their webpage. Thanks so much.

I ended up with far too much material for that piece, so I’ve collected some of my other thoughts below. (They will make most sense read alongside the Christian Today column.) As you’ll see, I’ve learned a lot about my own weaknesses through being married: I certainly believe marriage holds up a mirror to the ugliest parts of our character. It does give us the opportunity to grow and change though, thankfully. Marriage also does not make us immune to the difficulties and trials we inevitably encounter in this life, but hopefully we learn to help one another up those mountains when they come…

couple-climbing-a-mountain

As a couple, we’ve certainly been through some crazy and difficult adventures. I’ve said before that one of the biggest surprises and challenges for me was when my husband became a pastor – I didn’t sign up for that, and really struggled to accept it to begin with. Now I view it as a privilege to be a part of his calling, as well as following my own wholeheartedly.

So here’s those points that didn’t make it into my latest column…

My husband needs me to learn to keep my mouth shut in public

I can be quite sarcastic and my humour often involves winding up people that I’m close to. But I have learned over time that my husband finds it incredibly difficult if I am sarcastic or make a joke of something he’s done or the way he’s been in front of other people.

I am also one that can’t bottle up my feelings but being angry or having an argument with my husband in public does not do our marriage any good. Keeping quiet while in public also gives me a chance to calm down and be a bit more objective – which I’ve never been that great at! 😉

Fighting for ways to feel connected is so important

There can be times when I’m at the end of myself – juggling work, looking after my kids, my roles within church and as a school governor can totally wring out me out to the point that I feel I have little left to give. I know as a busy pastor my husband can often feel wrung out by the end of a day too. And yet it is so so important to keep fighting for those moments of connection. We can work hard both separately and together. In those seasons when we are both focused on very different things, it can almost feel like we are like ships that pass in the night – roomies at best, strangers in the worst moments. But if we just stop for a few moments and check in with one another we both instantly feel like we are working towards a common goal and can support and understand where the other one is at. Somehow it lifts what can be a time of struggle, as we realise afresh that we are not alone.

We need to fight for marriage

I could make all sorts of points here about the way that society is diluting marriage, or how high the divorce rate is – but, while that’s all true, it’s not what I’m focusing on. While writing this I was reminded of a stark image I saw firsthand while visiting friends in another part of London. Right the way down a street were bits of ribbon tied to the telephone lines. I asked what they were, and was gobsmacked by the answer: each ribbon represented a Christian couple. Apparently there was a high proportion of witches in the area and they very openly shared that they cursed Christian marriages and called on powers to break them up. That really shook me, and made me realise the spiritual battle that we can be in as married couples. If we aren’t praying and fighting for our marriages then who will?