I have just returned from the mums and toddlers group I go to on a Wednesday morning. While I was walking back it just struck me all over again what a privilege it is to belong to it. This is definitely no ordinary mother/toddler group. We are all Christian mums and, while the kids have great fun playing with one another (and someone else’s toys!), the emphasis is on the mums. It is a place to support each other. We may have minor theological differences as we all come from different churches in the area, but that is not what is important. I frankly don’t care about that. To have found a group of like-minded women that I can be totally honest with – can laugh or cry with, vent my frustrations to and enjoy shared experiences with – it is a precious, precious gift God has granted us all. It is a place we know is safe, that there are no repercussions from and that will stay totally confidential. Because of that we share some of our deepest thoughts and struggles – as well as our day-to-day triumphs. We may talk about issues to do with being a mum, Christian, wife and each time one shares, there are always others who have been through something similar who can offer experienced advice. And when one is hurting we all hurt. We stand with one another and pray for each other. Whenever possible we also study various parts of the Bible, or aspects of being a Christian. I tell you what, when I suffered badly from postnatal depression a couple of years ago, this group was my main lifeline. And it has continued to be a vital part of my life. I am so grateful that God has provided a place for me where I can fellowship with other Christian mums and have more than just a cuppa and a chat…
Category: On parenting
‘Just’ mummy today
I found today really refreshing. I didn’t have a deadline to meet, or an article that I HAD to work on, so (apart from a few emails) I spent the whole day with my son and a few of our friends. It was so enjoyable to spend time with people I’ve been too busy to see on a regular basis recently, and I found I enjoyed being focused on ‘being mummy’ a lot more than I do when it is the only thing I do day in day out for a while. That made me think about the fact that it is actually good for my family that I’m now back to working more – not just financially but also because I am feeling more fulfilled as a person. I know there are some awkward moments – when I’ve got deadlines looming or an idea brewing so I can’t seem to focus on anything else – but surely a more fulfilled mum makes for a better mum? I do hope so, because I’d really like to continue on this path I’ve embarked upon! I’ve still got issues to sort – such as how to drop everything I’m in the middle of writing to deal with a ‘crisis’ of my daughter’s with a degree of grace and patience I haven’t as yet found! (And then to remember what on earth it was I meant to write next!) But as 21st-century mums we all have our juggling acts and I’m not here to moan – I love the fact I can work from home and be here for my kids as much as I need to be. I do have the best of both worlds and, while having a foot in both camps continuously can be quite a tall order at times, I wouldn’t have it any other way!
Bleary-eyed but still serving
We are going through one of those seasons. You know the ones – where one of your children decides that waking up mega-early is fun and they are going to do it constantly, night after night. So you are surviving on at least three hours less sleep than normal.
It’s at times like these that I get tested to the limits. It always seems to come when we are at our busiest. I never quite know whether it is them showing their disdain for the extra work or church commitments we’ve taken on, or God’s wry way of asking us to check if our priorities are still round the right way. Whatever it is, I know I get more irritable, lose my patience more easily and generally feel more down. If I’m honest I can find dealing with the children an extra burden I could do without – and then when I realise that I’m overwhelmed by guilt – sometimes… And it sometimes also hits me what these seasons reveal to me about my character flaws. And I wonder how come they are all still there, when I thought I’d made some headway with some of them…
The worst night of all often happens right before a Sunday meeting – when my husband is obviously facilitating the meeting, I may be playing and singing but whatever else I’m doing I will probably be ministering to a few people. I often think how can I when I feel empty myself – when I’m drained and grumpy? And that’s when I find the miracle I’m so regularly thankful for – God steps in when I’m beyond it. I know others say it too – when you really aren’t in control because you are so tired, it is actually often easier for God to accomplish what He wants to because He doesn’t have to get past your own thoughts and feelings on the matter. That’s not to say I wouldn’t prefer to be serving from a more awake state – just that I’m extremely grateful for what He does when I am struggling to keep my eyes open and my brain focused on what I am supposed to be doing!
Making me think…
A few weeks ago we watched My Sister’s Keeper. What a film. Cried long silent tears – I couldn’t lose it completely as I didn’t want to miss any of it! I thought it was well acted and brought out so many different issues. It made me think for the first time whether I would in fact have a dilemma if faced with the opportunity to save my daughter’s life by creating a ‘designer’ baby – something I have always been so set against (and still am). In such an emotional situation would I remain true to my morals? And then the heartbreaking tearing apart of a family – and the ‘using’ of the youngest daughter. All so understandable, but so so wrong. Also understandable was the mother’s determination not to give up – even in the face of everyone else telling her she must, including her dying daughter. Again it made me question what I would do. I guess watching films like that once you have become a mum really brings things home in a different way…
Our family
Having published my girly chat post, I realised I hadn’t introduced my family at all. We have two small kids – one just started full-time school and the other is at home with me every day. I’ve always been busy and wouldn’t have it any other way. Most of the time I’ve been working part-time, and haven’t had many weeks off of the worship team either since having kids. But I am aware that our lives seem to have ‘gone up a notch’. I thought I was busy before – now things are simply manic! I just want to ensure that we get our priorities right from day one (okay well from whatever day it is!). Our relationship to God, to each other and to our children should always come first. Yes being in church leadership is an awesome responsibility, and answering what I believe was God’s call to write is incredibly important to me too. However, I don’t ever want to become so caught up in all the things that we need to do, and could give ourselves to, that I don’t give the time that I need to to my family. Or don’t notice it when one of my kids really needs me. That would suck. For all of us…
A girly chat
I was chatting to my daughter this morning and was struck once again how easy it is for her to talk about God to those around her. I had overheard her the day before walking to school, excited that she had found out another friend goes to church every Sunday. ‘Wow we are both Christians!’ she exclaimed, beaming. She then said that her other best friends didn’t know about God and didn’t go to church – so she had to teach them. I wonder whether it is simply the freedom of childhood, or she is an evangelist in the making! It is so overwhelming at times to stop and actually take a step back and look at my kids. Life is usually far too busy and I am often too harassed to be grateful as I should, but there is so so much potential hidden in their little bodies and only God knows where they will end up. It is so important to pray for them and to help develop their giftings. I just hope I am not too caught up in myself and the jobs I have to do to give them everything they need to fulfil the potential placed inside of them.