When God delays

A pencil drawing my daughter did recently, which I think evocatively captures the fatigue and despair we can feel when we do not understand what is going on.

Reflections based on Matthew 1:18–25.

‘… he had in mind to divorce her quietly. But after he had considered this, an angel of the Lord appeared to him in a dream …’ (vv.19–20)

It is interesting to pause and consider why God revealed His plans to Mary and Joseph at different times. The angel Gabriel first spoke to Mary. So why didn’t God give Joseph his dream, which confirmed His plans for the virgin birth, on the same night? Then, when Mary and Joseph spoke together, they would have been able to reassure each other that they had both heard from God. That would seem to make sense, but God chose not to do it that way.

Joseph ‘had in mind’ to divorce Mary privately, to avoid public disgrace. He knew about her pregnancy, but could not bring himself to accept the explanation of divine conception. His was a perfectly understandable response, considering it had never happened before – in fact, he was being very gracious by considering divorcing her quietly. It would have been a difficult time of emotional turmoil for both of them, so why did God allow the delay?

In a similar vein, today we know why Jesus delayed turning to Bethany in order to heal the dying Lazarus, because it meant that God’s glory would be revealed to so many more through the much greater miracle of raising him from the dead. But for his sisters, Mary and Martha, the four days between Lazarus’ death and resurrection were full of grief, pain, confusion, anguish – and possibly anger towards Jesus (John 11:1–45). 

There may be no obvious reason to us as to why God allows a delay. His ways and timings are not ours and we can be perplexed by the ways He does things, and the timings He chooses. You may well be currently living through what seems like a painful delay in your own life.

For us all, the global pandemic has us experiencing loss, confusion and pain. I don’t understand why God seemingly delays, although, amidst the horrors, I have also seen and heard of His faithfulness. Like Mary and Martha, we don’t know the end of the story – but He does, and we can trust Him even when we also want to rant and rail about what is going on. Incredibly, He also comes and sits with us in the pain, inviting us to be honest about it. John 11 shows us that Jesus feels deep emotion too – He is willing to be the one that we cry on, but will also cry alongside us. There is something deeply mysterious but also beautiful about this.

Like Mary, the mother of Jesus, and Lazarus’ sisters Mary and Martha, when we are perplexed by what seems to be inexplicable delay, let us hold on to the knowledge of God’s perfect love and His never-changing goodness. 

Prayer: Father, when everything in me cries out for You to act and yet Your answer seems delayed, help me to cling on to the fact that You are good and that You love me more deeply than I comprehend. Your delays are for a purpose, even when I can’t see that.