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Jesus’ humanness

Photo by Hussein Altameemi from Pexels

I am delighted to welcome Jo Acharya to my blog today, as part of the blog tour for her devotional book Refresh: a wellness devotional for the whole Christian life (Do check out the details at the end for your chance to win a copy!) Here, she invites us to take time to consider Jesus’ humanness and what impact it can have on our lives today. 

She moves lightly around the small room. The baby she holds against her shoulder is whimpering, and she talks to him in a lyrical voice as she pats his back. Eventually the child lets out a small burp, and she brings him round to face her. She smiles, cradling his head in one hand while she wipes the milky mixture from his tiny mouth with the other. And then she kisses his forehead and begins to sing, a version of the song that first flowed from her lips in the early days of her pregnancy: “My soul magnifies the Lord…”

Imagining Jesus’ everyday life

We could imagine many more vignettes like this. Perhaps Jesus’ legs repeatedly giving way when he first tries to stand as a toddler, or mispronouncing difficult letters in his early words. Perhaps Joseph teaching him to cut straight pieces of wood with a saw or Mary showing him how to knead bread. We might picture Jesus diligently memorising passages of scripture as a boy, or laughing and eating with his friends as an adult.

In a way these scenes are easy to imagine because we’ve seen them a hundred times. This is the everyday stuff of human life. But thinking of Jesus this way can be mind-blowing. That God himself chose to enter fully into this human life, even confining himself to a physical human body, is one of the greatest mysteries of the Christian faith. That he came to us as a helpless newborn baby, totally reliant on an inexperienced young woman to keep him alive and clean and well-fed, is even more remarkable.

When the ordinary becomes sacred

One of the central themes in my devotional is that when we invite God into the everyday stuff of our lives, ordinary things become sacred; from our relationships and emotions right down to our very bodies. In Refresh I look at the complex relationships we all have with our bodies, and how Jesus’ unpolished humanness gives extraordinary dignity and worth to our own.

After all, our whole lives are lived in and through our bodies. Like Jesus, we are all physical beings in a physical world, and we can’t do a thing without using some part of our physical form. God created us this way, and he called his creation good. Despite the sin, the sickness, the damage we have sustained in this fallen world, to be human is still a precious and miraculous thing.

What Jesus’ humanness means for us

I sometimes wonder when Jesus knew he was different. Was there a lightbulb moment, or was the knowledge of his identity always there, gradually coming into focus as his self-awareness developed? And then I think of his parents. How do you mother the Messiah? I imagine this simple couple, the carpenter and his wife, simply doing what all good parents do. Loving their children, passing on values and traditions, making mistakes, giving their best.

Jesus’ human life was a real human life. It wasn’t a pretence – he wasn’t an actor playing a role. He didn’t resent his humanity, he embraced it. Even after his resurrection, his glorified body was a glorified human body. This matters. It matters because being human is good, and we need to know that God is glad to share in our humanity with us. It matters because being human in a fallen world is hard, and we need to know that Jesus has experienced that too. And it matters because being human is a team effort. We can’t do it alone, and we don’t have to. You and I have a team-mate in heaven with God, constantly interceding for us. This is what Jesus’ humanity means. The burping baby, the unsteady toddler, the compassionate carpenter. The great King and High Priest who is able to empathise with you and me.

Free copy!

Jo has generously offered to give a copy of her book away to one of my readers (she will send it direct). In order to be in with a chance of winning, do sign up to my newsletter by filling in the form here (I promise not to bombard you – I send a newsletter out around once a term/quarter), or if you’re already signed up just drop a comment below.

Jo Acharya is a writer and music therapist. Her first book, Refresh: a wellness devotional for the whole Christian life is available from all good bookshops. You can read more of Jo’s writing and buy signed copies of Refreshat ValleyOfSprings.com, and you can follow her on social media at Facebook.com/ValleyOfSprings and Instagram.com/ValleyOfSprings.

A word for the year

I have the great pleasure of taking part in a mini series of blogs for Woman Alive on spiritual disciplines during January. The content will be reposted here, so that I can share what I have written with you. I hope the three blogs over the next few weeks are an encouragement to you.

In recent years, the idea of choosing a word for the year that is then focused on and regularly prayed into has become popular among Christians. The book My One Word (Zondervan), came from a challenge that one of the authors gave their church back in 2007 to ditch New Year’s resolutions and instead focus on a word that year.

Trying it out for myself

I am not one to jump on bandwagons, and actually avoided the trend to begin with. Then, at the start of 2017, I felt God impress on me that he wanted me to focus on a particular word in the coming year: ‘humility’. That word really stretched and challenged me in ways I couldn’t have imagined, which resulted in me working on my character. For example, I found myself in situations where I felt the need to ‘fight my corner’, and God stopped me in my tracks by simply whispering: ‘humility’. Rather than going off ‘all guns blazing’, I took the time to slow down and pray. I experienced peace as a result, and lost the overwhelming desire to react.

Since then, I can honestly say that the word for the year has become a great discipleship tool in my life. I have been surprised by the words that have come, and how much God has used them to shape me.

There have been years when the words have seemed strange – out of place even. For example, in 2020 my word for the year was ‘delight’ – by that February my mum had died and then the pandemic hit. I had to dig deep to find out what treasure God wanted me to learn about delight. I discovered that he wanted to teach me how to delight in him despite my circumstances, and meditate on how he delights in me. Last year my word was ‘rest’, and it was one of the hardest, most gruelling years I’ve ever had. I came to understand how God’s rest is necessary for survival rather than a nice optional extra within a busy life.

I don’t like doing anything under compulsion, so certainly wouldn’t want to add to a list of ‘ought tos’ in your life. However, I have found choosing a word for the year has been life-giving in so many ways, and would recommend you try it out.

Choosing a word for the year yourself

Each time I have chosen a word, I have simply prayed and asked God for a word. I have then taken a few weeks to see if the word that I sensed was in fact the right one. I have also prayed it through with close friends.

If you feel that you need step-by-step guidance, then My One Word provides clear advice on how to choose a word for the year. For example, it suggests that you pick a word that ‘centres on your character and creates a vision for your future’. The book takes you through the process of how to narrow down everything you want to achieve during the year into that one word.

Once you have a word, you may find it helpful (as I have) to let a few trusted friends know what it is so that they can be praying for you. You might like to invite them to ask God for a word for themselves too, so that you can be supporting one another. I hope and pray that you are blessed by choosing a word for this year.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

Behind the sparkle of Isabella M Smugge

I am delighted to welcome Ruth Leigh to my blog, to celebrate the publication of her second novel: The Trials of Isabella M Smugge. I was hooked within a few seconds when reading the first in the series, and this second one hasn’t disappointed. It is funny, heartwarming, honest, and doesn’t shy away from the difficulties life can throw at us. Here, Ruth lifts the lid on what life is like for her as a fiction writer and mum.

When I first invented my ludicrously successful ‘Instamum’ star, Isabella M Smugge, she was simply a comic device, a woman who couldn’t have been more different to me. I reside in a draughty semi-detached Victorian house, heated by an ancient Rayburn. This means lots of cobwebs and grime, although there are charming original features (windows that let in the wind, nice red tiles in the dining room, smoke-blackened fireplace). Isabella dwells in a Grade II listed Georgian house, clean and sparkling as you like (because someone else is paid to do it), heated via oil I would imagine and with more reception rooms than you can shake a stick at. 

My garden is very on-trend. I thought you might like to know that. It’s rewilded. So now! (As in it’s full of weeds, the hedge needs trimming, the bushes need cutting back and there are plants growing where no plant should be.) Isabella’s acreage is a delightful panorama of velvety green lawn, charming flowerbeds and a Victorian greenhouse full of produce. Oh, and she likes to have her coffee in the reclaimed Edwardian gazebo by the pond. 

The reality of this writer’s life

Even though I know perfectly well that success is 10 per cent inspiration and 90 per cent perspiration, before I was one, I thought that fiction writers were a different breed, ethereal, other-worldly, inhabiting a more gracious, beautiful universe.

If you are a fiction writer and this is your reality, do let me know. Feel free to share your secrets. Because I could really do with knowing. Let me open a little window into the insanity that is the Leigh household first thing in the morning. 

Unusually yesterday morning, all three children were in residence and required driving to various places of education. My normal routine is to fall out of bed, wander about a bit drinking tea and making packed lunches then drive the 13- and 15-year-old to school. Yesterday, the 18-year-old, slightly fragile after a night in the public house with a friend was part of the matrix. 

It was School Sponsored Walk Day. Standing in front of the mirror in the downstairs loo applying make-up ahead of Lovely Jason’s visit (it was book launch day and he shot a short video), I was joined by said children. One was dressed as a frog, complete with hat, the other was brandishing a large rubber horse’s head. As I tried to put on eyeliner in a straight line, my daughter stood behind my right shoulder, gurning at me in the mirror and flicking her tongue in and out while making frog noises (I suspect mimicking catching a fly) while my son nibbled at my elbow with the horse teeth. 

This would never happen to Isabella M Smugge.

“Can I just mention that your mother, the author, has a big day today,” I quavered, rubbing concealer on to my huge eye bags. “My new book is launched! It’s in the shops and everything.”

Neither of them seemed that bothered. “Well done you!” my son said kindly, patting me on the shoulder from a great height (he’s 6 foot 1”). Scrambling into the car to do the double run (high school in Woodbridge followed by college in Ipswich), we bounced off down the flooded lane, muddy water running off the fields and optimistic white clouds scudding across the rain-washed blue sky. I began to wonder what I would write about for the second half of this blog. Five minutes later, it had written itself.

Hands-on parenting

For years and years, no car journey was complete without at least one mild row or wrangle. Today, hearing their voices rise and fall in good-natured abuse, I smiled to myself. Once upon a time, the exhausted mother of three little children, I yearned to have peace and quiet, to be able to go to the loo alone, to drink a cup of tea that was somewhere between boiling and tepid. 

Now I can, but it’s the end of one season and the beginning of the next. They can still dish it out though.

Son #2: “Who were you talking to outside last night? I could hear you going on and on in my room! Do you know what time it was? [Impression of growly voice].”

Son #1: “I was talking to Evie! She wanted to know I’d got back all right. And what about you? All I could hear the other night was [second impression of growly voice].”

Son #2: “I was talking to Shay! We were saying goodnight! And anyway, what about Katie, FaceTiming her friends?”

Son #1 and Son#2: “Ooh, hello, how are you, giggle giggle, make-up, Netflix [impression of teenage girls].

Daughter: “Shut up! I haven’t talked to them at night for AGES! And I don’t talk like that.”

Son #1: “Ooh ooh!”

Me: “That sounds like that bit in Feelgood Inc by Gorillaz.”

Son #1: “So it does! Ooh ooh!”

Me: “Ooh ooh!”

And so it went on, everyone smiling and a general air of bonhomie in the car.

I dropped off the frog and the horse and continued to Ipswich. Thanks kids. The chaos, the rowing, the lost hoodie, the last-minute packed lunch – all grist to the mill. My heroine is new to the crazy world of actually parenting your children yourself, but she’s learning fast. 

My house is messy and dusty, my garden is wild. But heck, authenticity is what it’s all about and here’s my truth. Behind the sparkle lies inspiration, exhaustion, innovation and a bit more exhaustion. 

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ruth Leigh is a novelist and freelance writer based in beautiful rural Suffolk where she lives with three children,one husband, a kitten and assorted poultry. She is a book reviewer for Reading Between the Lines and loves nothing more than losing herself in a good book. You can find out more about her and the world of Isabella M Smugge at ruthleighwrites

Summer news

I wanted to share my summer news as I realise that I have been pretty quiet – both in terms of newsletters and here on my website. That wasn’t an intentional decision, but a necessary result of some things we are walking through right now. This summer I have taken extra time out with my kids alongside helping out at a magazine whose editor is ill. But here are some things that have come out recently (although I worked on them a while ago) that I’d like to flag up to you (and so I’ve included the information here and in my newsletter, which you can sign up to receive here):

Return of regular column

I used to write every other week for Christian Today but haven’t done so for a number of years. Recently, they invited me back, so I started with once a month over the summer. In July I encouraged us all to go gently as we begin to meet together again, and for August wrote about taking time to lament.

A piece on waiting

I was so pleased to be able to write about this subject, as it has been one on my heart for a while. It featured in August’s issue of Premier Christianity, but can be accessed here.

Writing for Preach magazine

I was thrilled when my first pitch to this magazine was accepted, and I now have an article in the current issue, which is on grief and lament. Unfortunately I can’t share a link to it, but the whole magazine is available to purchase either in print or online here.

Marriage, grief and thankfulness

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Photo by Jeremy Wong on Unsplash*

Today we all heard the sad news that Prince Philip has passed away. Having watched my dad (mainly from afar due to Covid) cope with the death of my mum just over a year ago, I was immediately reminded of how tough it is to lose a life-time partner. How lost and alone you can feel.

I was really struck by what Rachel Gardner put on social media: “Today our Queen is simply a woman who has lost her beloved husband of 70 years.” How true that is.

Here are some of thoughts I’ve had today about marriage, grief and thankfulness.

FACING THE CHALLENGES

For any couple, reaching the milestone of 70 years of marriage is enormous, and it is so sad that Prince Philip was so close to his 100th birthday. Yes, they certainly had a privileged existence – I’m not here today to discuss whether I’m a royalist or anti-royalist. But they also had duties that would have added extra strain to their relationship.

Deep down, however, they were still a couple who managed to stick together for an incredible amount of time. In our forthcoming book, Grace-Filled Marriage, blogger Lucy Rycroft from The Hope-filled Family, commented on the lessons she learned about marriage from watching The Crown. Here is the section from our book that discusses what she said: “Obviously a work of fiction, she [Lucy] spoke of how refreshing it was ‘that the script has been written to highlight tensions and situations that are very believable . . . One thing I particularly like is the way Queen Elizabeth and Prince Philip’s marriage is portrayed, warts and all.’

“Despite the fact they are not a ‘normal’ couple, the Queen and Prince Philip undoubtedly face the same struggles that other couples do. There must be times when one of them finds the other tiresome, or they simply feel like they are out of touch with one another. In her blog, Lucy looks at an episode during which the Queen finishes a gruelling world tour, Philip goes on his own tour for a month, and when he comes back the Queen speaks candidly about the fact that divorce is not an option for them. She asks Prince Philip what it would take for him to be invested wholeheartedly in their marriage again.”

FAITH AS THE FUEL

That episode obviously covered both the sense of duty but also the fact that the marriage was under pressure. While we don’t know exactly what happened within their marriage, it is easy to imagine that there could have been moments like that. Knowing how strong the Queen’s faith is, I can also imagine that it helped strengthen and keep her resolve within her marriage, as well as other scenarios.

While we might not face the same situations that they did in their marriage, each one of our relationships will face different stresses and strains. May our faith fuel our responses too.

BEING THANKFUL

I am sure that the Queen is feeling the full weight of grief right now – and that she will continue journeying with it. While a strong, solid figure, she is also an elderly woman who no longer has the man who was always by her side. That is going to take some getting used to, however many ‘officials’ she has around her day by day.

While the prince had been ill for some time, when a loved one finally dies the pang of separation is no less because it was expected. But I think today is a stark reminder to us of two things: 1. the importance of togetherness in our marriage, whatever pressure it may be under; 2. how vital it is to be thankful for one another every single day, as we never know when it will be our last one together.

Let us pray for our Queen, that she may be comforted by God’s presence in her grief. And, as we consider marriage, grief and thankfulness, may we take time to reflect on our own relationships and thank God for them. Can you find a practical way to show your husband or wife how much they mean to you this weekend?

  • I haven’t used a picture of the Queen, as I worked on a magazine during her 80th birthday and the rules surrounding using images of her are so strict I wouldn’t want to get anything wrong! But I also thought using a stock photo brings home the message that actually she is simply like any wife who has just lost her husband… Whatever our circumstances, death is the great leveller.

Grace-filled Marriage

You may have noticed that I haven’t posted my usual weekly devotional. Last week we ended our series looking at ‘Self’ and I have decided to briefly pause before starting a new devotional series. This will just be for a short time, so that I can get to grips with all I need to do in the run up to the publication of Grace-filled Marriage. I am just setting up the launch group, so please see below details on how to join if you are interested.

JOIN THE LAUNCH GROUP!

Grace-filled Marriage is being published on 7 May, and we are currently looking for people to join our launch group, to help promote the book in the run up to publication.

The group will be centred around a Facebook group (but not exclusively so – please do get in touch if you are not on Facebook but still want to be involved). There we can share promotional ideas, and I will post up links and memes for you to share.

A watermarked review copy of the book in PDF format will be available as soon as you sign up, so that you can read it in advance of publication. (Please do not share this – it is for your eyes only and a perk of being part of the launch group.) Obviously, we would love you to buy your own physical copy once it is out – from your local Christian bookshop, direct from my website or via Amazon. We would also ask that you post a review on as many sites as you can on publication day or as soon after as you can (sites such as Amazon and Goodreads).

To join to the group, please go to Grace-filled Marriage Group where you will be asked to answer three questions. Once I have approved you, please do introduce yourself!

You will also have an opportunity, as part of the Grace-filled Marriage launch group, to get a (free) ticket for the launch party. This will take place on Zoom, which means we will only have 100 tickets (which will be issued on a first come, first served basis). We will also be livestreaming to Facebook so it is possible to watch there too, but to be on the actual Zoom call you will need a ticket.

PART OF THE BIG CHURCH READ!

The Big Church Read is a fairly new project, aimed at encouraging churches to get people reading books and then discussing them together. Authors are providing a set of short videos, plus a reading guide and discussion questions. Our series will be starting on 17 May, but you can see the introductory video if you click on the image below. To find out more do take a look at our Grace-filled Marriage Big Church Read page. 

The healing power of words

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I am delighted to welcome Joy Margetts to my blog, to explain more about the painful yet healing personal story behind her new book The Healing.

I knew almost as soon as I began writing my novel that it was going to be called The Healing. 

A PEACEFUL ‘DOWNLOAD’

The story is a fictional tale. It had come to me, almost as a download, while I sat in the ruins of a Cistercian Abbey on a sunny summer day back in 2019. I was enjoying the deep peace and serenity of the moment, and wondering, in conversation with God, whether the abbey communities of the past had been places where some, at least, could have come and found healing for their souls. The answer I heard was a whispered ‘yes’. 

So the story came. A medieval knight, wounded physically, emotionally and spiritually, finds himself rescued from a French roadside ditch, by a kind Cistercian monk. In order to return to his homeland of Wales incognito, Philip de Braose, aided by his new friend, Brother Hywel, disguises himself as a monk. He finds himself on a journey where he not only becomes immersed in the Cistercian world, but also comes to terms with his pain, reconnects with the God he had long abandoned, and experiences a deep and profound healing: mind, body and soul. Philip then gets the opportunity to restart his life and live it the way God had always intended him to live it. A changed man with a renewed purpose.

MY OWN HEALING

My novel is a story of one man’s healing, but it is so much more. Because it is also my healing. I was able to write this book because it came straight out of my own experience. The truths that Hywel shares with Philip are the things I had to learn, and relearn, during one of the most painful times of my life. 

Eight years ago, I was happy with life. My children were reaching adulthood and beginning to fly the nest. I had a loving husband, a part-time job I loved, and I was actively involved in local church, with a God-given teaching ministry that I relished. Then out of the blue everything changed. I became ill with what was later diagnosed as ME (Chronic Fatigue Syndrome) and my world as I knew it was turned upside down. It was as if I hit a wall, emotionally and spiritually, and I could not find God in it at all.

The sense of betrayal was real. I had always trusted Him, and known His faithfulness throughout my life. I had suffered, and indeed experienced healing before. But this time I did not have the strength to fight, to even believe in His goodness any more. Despite how I felt, God had not abandoned me. He proved that by the loving people who surrounded me with their kindness, who prayed when I could not, and who spoke words of truth with love: healing words.

BELIEVING GOD’S WORDS

At the end of each chapter of The Healing are verses from scripture. Each one is special to me, because these are some of the words and promises that I was gently reminded of during that time. I had to make the choice to believe what God was saying, what His word was speaking into my soul. I had to chose to hope in His promises and believe that He was going to fulfil them in my life.

The word of God became my safe place, especially when my mind was under attack. Every day, I read what I could; those words gave me strength and God used them to do a healing work in me. Slowly and gently, graciously and lovingly, God restored my broken spirit, and my wounded soul. He also did a physical healing work in me that is still ongoing. Now I can live a much less restricted life. I can now teach. And I can write. I can again share words that hopefully will bring His healing.

In all of my affliction I find great comfort in your promises, for they have kept me alive!  (Psalm 119:50, TPT)

THE ROAD TO PUBLICATION

I did not set out to write a book for publication. I wrote a story that echoed my own. I found even the writing process a healing one. Remembering all the things that God had taught and reminded me of. Enjoying revisiting those hope-filled promises. And realising, with joyful amazement, just how far I had come. When I had finished writing, it was God I believe who prompted me to send it off to a publisher. That first publisher miraculously offered to publish and here we are now. I am an unexpected author of medieval fiction, and my first book is in print! 

My prayer for The Healing, is not only that people will enjoy reading Philip’s story, but that they will also find within the words of my novel kisses from a God who loves to heal.

The Lord is close to all whose hearts are crushed by pain, and he is always ready to restore the repentant one.       (Psalm 34:18 TPT)

Joy Margetts describes herself as ‘a fifty something mother of two grown children’ who lives on the beautiful North Wales Coast. The natural beauty and history of the area inspires her writing. The Healing will be published by Instant Apostle on 19 March 2021. Pre-publication, signed copies are available from the author at www.joymargetts.com

Grief a year on…

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Warning: this is a long and extremely honest look back over my grief journey during the past 12 months. Today marks the first anniversary of Mum’s death. What a year it has been; none of us could have predicted that just after we said goodbye to her, the world would be thrust into a pandemic. That everything we took for granted would suddenly be pulled out from under us. And that a year later, we would still be living under restrictions with the death toll, and mental health toll, continuing to rise each and every day.

MY JOURNEY

I have had many responses over the last year, some probably due to ‘normal’ grief and others directly related to what we are all living through.

A little over a month after Mum died, I led my last worship service in our church building before we shut down. (On Mother’s Day – not great planning to put myself down on that day.) And then we were thrust into the busyness of getting the church online. While my husband (our lead pastor) had a great tech guy helping him as they hurriedly learned new skills, our family was heavily involved week by week. The ongoing pastoring of those in our church was something I gladly undertook with him too. 

Until the times when I felt overwhelmed. And then I began to realise I had a little resentment rising up. Not about helping others, but simply that I hadn’t had the time or space to grieve. And that my grief had actually been overshadowed by our nation’s, by the world’s, grief. From my perspective, that didn’t seem fair. But that was closely followed by guilt for feeling that way, especially when I had had the privilege of sitting next to my mum for the ten days it took for her to go and be with Jesus. 

Night and day I had remained in my parent’s home, and the final night we sat in her room with her until she took her last breath in the early hours of the next day. I know so many have lost loved ones this year without being able to say goodbye in person, and my heart aches for them. I have also thought, too, of those trapped in deep poverty who are dealing with the same kind of chronic illnesses Mum had. Although Mum’s life was difficult, her home was comfortable.

I have railed at God, asking him deep and personal questions about suffering that I have wrestled with over the years. But, for all my railings, there have often been times of being overcome with thankfulness too, that God took Mum when he did. One of the many diseases she had was a respiratory one, and I know she would have been particularly susceptible to, and petrified of, Covid. Just a month later and we may well have been saying goodbye from afar too. And I am so grateful her final days contained no knowledge of what was to come.

RENEWED FAITH

Recently, I have been engaging with the twice daily zoom calls for the young woman Hannah, struck down suddenly with a bleed on the brain. I know her family and husband of just a few short months may have initially opened up those calls to anyone out of desperation, in order to get as many people as possible praying for her. But they have become a source of inspiration, faith and unity for so many, as well as upholding them in their incredible personal journey. 

The honesty and openness with which they have generously shared their raw pain but also huge faith in the goodness of God has been a breath of fresh air and life to me. I am passionate about honesty within the Church, and it is so refreshing to see how willing they are to share. But it has also reawakened faith and stirred up passion in me again. That was something I desperately needed, and hadn’t realised how much it had dulled until it had been reawakened. 

RECOGNISING THE IMPACT

The years of painful, unanswered prayers and the impact that has had on our unsaved dad as well as Mum have taken their toll. As a church leader I have felt guilty for not having huge levels of faith when praying for the sick, although I have always fully believed that God can and is willing to heal miraculously today. I have certainly known the truth of this verse: ‘Hope deferred makes the heart sick’ (Proverbs 13:12).

I know that God’s ways are higher than ours, but there are times when we really do wonder what he is up to! I certainly questioned his methods when Mum went to church in a wheelchair and came out running…but it didn’t last. Surely a miraculous, lasting healing would have made more sense and had a bigger impact on Dad? But I have to trust her quiet, determined and immensely strong faith in the midst of such trouble and affliction spoke even louder…

CONTINUED WRESTLING

That is not to say I don’t still have doubts, and questions. It has been incredible to listen to the stories of miraculous healings from others who have come on the zoom calls to encourage and spur on Hannah’s family – stating that because God healed their family member or friend he will do it for her. I do rejoice and my faith does rise, but so too do the questions.

I totally understand that when a young woman like Hannah is suddenly struck down it isn’t right, and the Church should be praying for healing and against any work of the enemy.

But…

It makes me ask – what about those who aren’t healed? What about those dear, faithful Christians who live with chronic illnesses for years. Specifically, what about my mum?

I know she was an older woman, who had suffered tremendously in her last few decades. But she had actually been ill for much of her life. We almost lost her just after I was born – and that certainly cemented the end of her relationship with my biological father. While she did embrace life and did achieve much, my childhood and adolescence were littered with sickness, and life or death operations became all too familiar over the years.

So, there is a deep pain, and many questions there, which I continue to wrestle with at times. 

For Mum the question changed from ‘why me?’ to ‘why not me?’. She felt she needed to give up her right to understand. There were moments when darkness enveloped her but she always clung to the knowledge that God was with her even when she couldn’t sense his presence. 

A CALL TO PRAYER

I do know God is good, and I know that Mum always stood on that truth. I know her resolute faith in the midst of severe, life-altering pain spoke to many, not least me, and I hold on to the promise that her example will one day draw Dad to his own faith. 

Mum clung on to life for many extra months, even when she was desperate to go home, just to see Dad’s salvation. That is, until my sister and I spoke to her of letting go – that we may be the ones to see the fruition of the promise God gave her so many decades ago.

When her strength was fading and her physical abilities shrunk her world to their living room, Mum began to feel useless. Then God spoke to her about the need for her prayers, because so many are too busy these days to be the prayer warriors he looks for. She took up that call and prayed faithfully for all those God placed on her heart. 

That is a mantle I believe God is waking us all up to, and that the situation with Hannah is helping with too. Yes, we have authority as God’s children and yes, our prayers do make a difference. My mum, as her life was ebbing away and she was crippled with pain, refused to stop praying. It became much more difficult but she never gave up. The importance of prayer is something that I have learned from her, and have had emphasised in recent weeks on the zoom calls.

MUM’S LEGACY

I think the best way I can honour Mum’s memory is by being as stubborn in my absolute faith and trust in God as she was – and by going deeper in my prayer life too.

So, while I may still have questions, and while the waves of grief still feel overwhelming at times, I thank God for who my mum was, and the legacy that she has left behind.

PS And, as Steve and I have spent recent days working hard on the final checks and publicity for our book Grace-filled Marriage, I have often paused and smiled, thinking of how I can’t wait to send a copy to Rob and Hannah.

We have stories from other couples in the book, who have faced unexpected difficulties and pain and seen God’s grace uphold and sustain them. They too will have an incredible story to tell about one of the most challenging periods of their married life and what God did in and through them…

Lessons from lockdown

I am delighted to welcome Tony Horsfall back to my blog. He wrote about love and loss in lockdown previously. In this guest post he is considering how we have been changed during the pandemic – and what the Church may need to take away as lessons learned through the difficulties of lockdown.

Last night at our prayer meeting we thought about how church will be different after the pandemic. It’s a question many churches are asking, even agonising over. As we listened to God afterwards, I felt him say, ‘It’s not that church will be different, it’s that you will be different.’

Church will change because hopefully we have changed during this pandemic. Each of us will have been impacted by the pandemic in different ways, but, make no mistake, the pandemic and the experience of lockdown has changed us – hopefully for the better. And those changes will shape the way we think about church and practise ministry once we are free to meet again.

THE CHANGES I HAVE SEEN

This is certainly true for me. I am not the same person going into 2021 as I was at the start of 2020. Life has shaped me and deepened me, and I pray this will show in my ministry. I have been sensitised to grief and loss like never before. I now see both the great need and enormous opportunity to help others on their grief journey, something to which most local churches are oblivious. Will this be part of my ministry going forward, or will my role be to advocate for this group?

Having been the recipient of so much kindness myself, I hope I am a kinder person with a greater empathy for others, seeing something of the image of God in everyone I meet. I have had a brush with death and that causes me to value life and not take it for granted. Every day is precious, to be received as a gift and enjoyed with thankfulness. As a result, I hope I have a better grasp of what is really important, and what is secondary. I feel more open to change than I have ever been, more willing to accept differences in others and see them as a blessing. 

I hope all of this will show in my teaching and my writing. Not many people get the opportunity that I have, to start life again, and I am praying that I will make good choices that will make my later years abundantly fruitful. I don’t simply wish to go back to how things were before – I want to live another adventure with God.

CHANGES WE SHOULD ALL PONDER

Other people will have been impacted differently by the pandemic. Some I know have been involved in delivering food parcels to needy families, developing in them a social conscience. Is this community involvement something that will be carried forward?Feelings of anger at perceived injustices can be a powerful motivating force for change and shape the way Church responds to society. 

Some have seen how technology and media presence can enhance the ministry scope of the local church, giving it access to those who don’t normally attend, and even creating an international audience. How can we maintain and develop this new aspect of ministry?

Yet others will have felt the impact of the pandemic in a deeply personal way, having lost their job or been furloughed. Restricted income has caused a reassessment of priorities and the place of material things. Some have chosen to simplify their lifestyle. Will simplicity become the new normal?

Hopes have been dashed, key events postponed, relationships put on hold. We have felt the pain of separation from loved ones – will it make us value relationships all the more? When church fellowships have not meant for months, will we be drawn closer together going forwards, or drift further apart? Has the opportunity for more time alone helped or hindered our walk with God? Have we deepened our spirituality or simply drifted away?

HOW ARE YOU BEING SHAPED?

I have always felt that the ministry of the local church should be a reflection of the gifts and interests of its members. That way, rather than copying what others are doing, we can authentically be who we are in our expression of Church. This makes local church ministry both sustainable and enjoyable. Church after the pandemic will be different because we are different. Our characters will have changed, new giftings will have emerged, we will feel burdened in different ways than before. Rather than simply getting back to ‘business as usual’ perhaps we can pause and consider if God may want to do a new thing among us.

How do you think you have changed as a person during the pandemic? It is worth stopping to think about this because we don’t want to miss the gift of transformation that God is giving us through these difficult days. Don’t waste your sorrows, griefs, losses, sacrifices, hardships…What has God been forming within you? And how will that shape your service for him in the coming days? How will it be different because you are different? What will be new for you in 2021?

Tony Horsfall is a retreat leader, author and mentor. His latest book is Finding refuge and is available directly from him at tonyhorsfall@uwclub.net

PS If you are walking through grief, or feel you have loss and disappointment you need to process, there is still time to sign up to my online retreat, which is taking place on 23 January.

Living by the Spirit

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These reflections on living by the Spirit are based on Galatians 5:13–26.

‘the fruit of the Spirit is love, joy, peace, forbearance, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness and self-control’ (vv22–23)

We have spent some time looking at the things that we need to actively ‘take off’, and previously saw how a lack of self-control affects our whole being. Today’s passage puts in stark contrast living for our fleshy selves with living by the Spirit. We are reminded at the start that we are ‘called to be free’ (v13). But the only way to do this is to ‘live by the Spirit’ (v16). What does this mean? Well verses 22–26 give us a very clear indication.

CULTIVATED BY THE SPIRIT

If you are anything like me, you may read the list of the fruits of the Spirit and feel slightly condemned. I know that gentleness is not my strong point. In fact, way back in church youth group a visiting speaker challenged us to take turns thanking God for the qualities that we saw in each other. I was asked to go first and, as we were all quite shy, the guy encouraged the others to speak up by making suggestions. When he said: ‘Is she gentle?’ everyone fell about laughing. No, gentleness is not a natural quality in me. But, rather than the fruit being things we need to work up in our own strength, the Holy Spirit works in our hearts to cultivate them.

As we give Him access to the whole of our hearts, His fruit will naturally grow. That is why Paul urges us to ‘keep in step with the Spirit’. Our old, sinful selves have been crucified with Christ, but he recognises that they have desires that do assert themselves.

BRINGING OUR BATTLES BEFORE THE SPIRIT

Many of us will have encountered battles during the past year with this. As restrictions have tightened, it has been tempting to indulge in activities that we find give us fleeting comfort and pleasure, such as binge-watching or eating.

It has been beautiful to see a sense of community grow, as many people have pulled together to support each other in these tough times. And yet, in our own homes, sometimes the tiredness and stress of the situation has had us lashing out at those closest to us, as patience has worn thin, and tempers have flared.

It is in such moments that we have a choice: either give in to what we know are unhealthy desires, or say no to them and ask for the Holy Spirit’s help to walk into the life we have been called to. Of course, we must be kind and compassionate to ourselves, and those around us. Being aware of what pushes our buttons is part of that process. Let’s ask the Holy Spirit to reveal more of those things to us today, and bring them before Him.

Prayer: Holy Spirit, I thank You that You grow Your fruit within my heart. Help me to walk in step with You, allowing You access to the whole of me. Amen.