Today we all heard the sad news that Prince Philip has passed away. Having watched my dad (mainly from afar due to Covid) cope with the death of my mum just over a year ago, I was immediately reminded of how tough it is to lose a life-time partner. How lost and alone you can feel.

I was really struck by what Rachel Gardner put on social media: “Today our Queen is simply a woman who has lost her beloved husband of 70 years.” How true that is.

Here are some of thoughts I’ve had today about marriage, grief and thankfulness.

FACING THE CHALLENGES

For any couple, reaching the milestone of 70 years of marriage is enormous, and it is so sad that Prince Philip was so close to his 100th birthday. Yes, they certainly had a privileged existence – I’m not here today to discuss whether I’m a royalist or anti-royalist. But they also had duties that would have added extra strain to their relationship.

Deep down, however, they were still a couple who managed to stick together for an incredible amount of time. In our forthcoming book, Grace-Filled Marriage, blogger Lucy Rycroft from The Hope-filled Family, commented on the lessons she learned about marriage from watching The Crown. Here is the section from our book that discusses what she said: “Obviously a work of fiction, she [Lucy] spoke of how refreshing it was ‘that the script has been written to highlight tensions and situations that are very believable . . . One thing I particularly like is the way Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip’s marriage is portrayed, warts and all.’

“Despite the fact they are not a ‘normal’ couple, the Queen and Prince Philip undoubtedly face the same struggles that other couples do. There must be times when one of them finds the other tiresome, or they simply feel like they are out of touch with one another. In her blog, Lucy looks at an episode during which the Queen finishes a gruelling world tour, Philip goes on his own tour for a month, and when he comes back the Queen speaks candidly about the fact that divorce is not an option for them. She asks Prince Philip what it would take for him to be invested wholeheartedly in their marriage again.”

FAITH AS THE FUEL

That episode obviously covered both the sense of duty but also the fact that the marriage was under pressure. While we don’t know exactly what happened within their marriage, it is easy to imagine that there could have been moments like that. Knowing how strong the Queen’s faith is, I can also imagine that it helped strengthen and keep her resolve within her marriage, as well as other scenarios.

While we might not face the same situations that they did in their marriage, each one of our relationships will face different stresses and strains. May our faith fuel our responses too.

BEING THANKFUL

I am sure that the Queen is feeling the full weight of grief right now – and that she will continue journeying with it. While a strong, solid figure, she is also an elderly woman who no longer has the man who was always by her side. That is going to take some getting used to, however many ‘officials’ she has around her day by day.

While the prince had been ill for some time, when a loved one finally dies the pang of separation is no less because it was expected. But I think today is a stark reminder to us of two things: 1. the importance of togetherness in our marriage, whatever pressure it may be under; 2. how vital it is to be thankful for one another every single day, as we never know when it will be our last one together.

Let us pray for our Queen, that she may be comforted by God’s presence in her grief. And, as we consider marriage, grief and thankfulness, may we take time to reflect on our own relationships and thank God for them. Can you find a practical way to show your husband or wife how much they mean to you this weekend?

• I haven’t used a picture of the Queen, as I worked on a magazine during her 80th birthday and the rules surrounding using images of her are so strict I wouldn’t want to get anything wrong! But I also thought using a stock photo brings home the message that actually she is simply like any wife who has just lost her husband… Whatever our circumstances, death is the great leveller.