Living with dyslexia

I have the huge pleasure of introducing Sarah Grace to my blog. I know her as a confident and caring publisher – it wasn’t until she wrote this guest piece that I discovered she lives with dyslexia. Here, she describes how she manages to do so, and the tools she believes will help us all understand and manage our mental wellbeing more successfully. Before I hand over to her, I just want to remind you that last year for World Mental Health Day I highlighted some other writers who look at mental health in their work, in case you’d like to take another look at that article.

I think it’s wonderful that right in the middle of Dyslexia Awareness Week is World Mental Health Day, because there is such a link between the two. As I talk about in my book, Journey with Grace, dyslexia can lead to extreme anxiety and even suicidal thoughts. 

Recognising our strengths and limitations

Often dyslexia can be undiagnosed and understated. Dyslexics can often feel like we can be tripped up at any hurdle. It is not just ‘b’s’ and ‘d’s’ getting muddled; there are many unseen aspects to it. We may be able to tackle a task one day yet the very next day that same task seems difficult or even impossible. However, when we are honest with ourselves and others about the effects of dyslexia we are able to manage better. Rather than an excuse, owning, recognising and understanding both our limitations and our strengths helps us day to day. 

For example, on difficult days I try not to compare myself to how I am on better days. I have learned to go with what is happening on that day. So, if I am struggling with numbers, I will leave my accounts alone that day if I can, and wait to tackle them on a better day. I might find spelling difficult one day so I will delay writing an important email until I am less tired and see if it comes more easily at another time.

Capturing our thoughts

I have learned not to sweat the small stuff, to slow down and be kinder to myself. I try to see the bigger picture of life. Competing with ourselves and others can make life incredibly hard. We need to ask ourselves: is it thoughts in our head or is there really a competition going on? Making sense of this and letting go of the mental battle can be such a relief, as it is exhausting to keep it going with no resolve. 

I have learned how important it is to recognise the conversations that we have in our minds. We can capture the thoughts by speaking them out, perhaps to a counsellor, or through journaling, in order to see them for what they are and make sense of them. It can be hugely valuable to make ourselves this vulnerable, as it helps us to recognise and acknowledge how damaging the mental battles can be. It also helps us to move away from them. 

Slowing down in order to learn more

Alongside my book, I am publishing a journal called Journal with Grace in order to encourage readers to write down their feelings and emotional reactions in order to see the connections. I have learned that when we take time for ourselves, by slowing down and taking a step back from the business of life, we can see what is actually happening. We are then able to notice our own behaviour, our emotions, reactions, stresses, dreams and desires. 

During lockdown many of us had a chance to slow down, but when life started to open up again anxiety may have crept in. Making time each day to slow down, and be more aware of ourselves, our responses and the particular challenges we are facing that day, helps us to face the fear and understand what is behind it. We can also learn to break down the tasks that feel overwhelming into smaller steps. It is truly a privilege to give ourselves time to know ourselves, in order to face the fears and anxieties that stop us reaching our true selves and calling.

I do hope that Journey with Grace will help you take that time out, be inspired by the stories of transformation and find space to retreat, journal and discover how life can be enjoyed one day at a time.

Sarah Grace is an integrative psychotherapist in private practice and a director at Malcolm Down and Sarah Grace Publishing. Embracing her own life journey with dyslexia, she uses her counselling and coaching skills to work closely with clients, helping them lead a more fulfilling life.

World mental health day

A drawing my daughter did this week for ‘Inktober’, which I felt beautifully encapsulated how fragile we can sometimes feel.

Today is World Mental Health Awareness day. It is great that we have such important issues flagged up on special days, but of course, whether they are dealing with short-term or severe, long-term mental ill-health, many face difficult realities day in, day out. They are the heroes. The ones who have to be brave each and every day – just to get out of bed at times. And not only do they have to face their own inner critic, but, sadly, there is still so much stigma surrounding mental health issues. That is why anything that raises awareness is to be welcomed.

As I was doing research for a piece on Christian fiction for Premier Christianity magazine, which is due to be published in November’s issue, I was, for example, surprised and extremely pleased to learn that there are a number of novelists out there tackling this subject in a sensitive manner in their work.

There has been a plethora of blogs and comments via social media today, much of it more eloquent than I could probably be. So I decided that today I would let a few of those authors speak on this subject themselves, as they seek to provide deeper understanding amongst us all, as well as championing those who are facing this reality each day. 

May I encourage you to take time to learn more about mental ill-health, as I can assure you that you will know people who are struggling right now – perhaps you are yourself. Take time to read – either the fiction the authors below have written or some of the helpful non-fiction that Christian writers and counsellors have put together. I’ve suggested a few of each at the end of this blog.

Firstly, Sharon Garlough Brown has written the hugely successful Sensible Shoes series, which I have mentioned many times here. Her latest book is about Wren, a social worker and person of faith who has her own struggles with mental ill-health. Here is what Sharon told me about why she wanted to write about this subject: “With so many people suffering from mental health issues, I wanted to explore with deep compassion the struggles, heartaches and sense of isolation experienced not only by those afflicted with depression and anxiety, but by those who love them and often feel powerless to help.” 

Angela Hobday (writing as Annie Try) centres her novels around characters living with or overcoming mental health problems – and usually solving a mystery too! With her background as a clinical psychologist she has “worked with clients whose lives are destroyed partly by their mental illness but also by the attitudes of those around them. In my eyes, those who find every day a struggle yet still achieve their goals, or even attempt to, are heroes. I want them to be viewed as such by my readership.”

Fiction:

Shades of Light by Sharon Garlough Brown

Red Cabbage Blue by Annie Try

Non-fiction:

Honesty Over Silence by Patrick Regan

Learning to Breathe by Rachael Newham

The Power of Belonging by Will van der Hart and Rob Waller

The Insight Guides are incredibly helpful on all sorts of subjects, many connected with mental health issues. Here are three that I have had the privilege of working with experts on:

An Insight into Self-acceptance
An Insight into Shame
Insight into Burnout