Three things I was never told about being a mum

1 Comment

I am aware that Mother’s Day is difficult for many. It is important that churches celebrate each and every woman who is a part of their church community, so that no one feels left out. We are, after all, each a vital part of our church family.

Today I do want to take time on my blog to reflect on what being a mum is like for me. I adore my kids – yes, they frustrate me intensely at times (just keeping it real!), but they are what gets me up in the morning (on school days that’s to ensure they get up on time – they’ve both hit the teenage years and would rather catch a few extra moments in bed!). While I treasure my kids, pray for and encourage them daily, there are definitely things that have surprised me about being a mum. I thought I would share some of them this Mother’s Day. I didn’t realise:

1. How much my sleep would be affected

We all start out expecting to have broken nights (I always found it frustrating that late pregnancy resulted in a severe lack of sleep – it made more sense to me to be able to store it up, because once a baby arrives letting you sleep is not top of his/her agenda!) However, I never realised that my sleep would go on being affected. We were actually blessed with great sleepers – our first slept through the night by eight weeks (her brother more than made up for that though!). But just because they slept doesn’t mean that I did. I would lie awake in those early years, wondering how they were, praying for them, thinking about the challenges we were going to face the next day.

And then of course the early school years brought so many different bugs and illnesses into our home, causing a big smattering of sleepless nights (I still remember the night before my husband first preached at our church; our daughter had chickenpox and was quite distressed. In order to give him some rest, and to try and settle her, I went to her room and lay down next to her cot, holding her hand – and was still there the next morning.) 

But now we have teenagers, our eldest is always up beyond the time that I would naturally want to go to bed. It is in that quieter time, without her younger sibling, that she often opens up more about what is going on for her. They are super precious moments – ones I don’t want to miss. There are just times when I could do with help keeping my eyelids open!

2. How much I would question my own decisions

People sometimes say that mums have an inbuilt, natural gift of knowing what to do in countless situations. But, while there often is an automatic response that happens in times of crises, for example, I haven’t always found that to be the case. I’ve floundered when trying to decide whether a child needs to stay off school, whether I should be giving them another dose of medicine (thank God I have a level-headed and wise husband to make decisions alongside me!) – and whether I should have gone back to work as quickly as I did (even though I work from home). I have worried I’ve made the wrong decisions, felt guilty if I’ve taken time for myself and lifted up many a prayer to ask that I wouldn’t scar them for life by making the wrong decision.

3. How intense my feelings towards them would be

Now this one took me by surprise. I actually found it hard to bond with my kids initially, as I had problems breastfeeding them, and also experienced postnatal depression. But I’m relieved to say that that difficult period passed fairly quickly and, ever since, I have continued to be overwhelmed by the intensity of emotions I feel for them. 

In recent years I have had to fight hard for support for one of them, and have surprised myself at how readily my ‘big mama bear’ (as we call her) comes to the fore. I am naturally a shy, fairly quiet person but woe to anyone who doesn’t show them the care or consideration that any human being deserves. I never fully appreciated the depth of love – and pain – I would feel. There are times when I long to be able to take the difficulties they are walking through upon myself instead. In other moments, I am totally overwhelmed by joy simply watching them make each other laugh. 

Looking back, motherhood has certainly been a rollercoaster ride. While the journey has included a lot of pain and lament recently, I am so grateful to God for my precious children.

International Women’s Day

1 Comment

This International Women’s Day, I have taken part in a blog by the Woman Alive team that focuses on the women who have inspired us. Here is my entry – you can read the rest of the post over on the Woman Alive website.

Drawing of my mum by my very talented daughter.

I want to honour the incredible woman my mum was, and the huge impact she had on my life. She, more than anyone, taught me about having resilience in my faith, about being open and honest about my wrestling but also to cling to God despite the questions. I have had two years without her now and still, every time I face a difficulty, my heart pangs as I long to speak to her – to get her wise take on the situation but also to enjoy her prayer support. Despite being isolated in her home, crippled with pain and fighting for every breath in her final years, she was a faithful prayer warrior.

Regarding her ongoing suffering, rather than asking “Why me?” she said “Why not me?” I hope I can continue her legacy of having a stubborn, strong, determined faith and being a loving, supportive, praying wife/mother/friend/colleague to those around me.

Let us not forget

I watched my mum struggle and suffer but never lose her dignity. I know there are many women in vastly different situations around the world today who are nevertheless doing exactly the same. While it shouldn’t take a day like International Women’s Day to prompt us, can I use this opportunity to urge us to remember them all each and every day. Let’s not stop fighting and praying for an end to the unjust suffering so many are experiencing.

Gratitude can completely shift your perspective

Photo by Gabrielle Henderson on Unsplash

I was first challenged to cultivate gratitude by a friend leading a session in a mother/toddler group I attended when my son was younger. Struggling with postnatal depression at the time, I often awoke with a feeling of hopelessness. I decided to take up the challenge, although I wasn’t sure what difference it would make. However, having the goal of thanking God for the day as soon as I woke up did help to shift my perspective, even though it was difficult at times (and wasn’t a ‘magic cure’ for my depression).

The challenge also included thinking of five different things to be thankful to God for daily. I couldn’t always think of five, but didn’t get hung up on that. The practice helped me to remember to thank God and gave me much more of an awareness of his hand of grace in my life at I time when his presence often felt pushed out by the depression. 

Being intentional

As the years have passed, I haven’t kept up the practice religiously, but I do go back to it every so often. Back in 2017, for example, I realised that my attitude wasn’t as positive as it had been previously. I was busy writing a book, and was grateful for the time I’d had set aside to do so, but I was beginning to get anxious about the fact that I hadn’t had much paid work. The lack of income was definitely weighing heavy on my mind.

I found that taking the time to intentionally thank God for what he was doing in my everyday life shifted my focus off of the ‘what ifs’. As a result, I was more grateful, and generally more at peace. I look back now with great thankfulness for that period, as I had the time and space to write without distraction, and God supplied all our family’s needs too.

Gratitude is an anchor for our lives

Thankfulness has also been an anchor for me in the toughest of times, and so I have been encouraging my kids to choose daily gratitude too. Not only is gratitude a biblical concept, but science has discovered the wisdom behind it in recent years. Research has proven that if you write down at least three daily gratitudes for 21 days it rewires the brain and improves your overall mental wellbeing. One of them has been struggling in that area recently, so has made it a priority to say three things each night that they are grateful for. As I say goodnight, we discuss them and then pray, thanking God. 

This is a practice that is full of positives – why not give it a try?

Incorporating thankfulness into each day

  • On waking, thank God for your breath, for those close to you and for the chance to serve him for another day.
  • Before going to bed each night, write in a journal five reasons to thank God.
  • Just before switching off the light at bedtime, thank God for the way he has revealed his love and care to you.

If you would like a further thankfulness challenge, set an hourly alarm on your phone. Each time it goes offthank God for his presence, and for the fact that he is interested in every part of your life.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

This is part of a mini series on spiritual disciplines. Read about choosing a word for the year, and utilising the Daily Examen.

A relationship of intimacy

1 Comment

I welcome Julia Stevens to my blog, as part of her blog tour on the release of her book Like Him. Here she speaks to us about the relationship of intimacy we can have with Jesus, and how it impacts our other relationships too.

‘Read The Passion Translation of the Song of Solomon!’ my friend exclaimed, ‘I love it!’ We were at a Christian conference and I ordered my now much-thumbed slim copy as soon as I got home. The words of the ‘Song of all Songs’ are powerful and continue to fill my hungry heart full of the passionate words of Jesus my bridegroom. He is always with me, like no other. 

Words of intimacy

I have a good husband and lovely friends and family; however, my heart is deep and it has lacked kind and powerful words of affirmation at times. My heart craves the righteous loving words of God – his words hit the mark and fill my heart full, because he knows me better than anybody. Every heart needs these words of intimacy, and of affirmation also. Words such as: ‘I see your inner strength, so stately and strong’ (Song of Songs 4:4) and ‘Your inward life is now sprouting, bringing forth fruit’ (Song of Songs 4:13). When you hear those type of words doesn’t it cause you to want to rise up? To act like the words uttered, even though you may not feel the inner strength, because: ‘faith is the assurance of things hoped for, the conviction of things not seen’ (Hebrews 11:1, RSV). 

Exercising faith

Faith is the opposite of fear and love. Faith is of utmost importance in the relationship between you and Jesus and truly taking on board his words of love to your heart. You can receive them through believing the words, meditating and slowly chewing on them, taking time to digest them. I know that my own heart is built up by his loving words and so I respond by asking him to: ‘Come walk with me as you walked with Adam in your paradise garden’ (Song 4:16). The bride of Christ can’t help but sing to the Lord her bridegroom, and Jesus loves to hear wonderful words from your lips.   

Our ultimate partner

Jesus is presented to us in the Song of Songs as our bridegroom king, speaking sweet and strong words of affirmation to his bride. If we speak and listen to our ‘husband of all husbands’ more and learn to rely on him, perhaps our partners would benefit from a more whole and loving wife or husband.

Those who are not in relationship with a spouse or partner can fully rely on God. This is possible even in deep terms; hence the Song of Solomon love poem is part of the whole of scripture. Jesus is your main stay and solid rock and can be your spiritual ‘lover’ and friend, whatever your earthly relationships status.

Generally, we tend to look to partners to provide for us physically and emotionally as well as spiritually. When I was a teenager, I had a broken heart and in the middle of the night, I cried out to God (though quietly into my pillow): ‘You are not able to hug me Lord!’ The next moment my mum, like a messenger of God himself, came into my room and gave me such a warm embrace of love. She had not ever done this before, and hasn’t done it since. But, through that experience, I now know that the Lord can embrace you and me directly through each other. We are often the answers to another’s prayer concerning the love of God.  

Impacting all our relationships

Our earthly partners, friends and family are not perfect, though. Do we rely on and expect too much of our earthly partners, parents and peers at times? We can forget that, spiritually speaking, God our Father has provided us with a ‘husband of all husbands’ to go to, not only to make up any lack but primarily for us to have a relationship of intimacy with our saviour and maker. 

Our ‘husband of all husbands’ can provide everything we need, and he loves also to see the outworking of his love through his own creation: ie in us as human wives and husbands, friends, parents etc. The more we can rely on Jesus as our husband, the more whole our relationships on earth will be.

Julia Stevens has a degree in creative writing, runs a small business with her husband, has two grown children and is part of her local church family. Her book Like Him is full of inspiration, prayers, poems, encouragement and spiritual experiences to help you seek his kingdom first. Find out more about it, and buy it, here.

Exploring the Daily Examen

2 Comments

The Daily Examen may sound intimidating but I have discovered that it is an amazing – and simple – way of connecting with God. Here I share how I first came across it and how I have come to value it.

Practising the Daily Examen allows you to evaluate your day, and God’s presence in it.

It was reading the Sensible Shoes fiction series that compelled me to try some spiritual disciplines for the first time. The series is written by Sharon Garlough Brown, and tells the story of four women who attend the same spiritual formation group at a retreat centre. Sharon is a spiritual director herself, and manages to weave into the women’s stories ways to connect with God deeply during everyday life. As the women are introduced to new spiritual practices by their course facilitator, so too is the reader as Sharon provides instructions for each one. It was in her books that I first discovered the Daily Examen.

The origins of the Examen

Ignatius of Loyola developed the Daily Examen in the 16th century. He believed it was a gift from God to be utilised twice daily (at noon and at the end of the day). It focuses on prayerfully reflecting on the day’s events to discern God’s presence and his will for our daily lives.

My experience with the Examen

As someone who usually sets aside time with God in the morning, it was interesting to switch to the end of the day, looking back over its events. I was particularly intrigued by a quote from the character and course leader Katharine: ’Pay attention to your strong reactions and feelings, both positive and negative. The Spirit speaks through both.’ I have certainly found that to be the case. While I don’t utilise the Examen every day, I have found it to be an enlightening and enriching experience.

Using the Daily Examen

It can be helpful to view the Examen as a way of sitting with Jesus and talking through what happened during the day. It is about slowing down to pay attention to the details of our lives, which we might otherwise overlook. Therefore, you might find it helpful to visualise snapshots of your day in your mind.

  1. Be still and become aware of God’s presence. Ask the Holy Spirit for guidance and begin looking back over the day. It can be helpful to clarify times of being particularly aware of his presence. Were there any times when he seemed absent?
  2. Review the day with gratitude. Thank God for any of the special gifts he provided, looking out for the smallest details such as interactions with friends, food, nature.
  3. Pay attention to your emotions. We can detect the presence of God in our emotions, so it can be helpful to think about when you felt most alive and energised, and when we felt drained or anxious. Where there times when you resisted God? Why? God may bring to mind things that need confession, and, once you have done that, you can receive his grace and forgiveness.
  4. Concentrate on one feature of the day. There may be something that seems to be particularly highlighted – perhaps because God wants to teach you something. It could be positive or negative; the important thing is to stay with it, and pray as God leads.
  5. Look forward to tomorrow. You can take the lessons from one day into the next, bearing in mind how you have responded and worked with the Holy Spirit today. If there are any challenges you know you will face tomorrow, prayerfully bring them before God before asking for hope and a sense of his love.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

This is part of a mini series on spiritual disciplines. To read about choosing a word for the year, click here.

Jesus’ humanness

Photo by Hussein Altameemi from Pexels

I am delighted to welcome Jo Acharya to my blog today, as part of the blog tour for her devotional book Refresh: a wellness devotional for the whole Christian life (Do check out the details at the end for your chance to win a copy!) Here, she invites us to take time to consider Jesus’ humanness and what impact it can have on our lives today. 

She moves lightly around the small room. The baby she holds against her shoulder is whimpering, and she talks to him in a lyrical voice as she pats his back. Eventually the child lets out a small burp, and she brings him round to face her. She smiles, cradling his head in one hand while she wipes the milky mixture from his tiny mouth with the other. And then she kisses his forehead and begins to sing, a version of the song that first flowed from her lips in the early days of her pregnancy: “My soul magnifies the Lord…”

Imagining Jesus’ everyday life

We could imagine many more vignettes like this. Perhaps Jesus’ legs repeatedly giving way when he first tries to stand as a toddler, or mispronouncing difficult letters in his early words. Perhaps Joseph teaching him to cut straight pieces of wood with a saw or Mary showing him how to knead bread. We might picture Jesus diligently memorising passages of scripture as a boy, or laughing and eating with his friends as an adult.

In a way these scenes are easy to imagine because we’ve seen them a hundred times. This is the everyday stuff of human life. But thinking of Jesus this way can be mind-blowing. That God himself chose to enter fully into this human life, even confining himself to a physical human body, is one of the greatest mysteries of the Christian faith. That he came to us as a helpless newborn baby, totally reliant on an inexperienced young woman to keep him alive and clean and well-fed, is even more remarkable.

When the ordinary becomes sacred

One of the central themes in my devotional is that when we invite God into the everyday stuff of our lives, ordinary things become sacred; from our relationships and emotions right down to our very bodies. In Refresh I look at the complex relationships we all have with our bodies, and how Jesus’ unpolished humanness gives extraordinary dignity and worth to our own.

After all, our whole lives are lived in and through our bodies. Like Jesus, we are all physical beings in a physical world, and we can’t do a thing without using some part of our physical form. God created us this way, and he called his creation good. Despite the sin, the sickness, the damage we have sustained in this fallen world, to be human is still a precious and miraculous thing.

What Jesus’ humanness means for us

I sometimes wonder when Jesus knew he was different. Was there a lightbulb moment, or was the knowledge of his identity always there, gradually coming into focus as his self-awareness developed? And then I think of his parents. How do you mother the Messiah? I imagine this simple couple, the carpenter and his wife, simply doing what all good parents do. Loving their children, passing on values and traditions, making mistakes, giving their best.

Jesus’ human life was a real human life. It wasn’t a pretence – he wasn’t an actor playing a role. He didn’t resent his humanity, he embraced it. Even after his resurrection, his glorified body was a glorified human body. This matters. It matters because being human is good, and we need to know that God is glad to share in our humanity with us. It matters because being human in a fallen world is hard, and we need to know that Jesus has experienced that too. And it matters because being human is a team effort. We can’t do it alone, and we don’t have to. You and I have a team-mate in heaven with God, constantly interceding for us. This is what Jesus’ humanity means. The burping baby, the unsteady toddler, the compassionate carpenter. The great King and High Priest who is able to empathise with you and me.

Free copy!

Jo has generously offered to give a copy of her book away to one of my readers (she will send it direct). In order to be in with a chance of winning, do sign up to my newsletter by filling in the form here (I promise not to bombard you – I send a newsletter out around once a term/quarter), or if you’re already signed up just drop a comment below.

Jo Acharya is a writer and music therapist. Her first book, Refresh: a wellness devotional for the whole Christian life is available from all good bookshops. You can read more of Jo’s writing and buy signed copies of Refreshat ValleyOfSprings.com, and you can follow her on social media at Facebook.com/ValleyOfSprings and Instagram.com/ValleyOfSprings.

A word for the year

I have the great pleasure of taking part in a mini series of blogs for Woman Alive on spiritual disciplines during January. The content will be reposted here, so that I can share what I have written with you. I hope the three blogs over the next few weeks are an encouragement to you.

In recent years, the idea of choosing a word for the year that is then focused on and regularly prayed into has become popular among Christians. The book My One Word (Zondervan), came from a challenge that one of the authors gave their church back in 2007 to ditch New Year’s resolutions and instead focus on a word that year.

Trying it out for myself

I am not one to jump on bandwagons, and actually avoided the trend to begin with. Then, at the start of 2017, I felt God impress on me that he wanted me to focus on a particular word in the coming year: ‘humility’. That word really stretched and challenged me in ways I couldn’t have imagined, which resulted in me working on my character. For example, I found myself in situations where I felt the need to ‘fight my corner’, and God stopped me in my tracks by simply whispering: ‘humility’. Rather than going off ‘all guns blazing’, I took the time to slow down and pray. I experienced peace as a result, and lost the overwhelming desire to react.

Since then, I can honestly say that the word for the year has become a great discipleship tool in my life. I have been surprised by the words that have come, and how much God has used them to shape me.

There have been years when the words have seemed strange – out of place even. For example, in 2020 my word for the year was ‘delight’ – by that February my mum had died and then the pandemic hit. I had to dig deep to find out what treasure God wanted me to learn about delight. I discovered that he wanted to teach me how to delight in him despite my circumstances, and meditate on how he delights in me. Last year my word was ‘rest’, and it was one of the hardest, most gruelling years I’ve ever had. I came to understand how God’s rest is necessary for survival rather than a nice optional extra within a busy life.

I don’t like doing anything under compulsion, so certainly wouldn’t want to add to a list of ‘ought tos’ in your life. However, I have found choosing a word for the year has been life-giving in so many ways, and would recommend you try it out.

Choosing a word for the year yourself

Each time I have chosen a word, I have simply prayed and asked God for a word. I have then taken a few weeks to see if the word that I sensed was in fact the right one. I have also prayed it through with close friends.

If you feel that you need step-by-step guidance, then My One Word provides clear advice on how to choose a word for the year. For example, it suggests that you pick a word that ‘centres on your character and creates a vision for your future’. The book takes you through the process of how to narrow down everything you want to achieve during the year into that one word.

Once you have a word, you may find it helpful (as I have) to let a few trusted friends know what it is so that they can be praying for you. You might like to invite them to ask God for a word for themselves too, so that you can be supporting one another. I hope and pray that you are blessed by choosing a word for this year.

Reprinted with permission from Premier Woman Alive magazine, copyright Premier Christian Communications Ltd 2022, all rights reserved. womanalive.co.uk  

Behind the sparkle of Isabella M Smugge

I am delighted to welcome Ruth Leigh to my blog, to celebrate the publication of her second novel: The Trials of Isabella M Smugge. I was hooked within a few seconds when reading the first in the series, and this second one hasn’t disappointed. It is funny, heartwarming, honest, and doesn’t shy away from the difficulties life can throw at us. Here, Ruth lifts the lid on what life is like for her as a fiction writer and mum.

When I first invented my ludicrously successful ‘Instamum’ star, Isabella M Smugge, she was simply a comic device, a woman who couldn’t have been more different to me. I reside in a draughty semi-detached Victorian house, heated by an ancient Rayburn. This means lots of cobwebs and grime, although there are charming original features (windows that let in the wind, nice red tiles in the dining room, smoke-blackened fireplace). Isabella dwells in a Grade II listed Georgian house, clean and sparkling as you like (because someone else is paid to do it), heated via oil I would imagine and with more reception rooms than you can shake a stick at. 

My garden is very on-trend. I thought you might like to know that. It’s rewilded. So now! (As in it’s full of weeds, the hedge needs trimming, the bushes need cutting back and there are plants growing where no plant should be.) Isabella’s acreage is a delightful panorama of velvety green lawn, charming flowerbeds and a Victorian greenhouse full of produce. Oh, and she likes to have her coffee in the reclaimed Edwardian gazebo by the pond. 

The reality of this writer’s life

Even though I know perfectly well that success is 10 per cent inspiration and 90 per cent perspiration, before I was one, I thought that fiction writers were a different breed, ethereal, other-worldly, inhabiting a more gracious, beautiful universe.

If you are a fiction writer and this is your reality, do let me know. Feel free to share your secrets. Because I could really do with knowing. Let me open a little window into the insanity that is the Leigh household first thing in the morning. 

Unusually yesterday morning, all three children were in residence and required driving to various places of education. My normal routine is to fall out of bed, wander about a bit drinking tea and making packed lunches then drive the 13- and 15-year-old to school. Yesterday, the 18-year-old, slightly fragile after a night in the public house with a friend was part of the matrix. 

It was School Sponsored Walk Day. Standing in front of the mirror in the downstairs loo applying make-up ahead of Lovely Jason’s visit (it was book launch day and he shot a short video), I was joined by said children. One was dressed as a frog, complete with hat, the other was brandishing a large rubber horse’s head. As I tried to put on eyeliner in a straight line, my daughter stood behind my right shoulder, gurning at me in the mirror and flicking her tongue in and out while making frog noises (I suspect mimicking catching a fly) while my son nibbled at my elbow with the horse teeth. 

This would never happen to Isabella M Smugge.

“Can I just mention that your mother, the author, has a big day today,” I quavered, rubbing concealer on to my huge eye bags. “My new book is launched! It’s in the shops and everything.”

Neither of them seemed that bothered. “Well done you!” my son said kindly, patting me on the shoulder from a great height (he’s 6 foot 1”). Scrambling into the car to do the double run (high school in Woodbridge followed by college in Ipswich), we bounced off down the flooded lane, muddy water running off the fields and optimistic white clouds scudding across the rain-washed blue sky. I began to wonder what I would write about for the second half of this blog. Five minutes later, it had written itself.

Hands-on parenting

For years and years, no car journey was complete without at least one mild row or wrangle. Today, hearing their voices rise and fall in good-natured abuse, I smiled to myself. Once upon a time, the exhausted mother of three little children, I yearned to have peace and quiet, to be able to go to the loo alone, to drink a cup of tea that was somewhere between boiling and tepid. 

Now I can, but it’s the end of one season and the beginning of the next. They can still dish it out though.

Son #2: “Who were you talking to outside last night? I could hear you going on and on in my room! Do you know what time it was? [Impression of growly voice].”

Son #1: “I was talking to Evie! She wanted to know I’d got back all right. And what about you? All I could hear the other night was [second impression of growly voice].”

Son #2: “I was talking to Shay! We were saying goodnight! And anyway, what about Katie, FaceTiming her friends?”

Son #1 and Son#2: “Ooh, hello, how are you, giggle giggle, make-up, Netflix [impression of teenage girls].

Daughter: “Shut up! I haven’t talked to them at night for AGES! And I don’t talk like that.”

Son #1: “Ooh ooh!”

Me: “That sounds like that bit in Feelgood Inc by Gorillaz.”

Son #1: “So it does! Ooh ooh!”

Me: “Ooh ooh!”

And so it went on, everyone smiling and a general air of bonhomie in the car.

I dropped off the frog and the horse and continued to Ipswich. Thanks kids. The chaos, the rowing, the lost hoodie, the last-minute packed lunch – all grist to the mill. My heroine is new to the crazy world of actually parenting your children yourself, but she’s learning fast. 

My house is messy and dusty, my garden is wild. But heck, authenticity is what it’s all about and here’s my truth. Behind the sparkle lies inspiration, exhaustion, innovation and a bit more exhaustion. 

And I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Ruth Leigh is a novelist and freelance writer based in beautiful rural Suffolk where she lives with three children,one husband, a kitten and assorted poultry. She is a book reviewer for Reading Between the Lines and loves nothing more than losing herself in a good book. You can find out more about her and the world of Isabella M Smugge at ruthleighwrites

Learning to celebrate despite heartache

1 Comment

My life has been filled with some deep griefs in recent years. As a family we are walking through an intensely difficult time right now. It is hard for us to plan anything and often we aren’t able to do things that we used to take for granted.

So when it came to my husband’s recent 50th birthday I was concerned whether we would be able to celebrate it well. Although, in all honesty, I felt too exhausted to try and do more than get through each day. The idea of organising anything that might need to be cancelled filled me with dread.

Then we decided to utilise a voucher some friends had given us to do something for just the two of us. We downed tools very early one day, and went out for a slap-up brunch while the kids were at school. While it was stressful to get out, we were so pleased we had made the effort.

LEARNING HOW TO REMEMBER AND CELEBRATE WELL

The arrangements then kept falling into place. We were blessed to be able to see friends as well as family to celebrate my husband and what he means to us all. It truly was a special time for him. However, it was constantly punctuated with the sadness of life’s obstacles yet to be overcome.

As we were in the midst of our busy weekend, I kept being reminded of the Israelites in the wilderness. While God provided for their needs their day-to-day experiences must have been tough. A nomadic lifestyle, no modern-day facilities or medicines, and having to bury their dead before moving on… What harsh realities they must have faced. And yet God taught them the importance of remembering and celebrating through the many festival days that were a part of the law shared with Moses on Mt Sinai.

Click here to read the rest of this article.

Summer news

I wanted to share my summer news as I realise that I have been pretty quiet – both in terms of newsletters and here on my website. That wasn’t an intentional decision, but a necessary result of some things we are walking through right now. This summer I have taken extra time out with my kids alongside helping out at a magazine whose editor is ill. But here are some things that have come out recently (although I worked on them a while ago) that I’d like to flag up to you (and so I’ve included the information here and in my newsletter, which you can sign up to receive here):

Return of regular column

I used to write every other week for Christian Today but haven’t done so for a number of years. Recently, they invited me back, so I started with once a month over the summer. In July I encouraged us all to go gently as we begin to meet together again, and for August wrote about taking time to lament.

A piece on waiting

I was so pleased to be able to write about this subject, as it has been one on my heart for a while. It featured in August’s issue of Premier Christianity, but can be accessed here.

Writing for Preach magazine

I was thrilled when my first pitch to this magazine was accepted, and I now have an article in the current issue, which is on grief and lament. Unfortunately I can’t share a link to it, but the whole magazine is available to purchase either in print or online here.